“A bit. I like it here. But what if no one wants me? What if this is it?”
Next thing, Katie was on the stool beside me, my foot resting on her lap. “Josh, from what I’ve picked up, and what you told me, that’s highly unlikely. The trainers said this would heal quickly, right?”
I nodded.
“You’re making lots of money, right? So if the worst happened, you’re okay financially, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but then what would I do? Everyone said—you even said—I should have a backup plan. And I didn’t. Hockey is all I know. It’s all I can do. What if it’s over?”
She shook her head. “We were all wrong. You’re here, making millions, right? You’ve probably made more than you would have in any backup career. And when you’re done, though probably not for years yet, you’ll find something else to do.”
“Like what?” I wasn’t just saying this. I had no idea what I’d do after hockey, but I’d thought I had more time to figure it out.
“What do other players do after they retire?”
“Some coach or do commentary on-air. Or go into management. Or business. And I can’t do any of that.”
Katie raised her brows. “Why not? I told you, back in high school, that there’s more to you than hockey. You’re not stupid.”
“No one else said that.”
“Everyone around you back then was interested in you succeeding in hockey. They were going to make money if you did or hoped for some fame or whatever. They didn’t look past the player part. But if someone does, there’s a lot there. Trust me, I wouldn’t have gone out with you if playing hockey was all you had to offer.”
I looked away for a moment, afraid of what she might see on my face. Katie had been different. She’d made me believe I was smarter and could do more. She didn’t care about hockey. She’d cared about me.
I’d been so stupid to give that up. To give her up. If she’d wanted to end things when high school was over, well, I couldn’t do anything about that. But I’d thrown it away when maybe we could have made it.
She stood, putting my foot back on the stool, and I missed that contact, even through my sweats.
“But we’re not going to dwell on something that isn’t a real concern. Someone else will play tonight, but they won’t play as well as you would. And you’re going to be winging on the first line soon enough. Eat.”
She was right. My career wasn’t over with this little injury. I’d been lucky not to be seriously hurt previously, and I was overreacting. Even if I didn’t start on the first line when I got back on the ice, I’d make my way there.
I was short for a hockey player, and I hadn’t been drafted till the second round because the experts all thought I couldn’t maintain my game at the top level. I’d shown them. I’d made it to the NHL, made it to the top line, made it to game six of the finals.
I’d do it again. And I’d work just as hard to get Katie back. No matter what anyone else thought, she was good for me. The best. And I’d learn to be the best for her too.
Fitch’s words echoed. I’d have to do things differently this time. Last time, I’d been worried about making it in hockey since I was short and not as bulky as a lot of players. I’d overcome that by being fast and taking hits and shaking them off. This time, I’d make her more of a priority.
And here I was, when I finally had Katie with me, complaining again, being insecure. Enough of that. “So, what’s up with your family and school and everything?”
Katie’s eyebrows flew up, but she allowed me to change the subject. “Nora had a boy—Garret, and he’s adorable. He’s almost five, and she’s pregnant again.” Katie had a warm smile on her face. I bet she loved her nephew and was good with him. She had lots of patience. “Nora loves her kid and her partner, so they’re good. She switched to a nursing program, and I think she’s almost done.”
I cocked my head. “So, you graduated first? Like, from college?”
She nodded, head lifting. She was proud of that. Bet her parents were too.
“First college graduate in the family, right?”
“Yep. The whole family came out, took a bazillion pictures, had a party.”
“That’s great. And now you’re…”
“Next step is master’s. Then PhD.”
“You’ll be Dr. Baker.”
“Yep. I’m in applied mathematics, finance. But I’ve also thought I’d like to teach.”
