“You’re wrong.” The finality in his voice was heart-wrenching.
“I know I’m not. The proof is your late wife. A woman loved you enough to marry you and have a child with you. I trust her judgment.”
As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she regretted them. Not that she didn’t believe every one of them, but Zoe suspected it was the sorest, most tender part of his soul. Even if what she’d said was positive.
For a brief instant, so brief Zoe knew if she had blinked, she would have missed it, it was like Archer carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and in his heart. It was a quick, but intense, moment. Zoe couldn’t help it when she reached for his hand. Simply placing hers on top of his.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” And the moment was gone. Back was the hard man, cold and strong. Convinced he would change the subject, Zoe was preparing another apology, when he spoke.
“She never wanted to listen to me. I told her about my past, about my dealings, the violence surrounding me, the blood on my hands... she wouldn’t listen. A girl like her, rich, pure, with a heart of gold, should never have fallen for a damn cold-blooded bastard like me. That’s what got her killed.”
The way he stared at his hands, made Zoe ache for him. In a gesture of support, she took them in her hands. “You didn’t kill your wife. You took care of her, you loved her...”
“What do you know about it!” His tone had turned harsh and defensive. At first, she thought he would jerk away from her touch, but instead he squeezed harder, to the point of bruising. “If I hadn’t loved her, wanted a baby with her, she would still be alive! Still breathing and walking this earth!”
“And maybe falling for a man who wouldn’t have loved her or taken care of her the way you did. Maybe a stupid selfish guy, who would have beaten her up every day, twice on Sundays. A man who would have bashed his children too, to the point they would prefer to die instead of living like that? Would that have been better? You never know what destiny would have handed you if you had rolled the dice a second time. I know for a fact, that I would have rather died in the womb of a mother who cherished me from a father who loved me than living a life in the hell I was granted.”
The deadly hold lessened, and she removed her hands, trying to rein back the memories she had let out. Forcing a smile, she straightened. “You had love in your life, and even if you struggled and battled through some tough times, you had a choice to do something with it. Grabbing that power. I will never judge you for the decisions you made, that path on the dark side. I would have done the same thing. Hell, I’m doing it right now. At least love brought you back. You always have a choice, Archer. Never forget that.”
