‘Does this look like someone who isn’t having fun?’ I reply.
‘You still seem pretty hung up on whether or not he and Nikki cheated on us,’ he points out, swiping cushions from the sofa.
‘Well, yeah,’ I reply, throwing the faux lemons around. ‘I don’t want to look silly.’
He smirks at me. Okay, that’s an arguably hilarious thing to say when you’re lobbing plastic lemons around. I throw one at him.
‘I don’t like being made a fool of,’ I say instead. ‘It’s not about wanting him back – I just want to make him feel as shit as I did.’
‘All I’m saying is, energy spent on the right things is never wasted,’ he tells me. ‘But some people are just dicks. They don’t deserve your energy or your effort, good or bad.’
I cock my head curiously.
‘That’s awfully profound, for a?—’
I don’t quite get to finish my compliment-insult because we can hear Todd and Nikki, behind the door, about to come in.
‘Shit,’ I whisper.
What do we do? I could throw myself at him, push him back onto the sofa, make them think they’ve walked in on the main event – but the two sets of underwear don’t make sense. Why would it be on the floor and on us? It’s perfect staging if we’re not here. It’s a plot hole if we are.
Brody’s eyes widen. We’re on the wrong side of the room – way too far from our bedroom door to make it before they walk in. They’ll see us.
‘Quick, this way,’ Brody says, taking me by the hand.
He drags me out onto the balcony, sliding the door shut just in time. Well, almost shut, he leaves it open just enough for us to hear.
The balcony isn’t that big and there isn’t really anywhere to hide thanks to the patio doors. With just a small wall space on each side, Brody pushes me up against the wall, before pressing his body against mine.
Oof, now that’s good staging.
I try to ignore the fact that my heart is beating faster – it’s probably the fear of being caught. Nothing else.
Inside, we hear Todd and Nikki storm in.
They’re chatting until they see the scene we’ve set for them. Then they fall silent for a moment.
‘Oh my God – ew, ew, ew,’ Nikki says. ‘They’re like animals.’
‘What have they been doing in here?’ Todd asks.
‘Oh my God, that’s a thong – ew, Todd, we know exactly what they’ve been doing in here,’ she replies.
Mission: Accomplished.
‘But Jessa was never?—’
‘Todd! Can we not,’ Nikki snaps at him.
I blush a little. Was Todd about to say that I was never adventurous in the bedroom? I mean, we weren’t exactly setting the bed on fire, but his match was one of those little ones you get in books, not those big bad boys that take longer to burn through. If y’know what I mean.
Not me blushing because I care that Brody heard him say that. I’m not boring. Would a boring girl be pinned to a wall, in her underwear, by a professional sportsman – the bad boy of cricket, no less? I don’t think so.
Brody’s face is so close to mine I can see all the little flecks of colour in his eyes, even in this dim light. I can feel his breathtickling my lips, almost like a preview of what his lips might feel like. I don’t know, it’s like there’s this tension between us, this electricity – bloody hell, even I’m falling for it now. This is an act. I’m faking it, he’s faking it, and we’re doing such a good job that it feels real, even here on the inside.
Eventually, we hear Todd muttering something about ‘sleeping in the bloody casino if they hear a peep from us’ before their bedroom door slams shut.
Brody pulls back slightly, still grinning.
