I squeeze her thigh gently, my hand resting on her leg while I drive. She places her hand over mine and threads her fingers between my fingers.
The last time I felt this happy with someone was when I met Celso’s mother. It was the wrong time and the wrong place. I was married with kids, and she came into my life out of nowhere.
Amelia. Her name constricts my heart in dark ways.
She was everything to me. But I couldn’t have her. The mafia world, our traditions - it’s ok to mess around outside of your marriage - to play a little - but to fall in love, so deeply, madly, wildly in love with another woman. That is not acceptable.
My wife found out. My beautiful Francesca found out about Amelia, and she threatened to leave me if I didn’t end it with her. But ending it meant that Amelia would be free to be withsomeone else and that kind of knowledge crippled me. The image of her being with anyone but me - I couldn’t survive that image.
So, I did the only thing I could do.
I killed her.
If I couldn’t have her and I couldn’t set, her free without suffering for eternity thinking about it - I had only one choice.
A choice that has haunted me every day since.
But it is the right choice.
And now - decades later - the gods have forgiven me. Karma has forgiven me, and the universe has rewarded me with love again.
Love.
I grin to myself, staring ahead at the road as I think about how much things have changed - how drastically my life has shifted since Misha walked into it.
Yes.Love.
I am in love with this dark little creature. This little raven. I am in love with her, and it thrills me to realize that.
Parking underground at the apartment building Misha is practically dancing in her seat.
“Come on, let’s see if you’re happy with the place.” I say, climbing out of the car.
“Are you kidding - this building looks like a five-star hotel? The street outside is clean. There’s a security guard.” She says, looking around with wide eyes and a bright smile.
I chuckle as I pull her close to me and we climb into the elevator.
Misha loves the apartment.
Up on the fourteenth floor the views are gorgeous. Both the bedroom and the living room windows face the ocean, and her mother will be able to look out over the entire city of Boston from the comfort of her sofa.
“Do you think she’ll be happy here?” I ask as Misha rushes around admiring every inch of the place.
“There’s a spare room that she can set her sewing machine up in. Like a whole separate space for her office. She doesn’t have to work in the living room anymore. And the kitchen. She has so much space to cook in. She loves cooking. And there is a bath and a shower and a separate laundry room—” She rushes away again, exploring more.
I sit down on the wide gray sofa to wait for her. She makes me so happy.
Everything about her makes me happy. She is beautiful and energetic. She’s feisty and wild. She’s drop-dead gorgeous and so fucking sexy I can’t get enough of her.
She is my perfect match. More perfect than anyone -anyone -I’ve ever met.
The universe took everything I loved about Amelia and added even more perfection to that. And so, they created Misha. My little raven.
Misha runs into the living room and leaps onto me, flattening me against the sofa.
“I can’t believe how amazing this place is, thank you, thank you, thank you.” She shouts, over excited, almost in tears.
She grabs my face and kisses me.
