Once the towel was on his knee, she placed the bag of frozen vegetables over it. She was right, it wasn’t as comfortable or offered as much coverage as peas, but the cold began to numb the area, providing blessed relief. Inch by inch, his body relaxed and his head cleared.
A muffled sound by his side made him glance and he saw Catriona on her knees, looking at the long scar that marred his lower thigh. Her fingers hovered over it, hesitating, and for an instant, he smiled, considering making her jump, but quickly discarded the idea. Instead, he looked at her as she observed him, probably unaware too. Her beautiful face showed so many expressions, especially compassion and pain for him.
“I thought it was your knee that was hurt.”
“No, the bullet entered just above it, but tore several ligaments, impacting the knee.” His low voice sounded way too intimate, and he searched his mind to find another topic, any other, but his mind blanked when her fingertips touched the raised skin.
At the contact of her cool fingers, his breath halted. There wasn’t any pain on the scar itself, he barely felt the pressure, but it was the sight of her touching him, so carefully, with a fascination he’d never expected from her, that was intense. He swallowed hard and kept talking, making sure to keep his voice technical. “I had two surgeries to do repairs, but the pain hasn’t gone. The doctors said that it might take a lot of time as they can’t do anything more for me. That’s if it ever returns to normal.”
His last sentence made her turn her head, her doe eyes on him with evident worry. “You mean that you may limp and suffer like this forever? That’s unfair! You were working and trying to help!”
Her outrage made him grin. “Tell your boss, little nun. He’s the one who is unfair, or I did some pretty ugly things in my life that required punishment.”
Back on her haunches, her compassionate worry turned into contained annoyance. “Stop calling me that! I told you, I’m not a nun yet. I’ve only said temporary vows.”
Liam searched his mind for what he could remember from his religion courses when he was a kid in Ireland, but all he could come up with was the image of the nuns dressed in their habits and teaching at school.
“Gabrielle said you were a nun, called you Sister.”
Catriona shook her head with a sigh. “That’s her thing, she’s been teasing me with it since we worked together a couple of years ago when I’d just become a novitiate. When you become a novitiate, they use the name Sister. And I distinctly remember telling you I wasn’t a nun yet.”
“Novitiate? Isn’t the step just before they shut the door on you?”
He liked how she looked at him as if he were a wayward child playing tricks on her.
“There is one step before the perpetual vows, which are the final and definitive ones, and they’re called temporary vows. Temporary vows are when you first profess the vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity.”
Something balled in his stomach. “And you haven’t said those final vows yet. Why?” As soon as the question crossed his lips, it was clear he’d no right to ask, but having her so close, with his body tiring from the pain, he couldn’t help himself.
Just as he was about to tell her that he was being a jerk, and not to answer him, she started to speak.
“It’s the only life I’ve ever known, or more accurately, the only family I ever had. I know it sounds stupid, especially in this day and age, but I grew up surrounded by wonderful women who happened to be nuns. They cared for me, brought me up as a family didn’t adopt me. They encouraged me to pursue my studies and education, supporting me all the way. I always straddled the line, one foot in the religious world, and one in the secular one, especially since I finished university and was asked to consult on so many projects and investigations. The Vatican was quick to ask me for help. I traveled a lot, although I always considered the convent as my one and only home. They did so much for me, how could I consider having any other life apart from them?”
It was the first time he sensed any real struggle inside her. From the very first moment he’d seen her, he’d only seen peace and a naive certainty on her face that was both refreshing and attractive. Maybe too much so.
“It’s one thing to be loyal, another completely to follow the route you’re supposed to. Even if part of me loathed her, my loyalty remains with the woman who gave me birth, even if she hated the very sight of me. But I knew being taken from her and brought here was my true calling. I’m at peace with that. If nothing else pulls you away from that world, if you find peace with that calling of yours, you do not need to doubt your decision.”
Her golden honey irises flicked to him. “And if I’m starting to have doubts? Is it a test from God, or Him opening a door and showing me another way?”
Even if his mind went blank, unable to guess where she was going, although he wanted to offer her advice, Liam swallowed hard, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’ve never asked myself such profound questions. My only guide is my gut feeling, and the hope it’s where He might be guiding me.”
Solemn, Catriona nodded at him. “It makes sense. Thank you, Liam.”
As if he’d held his breath for an eternity, Liam exhaled and relaxed. His mind was playing tricks on him, or maybe it was his body going too easily into overdrive where that woman was concerned.
He had a filthy mind that had no place dirtying Catriona’s, even in imagination. Working very hard at being a decent man, all his honorable thoughts were smashed to dust when Catriona pushed up and put her lips upon his.
