“But that doesn’t mean they can’t hurt him,” I argue. Wedged between the men, I try to make myself as small as I can, I don’t want to accidentally touch either of them. I don’t want to set Axel off anymore than I already have. “We need to make a different plan. We need to stop this. Once and for all.”
“Shut. Up,” Axel growls, his face whipping to me, he stares down his nose at me. “Do you know what they would do to you, Sunday? If we use you as bait, if they catch you. They won’t just kill you, they will torture you,rapeyou. They will take all that they can from your flesh and when you wish for more than anything to die, they’ll keep you alive even longer.”
Axel’s words have the opposite effect than he intends. “So that’s what they’ve been doing to all the missing girls?”
“Convince her!” Axel opens the truck door, slamming it shut behind him as he stomps into the house.
“He’s right,” Grayson says. “You can’t be the bait, Sunday. You will be hurt.”
“I mean, I’ve died ninety-nine times. Why does it matter if I’m hurtagain.” I flex my fingers out on my lap, wiping the sweat on my shorts, and attempt to steal my nerves. “The FBI opened a case, the woman isn’t going to stop until she finds her daughter.”
“Then they can use someoneelsefor bait. They can figure it out. You aren’t an agent, a detective, or anything else. You are a teenage girl.”
“Am I though?” I ask. “Or am I nearly thirty at this point? Do we not count all of the lives I’ve lived only when it is convenient?”
“You’re stubborn,” Grayson groans. “And purposefully so. Completely and intentionallybullheaded.”
I reach up to him, prying his fingers from the steering wheel, I twist until I am facing him as best I can and stare him in the eyes. “Grayson, I know you just want to keep me safe. But Darius doesn’t have anyone else. He is inside the monster’s lair, and we need to get him out. The FBI isn’t going to care about him. The Thornes would sooner use him as a decoy than let him go. Do you see any scenario where he leaves their home alive and free?”
Grayson reaches up tucking my hair behind my ears, one side at a time, but then his fingers linger on my face. He grips my chin with two fingers, forcing me to continue to watch him. “But what about you, Sunday? What if we went through all of this and then youdie. How can you expect any of us to survive that?” His voice is husky,broken. “And do you think Darius would want this? He made us promise to keep you protected, no matter what.”
He is asking impossible questions that I have no way of answering. I want to look away, to gather my thoughts, my mind, but he’s still holding me in place. “Grayson. I love you. All of you.” I press the shame down, that this isn’t right. I shouldn’t feel this way about the three of them. My dead boyfriend’s brothers. Three men. But I do. “I am in love with all of you. Even if I don’t remember everything you all have gone through, I can feel it.” I rub my hand against my chest.
He drops his hold on me, his breath coming out raggedly. “Sunday.” My name is a warning.
“Grayson.” I let go of all the air in my lungs. “I don’t want to lie to you all anymore. It didn’t get me anywhere before and it still won’t now. But here’s the truth of it. I need to do this. To rescue Darius.”
“But what if it’s that thread of fate? What if it is pulling you to another death?” Grayson is scrutinizing me, as if he can see all the lines of fate that wrap around us.
He might not be able to, but I can.
Ever since the phone, I am seeing more and more of them. Different colors, different levels of brightness, different directions. There’s one right now connecting him and I. It is purple and pulsating. The longer this conversation goes, the brighter it becomes.
Averting my attention from it, I return my gaze to him. “This is different, but you’re right. Fate is tugging me towards Darius, to the phone. And it feels familiar, similar to how it was when I chased after Julia. But now Iknowthat, doesn’t that mean we can change it? Doesn’t that mean we can rescue Darius? Doesn’t that mean we at least have totry?”
“But why do you have to be the bait, Sunday?”
Because my gut is telling me that I have to be. Because I owe it to all of you. Because even though loving all three of you is insane, I still do. Because it’s my fault Darius is in this mess.Because I can’t exist without Darius by our side. Because it hurts to breathe and each second away from Darius is like another piece of time is being stolen from us.
Because I deserve whatever happens to me.
But I don’t answer him with my words, instead I shift to my knees and throw myself at Grayson. My lips find his, and I can feel him freeze at first, but then he is kissing me back, his strong arms wrapping around us, tugging us even closer together.
He smells like salt, the ocean, and diesel. A marina. I love it. I crave it. I need more of him and it. I want Grayson to finally cross this unspoken line that we have, and I am now doing my best to shove him past it. But then my head hits the glass of the truck and we break apart.
Falling back on my knees, I rub the spot I bumped and look up at him through my lashes.
“You okay?” Grayson quirks his lips, he’s trying not to laugh.
“Is it weird?” I ask instead of answering.
He cocks his head.
“Isn’t it weird that I want to be with you all? That whatever this is between us…what if…what if one of you decides it’s too much?” Insecurity has decided to gnash its ugly teeth into me. After all, even with the trauma, the depression, the endless loops, Grayson is right. I am a teenage girl.
Even if I forget that myself.
Grayson laughs. I don’t expect it and my face heats in embarrassment.
