Ten years ago, I was a different person, naive, hopeful, desperately in love with a boy who looked at me like I hung the moon. Now that boy is a man who looks at me with contempt yet still wants to possess me.
The kiss we shared burns on my lips even now. For a moment, I felt the Phoenix I once knew and oh, how I wanted to sink into him again. But the man I loved is gone. The man who kissed me tonight is the one who sought to humiliate me, so of course I had to push him away. My dignity is all I have left.
I’ll play his games. I’ll be his obedient bride. I’ll stand by his side while he consolidates power over the families of Boston. I know my place in this twisted arrangement. I have no power here except what I can carve out through small acts of defiance. Through maintaining my dignity when he tries to strip it away.
But I'm not without strength. I proved that tonight. If Phoenix thinks I'll crumble completely under his thumb, he's underestimated me. I may have agreed to marry him, but I haven't surrendered my soul.
I curl into my bed, pulling the covers tight around me. Sleep feels impossible with my mind racing through the events of tonight. The humiliation, the accusations, the painful reminder of who Phoenix has become, a stranger wearing the face of someone I once loved.
In the quiet darkness, another memory surfaces. The look in Blaise and Flint’s eyes when Phoenix was parading me around in that dress. Unlike their brother and all the other men, there was no crass comment or lewd stares. Instead I saw concern and disapproval.
During dinner, Blaise had caught my gaze across the table, his expression softening for just a moment. Somethinglike regret flickered across his features before he masked it. And I caught Flint frowning at Phoenix more than once, his condemnation evident in the tight set of his jaw.
They're different from him. They haven't let hatred consume them entirely. I wonder why? Is it because they found true love? Phoenix had true love, or at least that’s what I thought we had.
I press my face into the pillow, tears threatening.What happened to you, Phoenix?He’s alive and yet, the man I knew is dead. He died the night my parents took everything from him.
My parents. How I hate them for what they've done. Not just to the Ifrinns, but to me. To Brigit. They've stolen so much from all of us with their greed and ambition. They destroyed everything. Ruined the man I loved. Forced me to give up being the mother of my own child. All for what? Power? Money? Reputation?
The bitter irony doesn't escape me. My parents schemed and murdered to secure their position, only to end up prisoners in their own basement, waiting for the police to take them away. I’m not sorry for it. They deserve to go to jail. But I resent that I’m the one Phoenix will torture for the rest of my life in punishment for their acts.
And then there’s Brigit. If Phoenix discovers who she really is, that she's his child, what would he do? Would he use her as another weapon against me? Or worse, would he take her from me completely?
I need to get Brigit somewhere safe as soon as possible. But how? I consider the tablet that Phoenix let me have to plan the wedding. I could research boarding schools to send her to. But nothing is truly private on these devices. Whatever I type, whatever sites I visit, Phoenix could have someone monitoring everything. Technology leaves traces that can't be completely erased. I’m surprised no one has mentioned finding my hidden business on my laptop. It’s all in the cloud, but I’m sure anyonewith any tech knowledge could access it and figure out I’ve been squirreling away money.
I should have taken Brigit and run sooner. Or placed her for adoption when I had the chance. I was selfish in wanting to keep her with me and now she’s in danger. If Phoenix discovers I'm trying to send Brigit away, what would he do? To her? To me? To Nanny Fiona?
But I can’t risk having her grow up in a home filled with hate and retribution. I need to figure out a way to get her away. The wedding could be the best opportunity. The house will have guests and extra staff. Nanny Fiona could sneak away with her in the commotion.
I glance at the clock. Nearly midnight. Nanny Fiona's room sits just next to Brigit's, and I desperately need to speak with her about getting Brigit away from here. I push my covers back to go to her, but Phoenix's accusations echo in my mind. His jealous rage when he caught me in the hallway, his certainty that I was sneaking off to meet a lover. If he catches me again, especially after tonight's confrontation… I can’t risk that.
I roll onto my stomach, burying my face in the pillow to muffle my frustrated groan. I can’t talk to Nanny Fiona now, but I can make plans. Switzerland would be ideal for Brigit, far enough that Phoenix couldn't easily reach her, with schools that ask no questions when wealthy families need discretion. But getting her there requires documentation, transportation, money I can access without leaving electronic footprints.
Brigit's passport is in my father's safe. I know the combination, but reaching it means getting to his study undetected. I could send money ahead, although I’d want a device that Phoenix doesn’t know about to make the transfer.
A wild, desperate idea flashes through my mind as I stare at the ceiling. What if I just told Phoenix that Brigit needs to go to boarding school? I could frame it as what's best for hereducation, say she's been accepted to an exclusive program that would secure her future. I could even suggest it would keep her away from the ugliness of what's happening between our families. Or one less person for him to have to think about.
For one brief, hopeful moment, the plan seems perfect. Simple. Direct.
Then reality crashes down around me.
Phoenix would never allow it. Not now. Not when he's seen how much I care for Brigit. Not when he's discovered a perfect pressure point to control me.
If I suggested sending Brigit away, he'd immediately become suspicious. He'd wonder why I suddenly wanted my "god-sister" out of reach. He might start digging into who Brigit really is.
And if he found out…
My stomach twists with fear. Phoenix in his current state would use that information mercilessly. He'd either take her from me completely, my ultimate punishment, or use her as permanent leverage to ensure I never step out of line again.
No, I can't risk suggesting boarding school. I have to find another way, something that doesn't involve Phoenix's permission at all. Something he won't discover until it's too late to stop.
I slip from bed and find a piece of paper. I write down all the access information Nanny Fiona needs to access my accounts. I can’t just hand it to her without my guards noting it, so I slip it into a worn copy ofJane Eyreon my bookshelf hoping no one would think to search my room that thoroughly. As I put the book back on the shelf, I wonder how my life has become this cloak and dagger situation.
The next day,I head to Brigit’s rooms when I know she’s done with her homeschooling, a situation started nearly a year agowhen we started suffering attacks. I’d insisted that for her safety she needed to be educated at home. My parents went along with it not so much out of concern for Brigit or respect for me. Their minds were elsewhere and as long as we were out of their way, they were fine. I should have left then.
The guard Phoenix assigned to watch me shifts his weight by the doorway as I enter Brigit’s room. His presence is a constant reminder of my captivity, even as I'm allowed to move through the house.
“Keira!” Brigit’s eyes light up when she sees me. “Nanny Fiona says I did excellent on my fractions today."
