“Yes. I don't care what happens to my parents. I don't care about their empire or their power or their money. I never did. Let Phoenix take it all. Let him destroy everything they built. I don't care." I look up at Jenna. "I only ever cared about Brigit. Everything I've done, every humiliation I've endured, every compromise I've made, it’s all been for her. To keep her safe. And now…"
My voice breaks as fresh tears come. "Now I've failed her. Phoenix is going to kill her to punish me, and she'll never even know I'm her mother."
Jenna stares at me, her mouth slightly open in shock. I can see the wheels turning behind her eyes as she processes what I've just confessed.
“Phoenix won’t harm a child. He won’t kill you, either.” She’s trying to soothe me just like I tried to do with Brigit.
“You don’t know that.”
She takes my hand. “She doesn’t know you’re her mother?”
I shake my head. "No one knows except my parents." I wipe furiously at my tears. "My parents forced me to hide it. They were going to marry me off to someone else, make a profitable alliance. They couldn’t try to pass me off as a virgin if I were a mother."
She squeezes my hand. "That's why you never married anyone else."
"I couldn't leave her. And I couldn't tell anyone the truth. So I stayed, playing their games, pretending she wasn't mine while loving her more than my own life."
“If you’ve never been with anyone…” Realization comes to her eyes. “Oh… she’s Phoenix’s daughter too?”
I grip both her hands with mine. “You can’t tell anyone. Not even Blaise. Promise you won’t say a word. I don’t know what he’ll do if he finds out.”
"But Phoenix is her father," Jenna says softly. "Don't you think he has a right to know?"
"The Phoenix I knew ten years ago? Yes. But this man?" I shake my head vigorously. "You should have seen his face when they brought Nanny Fiona and Brigit in. He’s in the middle of proving his dominance. He can’t let this pass without risking looking weak." Another wave of nausea hits as I think about what he could do. And I brought this on. This is all my fault.
“How come you didn’t tell him when you found out you were pregnant?”
"Before I could tell him, my father discovered my secret. He locked me in my room, cut off all contact. A few days later, they told me Phoenix and his family were dead." I cover my face with my hands as if that will stop the memories. “My father threatened to force me to terminate the pregnancy, but I fought them on that. The baby was all I had left of Phoenix. My parents agreed to let me have her and keep her as long as no one knew the truth.”
"That's monstrous," Jenna whispers.
"All these years, they've used Brigit to keep me in line. Every time I threatened to leave, they reminded me that they had legal custody. That I had no rights to my own daughter."
“Maybe now is the time to tell the truth. Whatever Phoenix has become, I don't believe he'd harm Brigit, especially if he knew she was his daughter."
I shake my head, unconvinced. "You didn't know him before. The change in him… He's capable of anything now."
"I've seen how Blaise looks at him when Phoenix goes too far," Jenna insists. "His brothers keep him in check. And youshould have seen how protective he was of Hannah when she was hurt."
"That's different. Hannah is family. Brigit is…" I swallow hard. "In his eyes, she's a Kean."
Jenna takes my hands in hers. "Except she’s an Ifrinn too.”
I pull my hands away and rise from the bed, not needing her support if she’s going to betray me. And of course she will. Her first duty is to Blaise, whose first duty is to Phoenix. “Are you willing to risk my life… Brigit’s life on that? He’s down there executing men who he feels betrayed him. What will knowing about Brigit prove except that I’ve betrayed him? And being raised as a Kean, he’ll see her as being like me and my parents.” My voice is shrill and desperate.
She stands, looking at me with sympathy. “Okay. I promise I won't tell anyone about Brigit." She squeezes my fingers. "But I think you should consider telling Phoenix yourself. When things calm down."
I laugh bitterly. "When will that be? After he's finished destroying everything and everyone I care about?"
"I know it seems impossible right now," she says. "But the man you loved is still in there somewhere. I've seen glimpses of him.” She gives me a hug. "Try to rest. I'll check on Brigit for you."
"Thank you. Please make sure she's okay." I can’t imagine how terrified she is. “Tell her I’m okay.”
Jenna nods and moves toward the door. “I will.” She opens the door, and my world stops. Blaise stands in the doorway. His eyes flick from Jenna to me, then back again.
"How long have you been standing there?" Jenna asks.
“Long enough.”
