Chapter Eighteen
In the morning light,the world had rearranged itself with nothing the same as before.
When she’d entered Liam’s bedroom, Catriona knew what was going to happen, what she wanted to happen, and on that front, there wasn’t a single regret in her mind. Under the cover of night, she’d explored more human nature than she ever believed possible.
Not that she’d been entirely ignorant, but beyond pleasure, there was something else she’d experienced, which was the deepening of the connection she between her and Liam.
If she were honest with herself, something was being woven between them, on her side at least. Nestled in his warm embrace, their bodies limp after exploring several aspects of the fire between them, Catriona wanted more.
Did infatuation blind her? It was a possibility, but she’d followed her heart from as far back as she could remember, and it had never led her on the wrong path. However, there was one stark truth that halted everything: he’d agreed to provide his body for her explorations, but he wouldn’t be the one that steered her away from God. Catriona knew his decision was colored by what happened to his mother, the pain was still clearly etched in his eyes when he hinted at it. And another question was if she wanted to stray away herself from a path she’d believed the right one.
Her heart thumped faster at the thought, and she didn’t know if it was due to the fear of leaving the convent, or the possibility of choosing a path that led to Liam. Liam Harker, a policeman, a man of honor, a man whose soul was riddled with scars from a father he wished to see dead. A true bastard as he’d told her once. A man who’d mostly turned his back to God to pursue a quest that would only end to death.
All this was true, but when she looked into his eyes, how he acted, there was no deception in him. He’d cared about her when he made love to her. He was worried when he admitted to not using protection, and she noticed something more in his silver eyes that he hadn’t had time to conceal from her, a longing that he quickly erased from his face. Often, she noticed it when he was looking at her, that longing that drew her even closer to him. Despite his pain, sorrows, anger; those parts of him didn’t repel her. Her heart and soul longed for those brief instances of light she saw in him, still alive and fighting against the darkness. He didn’t need saving, he was in a battle to save himself, and all she wanted was to be by his side, as she was now. Nestled in his arms in the peaceful afterglow, Catriona felt as if in the most profound meditation, and prayed for guidance.
Liam stirred and buried his nose in her hair, closing his arms around her. “Good morning, my gorgeous angel. And Merry Christmas.”
How she loved his voice when it was scratchy from sleep and tinted with relaxed joy.
Before she could answer back, wallowing in this pure joy of smiling back at him, a persistent buzzing sound came from the bedside table.
With a growl that Liam probably wanted to sound menacing but wasn’t, he let go of her and rolled to pick up his phone. One quick look had him sighing before rolling back into place. “It’s just a text from Deva, telling me to get you and head for breakfast as everybody is conscripted for some Christmas thing.”
He put his hands behind his head, and Catriona was certain he was pouting, not that she would dare tell him that.
“It’s Christmas after all. I know you don’t really like holidays.”
Liam snorted but didn’t say more, which made her want to pry. However, she could guess why a holiday filled with family, peace, and love could hurt a man who never experienced it as a child and then pushed it out of his mind to avoid remembering what he missed.
“Since you’ve met your brothers, don’t you want to spend time with them, be together as a family?”
With a groan, he pulled back his arm and took her hand. “We’re still learning how to be with each other outside of plotting to bring down our father. We’re so different. I fear once our mission is done, we won’t have anything strong enough to keep us together.”
“You’re family, of course you’ll remain close.”
“Bastard brothers, sons of a psychopath. Our relationship is hanging by a thread. I have no illusions.”
The man was genuinely hurting, wanting a family, however dysfunctional. Bonds were always hard to form, but Catriona believed that anything was possible.
“I think we should get out of bed and join the others for breakfast.”
Liam blinked and gave her a sly smile. “I’d prefer to stay in bed with you.”
Her heart sped up at the idea. “Raincheck until a bit later? If there is a later?”
She sounded a bit hesitant, but that was how she felt about everything with him. And part of her didn’t want to force him, rush him into something he didn’t want, or assume anything.
His energy changed, becoming lighter. “I want an encore. I want more of you, of us.”
He sealed his words with a kiss that promised so much more. It would’ve been so easy to lean in and burn again, but she wanted to see him smile more first, so she skipped out of bed before he could convince her otherwise. Quickly wrapping her blushing nakedness with a throw, she waved at him.
“Quick, get up. I’m starving. And I want to enjoy Christmas festivities with you and your family.”
* * *
Catriona knewit would take some work, but the bastard brothers were turning a simple Christmas gathering into a teeth-gritting challenge.
Archer, dressed in his three-piece suit, looked anything but relaxed and poor Zoe was trying her best to make him put down his phone, if only for a minute, with Julia babbling on her hip. Sam didn’t even bother to show up.
