Do Your Magic
Josh
Tomorrow we were playing Minnesota. Here, in Toronto. Just like the last game of the playoffs. We were all trying to pretend we weren’t freaking out, but we were. We’d talked to the shrink, but despite that, our play hadn’t improved and we were on edge. Even Coach. He was extra critical at practice and made Coach Salo keep working with Mitchell after the rest of us were done.
The locker room was tense. Obviously our struggles this season were mostly mental, and obviously it was because of how last season ended. But if you didn’t know that? The tension in this room would have proved it.
I’d showered and was getting dressed when Mitchell came off the ice, jaw set and sweat dripping down his face and neck. The guy had worked on his going-down-early issue that led to the final goal over the summer, and I swear no one had been able to fool him into doing it again. But we all remembered. And worried. Guys were watching Petey like he might collapse at his stall. Like repeating that last game was the worst thing that could happen.
And really? It was a game. We wanted to win. But look at De Vries—done playing because of cancer. Or Fitch, getting divorced. Someone had lost his dad last season. So what if we did lose to Minnesota again? Maybe if that was done we could forget that one fucking goal.
“Cooper!” I hollered.
Coop had gone to check on Mitchell. After I yelled, he gave Mitch a pat on his pads and came over to me. “Yeah, Ducky.”
“We should play Mitchell tomorrow.”
Oops. Guess I’d said that a little too loud. The locker room turned dead silent except for the sound of showers in the background.
“What the fuck?” Royster asked.
Oh well. In for a penny…
“We’re all walking around on eggshells here, like the worst thing in the world would be if Petey got hurt and Mitchell was in and we lost. Well, guess what? It’s not. There are things out there, so much bigger, like cancer and babies and family and shit. We’re already losing games. So let’s put Mitchell in, play Minnesota, and get it fucking done with.”
Everyone stared at me but no one said anything.
Cooper was staring in my direction, but he didn’t really see me. His brain was going at top speed. I could almost hear it. “Why not?”
Voices started to murmur, then question.
“Why the fuck not?” he said loudly and everyone stopped. “Ducky is right. We’re fucking petrified. Losing like that sucked, but guess what? Half of the teams that make the finals lose. That’s hockey. Mitchell is a hell of a good goalie, but that stupid goal is an albatross on his neck. On all of our necks.” He turned to Petrov. “You okay with that?”
Petrov, naked as usual, shrugged. “If it helps the team.”
Cooper nodded. “I’m going to talk to Coach.” He turned and left, still wearing his compression gear.
Barnes shook his head. “Well, Ducky. You’re either the smartest motherfucker on the team, or everyone is going to hate you.”
If this team didn’t start winning, it wouldn’t matter if they hated me, since I’d be traded. I guess we’d find out.
Cooper didn’t get back to the locker room before I left. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what was happening with my idea. In the moment, it’d made a lot of sense, but right now I was pretty sure it was the dumbest thing I’d ever come up with.
Katie came over that evening to watch TV. She noticed how I was fidgeting. She picked up the remote and hit pause. “Is this about the game tomorrow?”
I dropped my head on the back of the couch. “We’re all worked up about it, and I may have done the stupidest thing yet.”
She jabbed me with her elbow. “Did you break up with the team by text?”
I froze, remembering that I could be breaking up with the team. Not my choice, but someone might hear of it by text…
“Too soon?” I blinked at her. “Josh? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to?—”
I sat up. “It’s not that. But there’s something that might happen and I should tell you about it.”
I didn’t want to. I’d been hoping to get past this without telling her anything. But in high school, I’d decided things for her. And she needed to know, if I asked her to move past friends, just what might happen.
Katie curled up her legs, facing me. “Something bad?”
