I shake my head as I turn my coffee cup in my hand. “That ship has sailed for me and Phoenix.”
All eyes are on me.
“Ash said that he thought you and Phoenix once… before…”
“Blaise thought so too.”
“And Flint.” Lucy looks at me with sharp eyes. “Phoenix has never said anything, but after the display at dinner?—”
So much for the secret we thought we were keeping. And I’m wondering if this is what this little outing is about. "Is that why you're all here? To report back to your husbands about me?"
Lucy frowns.
"Phoenix sends his brothers' wives to befriend me three days before our wedding. One of whom happens to be a journalist. What am I supposed to think?"
Lucy has the grace to look embarrassed. "I'm not on assignment, if that's what you're asking."
"But you'll tell Phoenix what I say," I press. “Or tell your husbands who will tell Phoenix.”
“We won’t tell them anything that will hurt you,” Jenna says.
“But we won’t keep anything from them that could hurt them,” Lucy says, fierce protection of her husband in her tone.
Hannah puts her hand over mine. “It was Phoenix’s idea that we be bridesmaids, and I don’t know if that’s to be nice or he thinks we’ll get information. I know for my part that I want to be your friend and sister-in-law.”
It occurs to me that at one point Hannah was to marry Ronan, which would have made her my sister-in-law then too.
Jenna nods in earnest. “We’re not here to spy. We really do want to support you.”
“Especially if Phoenix is going to continue to be an asshole,” Lucy finishes.
I can’t help but laugh at that. “He wasn’t always like that.” And just like that, I’m sharing my history with them. I can’t say why. I don't fully trust them, and yet, I desperately want their friendship and support.
"Phoenix and I were young. I was eighteen and he was twenty-one, home for the summer from college. Our families were friendly then, or at least that’s what it seemed like.” For a moment, I’m transported to the night it all started for me and Phoenix. “His family was hosting a charity ball. Mrs. Ifrinn did a great deal to help the community. Phoenix asked me to dance, and I remember thinking he was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. Dark hair, those blue eyes…" I trail off, lost for a moment.
“The Ifrinns do have it in the looks department,” Lucy says.
“Did he feel the same?” Hannah asks, her eyes a little wistful at my story.
“It felt like it. I mean, it was like instant. Like my soul was tied to his. But we had to keep it a secret. I know you think it’s old-fashioned, Lucy, but our world has rules including that I couldn’t be with a man except for one my father chose. Phoenix’s father wouldn’t approve either?—”
“What? Why?” Jenna’s brow knits together.
“Mr. Ifrinn would have wanted Phoenix to marry someone who strengthened their position, and my family wouldn’t do that. And I think by then, there was tension between them. I suspect Mr. Ifrinn had something personal against my father, who was likely pushing back and openly challenging him.”
"So you snuck around," Hannah says, leaning forward.
"Yes." I twist my napkin between my fingers. "Secret meetings in the library at his family's estate. Notes passed through trusted staff. My father got suspicious and so would lock me in my room, but Phoenix taught me how to pick locks and how to climb down a trellis without breaking my neck."
Hannah smiles. "That sounds romantic."
"It was." The ache in my chest intensifies. "We were so careful, but when you're that young and that in love… well, we probably weren’t as discreet as we thought we were being. My father found out." I don’t mention the pregnancy. That secret will now go with me to my grave.
The women exchange glances.
"What happened?" Jenna asks gently.
"My parents locked me away. Took my phone, my computer, everything. They posted guards around me 24/7 so I couldn’t sneak away. I couldn’t even warn Phoenix that my father knew." My voice catches. "The next thing I heard, the Ifrinn estate had burned down with everyone inside."
