Aleksei’s face darkened, but he didn’t pull away.
“Nothing happened with Damon. It was all fake. But what I felt for you, how it developed, how important you became to me, it’s all my heart. I should have knocked some sense into you when you reacted so badly to my deal with Damon. How many times do you think I’ve ever said those words to a single living soul? Never! You assumed things, awful things, without even giving me a chance to explain. Especially when I had confessed my feelings for you. I loved you. What else was there to doubt or understand?”
Exhaling, Aleksei dropped his head, defeated. “You used the past tense. Have I smothered the love you had for me?”
Deva let her arms drop to her side. “I will love you forever. I just wish you could have loved me in return.”
His entire body shivered violently before he gradually lifted his head.
“Did you ever find out whatsolnyshkameans?”
Deva felt disoriented for a moment at his question, but she wrapped her mind around the words. “I don’t have a clue how to write it. And as sometimes you made it sound like an insult, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it meant.”
It was his turn to cup her cheeks, with his rough fingers tracing weird patterns over her skin.
“It means, ‘little sun’; my little sun. Because it’s how I saw you when you first came to the gym. Light was pouring behind you, like a halo. And in that instant, you fascinated me. My hands itched to touch your hair. I’d never felt like that before, and it terrified me.”
And he did exactly that, twirling a curl or two with his fingers, entranced. Deva couldn’t move.
“My entire life, I fought shadows and lies. And when I saw you, I found myself hoping... I wanted your light, Deva. I craved it to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I wanted you, I needed you. And that night, when you told me you loved me... I knew I felt as deeply too. Irrevocably. I love you. If you’ll have me.”
Deva stared at Aleksei, flooded by so many strong emotions, she couldn’t respond. While he waited, Aleksei appeared so tense, it made her shake her head in amazement. Would he always be that intense? Most probably, but only with her, and in the cage. And who was she to judge when her feelings were just as intense as his.
Aleksei must have misinterpreted her gesture for rejection, his emotions swiftly hiding behind his usual fierce mask, but not before Deva saw devastating pain. Ever so slowly, he started pushing away from her, as if the movement itself was the most strenuous effort he had done in his life. His fingers trailed in her hair, and as he was about to let his hand drop to his side, Deva took it in hers.
“If I tell you, what I truly feel for you, will you believe me this time? And most importantly, I want you to respect and honor my decision, Aleksei. No more letters or threats. Can you do this one thing for me?”
He nodded, and Deva felt almost guilty for doing it, but he had to see her for who she really was.
“It’s too late.”
Even if the man before her didn’t move an inch, she knew him enough to feel the misery pulsing through his entire body.
“It’s too late, Aleksei because when I fell in love with you, there was no going back for me. And it never will.”
It took a moment for him to digest the words, and Deva knew the precise moment when he did. His hand squeezed hers to the point of pain before he pushed her against the door and kissed her.
Elation flowed through her veins, and Deva fisted his black hair as hard as he was gripping her waist, holding her so tight against him until there was no telling where his body began and where hers ended.
When Aleksei finally resurfaced for air, he cupped the back of her head, breathing hard as if he had been running a mile a minute. Eye to eye, their shared breath mingling, he finally spoke again, his tone between relief and threat.
“I think I aged a century, Deva. Never do that to me again.”
Deva smiled and poked his muscled chest. “Well, mister, you’ll have to get used to it. So far, you’ve seen me all serious and solemn, but I’m quite quirky in real life.”
Aleksei arched an eyebrow in disbelief. “Quirky?”
Deva nodded. “Yes. And stubborn, and difficult. I love to laugh and be silly sometimes. I’m bad at housework, and I often forget to pay my bills. Or put gas in my car.”
Aleksei kept touching her but this time grinned. “Why are you telling me that?”
Deva cupped his face. “To tell you that I’m no prize. That I have faults and quirks that may or may not annoy you. I’m not complicated, but I have non-negotiables in my life. All that comes with me.”
“And what are they? Your non-negotiables?” He bit his fascinating lips, but Deva wasn’t finished yet and unwilling to be distracted.
“I can’t and never will agree to be tied to any organization, syndicate, mob, or MC. I agreed to help Damon, but only so balance could be restored. I know I cannot completely step out of that world, but I’m against any form of permanent alliance. If your aim is the Bratva, we end here.”
Aleksei nodded. “What else?”
