“She will. I don’t know when, but yeah. If she wants to come, I definitely want her here.”
“I don’t think there’s room for the two of us.”
She wanted me to choose between them? Was she manipulating me? I wasn’t choosing between them, I just wasn’t choosing to leave Katie like she wanted. “That’s your decision. But Katie is part of my life now, and I hope for a long, long time to come.”
She paused, waiting for something. For me to say I’d make Katie stay away so Mom could be here? Katie had never done anything like that, had she? She’d told me Mom didn’t like her, which was true, and said it was because Mom wanted me to need her.
“We should probably talk, you and me and Katie. So we all get along.” There had to be a way for that to work, no matter what my teammates thought.
“I’m going back to my hotel room.”
And she left.
Katie
I couldn’t sleep. Way too much going on in my head.
My brain still wanted to pick over the same arguments. I was confident that Josh and I had a trust strong enough that he wouldn’t believe his mother. At least not without talking to me first. But the longer things went on without hearing from him, the more I worried, and my old insecurities tried to push forward.
I should have asked Daniel when he was giving Josh his phone, but I was kind of afraid to check with him in case he told me Josh already had his phone and hadn’t reached out. What had his mother told him? Had she told him I’d been there? Did he think I hadn’t cared and couldn’t be bothered? That I would abandon him if he was injured? I’d left him my tablet, but had she hidden it? Thrown it away? Would she convince him we were better apart again?
Maybe I should just get up and go over there. Sure, it was the middle of the night and visiting hours were over, and he was in a private, secure room, but I could use that message from Daniel again, probably.
But if Josh had his phone and hadn’t reached out…
I did fall asleep at some point and ignored my alarm. I woke up with cramps, so I knew pregnancy wasn’t an issue, but it wasn’t the relief I’d expected. There were still so many things to consider, and this was not the time. I barely managed to pull a comb through my hair and brush my teeth before I had to rush out the door to proctor an exam.
I arrived just in time to get everything set up. This prof was giving an old-school exam for this group of students, so I had to gather phones before giving out paper exams. The students complained, but it was part of some research he was doing about how students responded to different test settings. There was another exam in the next room with the same questions but on computers, and they’d compare the results.
My job was to sit up front observing, with occasional trips around the room to make sure no one was using contraband. There’d been a calculator provided with each paper, but no internet access. I had confiscated a couple of smartwatches on the desk with the phones.
Once everyone was settled in and I’d done an initial lap, I sat behind the desk at the front of the room, watching everyone else frantically at work. My brain started right back at my problems: school and Josh.
One student moved her hand, and her ring flashed. Diamond, left hand, ring finger. She was an older student. Maybe she’d already had a family and was now going back to school. Was that a better path? It was working for Nora.
I scanned the room again.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I checked that the students were busy with their exams and decided to walk around again before I sneaked a look. I didn’t have the restrictions they had, but it seemed wrong for me to do it when they couldn’t. Everyone was still busy. It was early enough in the time slot that no one was close to finishing yet.
I carefully slipped my phone out of my bag as I sat down and set it on the desk. I tapped the screen with a finger and glanced down, stomach starting to hula when I saw it was a message from Josh.
Just got my phone. I’m okay. Will talk later. Love you.
I covered my mouth with my hand, afraid to let my squeak disturb the students. Daniel must have brought his stuff over this morning. If his mother had said anything, it hadn’t convinced him to be done with me. And, love you.
He hadn’t said that since before we broke up, all those years ago. Was it just a sign-off that didn’t mean anything, or was it what he felt? Knowing Josh, yeah. I’d suspected we were both as committed now as we’d been back then. I had a hard time holding in the grin that wanted to cross my face. Not appropriate when proctoring an exam.
I checked the room again. Everyone was fine.
I still wasn’t sure about my future here, beyond this semester, and I was even more eager to talk to him. We had a lot to work out. Where did we go from here?
Josh was injured and might not play again. Or he might have a lot of rehab to do. Could he be traded while he was injured? How would that work with my education? Assuming things didn’t go terribly with the math department chair.
And if they did?
As if I’d conjured her up with my thoughts, the phone buzzed again with an answer from Dr. Marsden, the math chair. She wanted to meet with me on Friday.
Shit was getting real.
