“I am. I so am. It was hard for Mom and Dad, since they’d had such big plans. But I needed to live my life for me. And what you’re saying about how they manipulated Josh—I’m sure they thought it was for the best, but that’s not cool. Remember, it’s your life. Figure out what you want.”
“Right now, I just want to figure out what to do about Josh.”
“Ooooh.” Nora’s voice was teasing. “Sounds like there’s more going on than donairs. Ugh. Now I’m getting a craving for those.”
“Josh said he wanted to be friends. After I heard what Mom and Dad and his mother did, I thought I could do that. But then tonight I kissed him.”
“Katie! Details!”
I told her. Not just about the puck bunny, but about how the kiss had been so good, and Josh saying I could kiss him anytime.
Nora laughed. “I’m so glad I’m done with dating. To me, sounds like he wants to pick things up again. What do you want?”
I slid down in the chair, staring at the ceiling. “Hell if I know.”
“You don’t want him hooking up with puck bunnies, apparently.”
“Yeah. That confused me.”
I heard Nora mutter something. She must have covered up the phone.
“I gotta go. Sorry, sis. Pipsqueak needs his mom. But quick advice, since you called. Seems like you still have some feelings for Josh. You should tell him, and maybe you two could see where it goes. Deciding to go out with him, or whatever, doesn’t mean a lifelong commitment. If something is still there between you after five years, maybe it’s worth exploring.”
“Maybe it’s just nostalgia.”
“One way to find out.”
“But he’s famous here. I mean, people ask him for photos and autographs. I really don’t understand why he’d want to be with me, a math nerd.”
“Enough of those insecurities. There’s more to him than hockey and more to you than math. Just don’t be afraid to try something. I never thought about being a mom, and it turns out I love it. But I really have to go now. Love you.”
“Love you too.” And she was gone.
I set my phone on my chest and kept staring at the ceiling. Nora and I hadn’t been that close growing up. Three years between us had been a lot, and I’d always felt like I was losing a competition with her. Our parents might not have intended to foster that, but they had.
I’d never known that she was happy about getting pregnant five years ago. That she’d given up med school because she thought it was her best choice, not because of obligation. The way Mom and Dad had. Or at least, made us believe.
I’d had my life mapped out—Bachelor’s degree, master’s and then a PhD. Become a professor and live a life among my numbers.
Was that what I wanted, or was that what was safe, for me and my parents?
Chapter 17
Did She Ask to See Your Lightsaber?
Josh
That kiss from Katie stuck with me all night, and I went into practice with a big smile on my face.
Didn’t last. Coach was pissed about the game, and he worked us hard. The trainers had told me that I should stop if I felt anything with my knee, but I didn’t take the out. Hockey was a team sport, so I did the suicides with the others. I just hoped I could make a difference when we got on the ice for a game.
Before dismissing us, Coach had us gather around. More than a few of us were leaning on our sticks for support.
“I don’t know what happened last night. I hope it was just a reaction after last season. But you’re fucking better than that, and I want to see that next game. Instead of freaking out over losing the goddamn Cup, you can think about sweating your balls off in practice if you screw the pooch like that again.”
I wasn’t sure if that was really motivating us the way he hoped, but he dismissed us so we hurried off the ice quickly before he changed his mind.
“Knee good, Ducky?” Cooper asked.
