“Those are cute, by the way. I like them.” He paused for a moment, then looked at me again. “Uh, Vic?” he’d cleared his throat and shifted funny behind his guitar. I later found out he’d been sporting a boner he was trying to hide, but I hadn’t noticed.
“Yeah?”
He set down his guitar and stood up. Then he held out his hand. I stared at it before realising he was offering it to me. I reached out, and his grasp engulfed mine. He asked me to follow him, pulling me behind him after I agreed.
We slipped in the backyard and past Johnny and Ryan undetected as he led me towards the back of the yard where the summerhouse was. He nudged me so I was leaning against the side wall where we couldn’t be seen. He leaned in close. I could smell the mint on his breath.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” he said.
But he said nothing. He looked at me, his eyes locked on mine. I remember the feeling in my chest—it was like my heart was going to explode. My stomach was in knots, the anticipation almost killing me. Despite that, he didn’t budge.
After a few minutes, I leaned further forward. “Are you going to kiss me?”
Our noses bumped and there was a bit of fumbling. But as soon as his lips met mine, I knew that there was no one else I ever wanted to kiss. I’d looked at his lips enough to guess what they’d feel like, but I was wrong. They were soft, and his left hand came to rest on my cheek, his thumb gently stroking my face. His mouth opened slightly, so I did the same, not really knowing how to kiss, but I followed his lead.
He’d told me later it had been his first kiss, too, but I couldn’t tell. It was perfect. It was all over in a matter ofseconds because his mom called us in to eat, so he pulled himself away.
“I like you, Vicster,” he said before heading towards the house. Vicster. The ‘friendly’ name he used for me before we officially became Liam and Vicky, which was pretty much from that moment onwards.
“Could you bear the thought of him properly moving on?” Johnny interrupts my thoughts. When I hear what he says, my appetite disappears. I can’t even imagine what being hungry feels like. Johnny lets out an exasperated sigh. “Thought so,” he mutters under his breath.
Despite all of Johnny’s faults, I love him to death. Even if he pisses me off and talks down to me. He’s the only one who will ever fully understand growing up with our parents. But all of this, whatever it is, is Johnny’s fault. If he hadn’t played hockey as a kid, I’d never have met Liam Preston.
“None of this is easy, Johnny,” I say.
I order a coffee.
“I don’t get it. You were going to marry the guy and then suddenly, poof! Nothing. Not to mention that stunt you pulled just before Lois passed away.” I wondered how long it would take him to bring this up.
I chew on my bottom lip and fumble in my purse for my lip balm as a distraction, but Johnny’s glare is burning a hole in my head.
“If you must know, I didn’t want to end up like Mom and Dad,” I admit, finally. “Or Mr and Mrs Preston.”
It’s like the coin drops into the slot because Johnny’s face changes. He understands. I probably don’t need to elaborate, but I do. And once I start, I can’t stop myself.
“Fuck,” he says, “I didn’t realise that hit you so hard, Sis.”
“You can’t tell Liam!” I wag my finger at him. “Promise me!”
“Why not?” Johnny asks.
“He’ll want to be the hero and try to fix it, but he can’t. It is what it is. He can’t fix it.” He can’t fix me. I need to do that by myself.
The server sets a mug of coffee down in front of me, and I give a smile of thanks. She returns with a plate of food for Johnny.
“Aren’t you eating?” he asks, eyeing the empty stretch of table in front of me.
“Not hungry,” I mumble, taking a sip of my coffee.
This, too, is Johnny’s fault. I can’t say it enough. If he’d never gone to hockey, we’d never have met Liam Preston. I would be here now enjoying a delicious brunch—well, I wouldn’t be here because Johnny wouldn’t be playing hockey.
“Well, God knows I can’t force you to eat,” he says, bringing his fork to his mouth.
“What would you do if you didn’t play hockey?” I ask. I fix my mind on this alternative universe I’m creating where everything is amazing.
Johnny pauses, knife and fork in the air. “Huh. Random, but I’d probably be a vet.”
I almost choke on my coffee. There’s been no sign that Johnny liked animals enough to become a vet. Yeah, he likes dogs and stuff but a vet?! The look on my face must be of pure confusion because Johnny sniggers.
