"It's complicated, sweetheart." I take her small hands in mine. "Sometimes, marriages aren't just about love. Sometimes, they're about bringing families together."
She frowns, processing this. "I like my books better.”
“I know.” I squeeze her hands gently. "But that doesn't mean it can't still have happy moments."
"Will you be happy?" Her question is so direct, so innocent, it nearly breaks me.
"I'll have you," I say, but inside, my heart breaks because I’m already planning to send her far away from Phoenix. “And that makes me happier than anything in the world."
Her nose wrinkles. “But why him? I don’t like him. He’s mean.”
"He wasn't always like that. A long time ago, he was different."
"Different how?" Brigit pulls her knees up to her chest, curious despite her aversion.
"He used to smile. He loved books and could quote poetry without even trying. He taught me how to pick locks and climb trees."
The words flow easier than I expected. Over the last twenty-four hours, I learned the man I loved was still alive, but not the man I remembered, and yet, the memories are still there, sweet and pure.
"He sounds like a different person," Brigit says skeptically.
"He was." I pause, wondering if in my youth and innocence, I saw what I wanted to see. Maybe he’s always been like this.
Brigit's small hand covers mine. "Are you sad?"
“Sometimes. But I have you, and that's all that matters."
She wraps her arms around me and I return the hug, savoring the warmth and innocence of my child. Of Phoenix’s child. Brigit is the beautiful living proof of what Phoenix and I once shared.
Ten years ago, when I discovered I was pregnant, I knew my parents would be angry, but I understood our world enough to know that my father would see it as an opportunity to get closer to Patrick Ifrinn. He’d use it as an excuse to merge our families.
Apparently, Patrick Ifrinn didn’t care that his son had taken what wasn’t his to take nor felt the need for Phoenix to do right by me. And so my father destroyed him. As he set out to kill the Ifrinns and take over power, he’d locked me away, preventing me from contacting Phoenix.
And when it was over, they made me a deal. I could keep my baby close, but never as my daughter. They would claim her as a distant relative's orphaned child, their godchild, and I would play along or they would send her away where I'd never see her again.
I had no choice. Eighteen, heartbroken, believing Phoenix dead in that fire my parents orchestrated, I agreed to their terms. I would be Brigit's god-sister, her friend, anything but her mother in name.
In retrospect, maybe I should have let her go. Placed her for adoption. Then she wouldn’t be living in fear. But what’s done is done, right?
I wonder what Phoenix would do if he knew the truth? Would it snap him back to the wonderful man I’d fallen in love with, or would he use her as a weapon against me? I can’t afford to find out.
I can't risk finding out. Not when she's all I have left in this world. Not when she's the only pure thing to come from the love I once believed would last forever.
The guard knocks sharply on the door. "Time's up."
I give Brigit a final squeeze and stand. Phoenix may hate me now, but I'll endure whatever comes next to protect the secret sitting on this bed, the one beautiful thing we created before everything turned to ash.
"I'll see you later, okay?" I promise, forcing brightness into my voice.
Brigit nods. "Will you tell me more about the party later?"
"Of course, sweetheart." I smile, backing toward the door. "Start thinking about what color dress you want."
I blow her a kiss and then follow the guard down the corridor. For ten years, I've lived a half-life. A mother but not Mother, always close but never close enough. My sacrifice has been worth it. I've watched Brigit grow from a helpless infant into a bright, compassionate girl with Phoenix's sharp intelligence and my stubborn determination. I've been there for every milestone, first steps, first words, first day of school. All while pretending to be something less than what I am.
My parents thought they were punishing me, forcing me to hide my relationship to my own child. Instead, they gave me the only thing that mattered. Proximity. I would have agreed to anything to keep her close. Some days, the pretense is crushing like when she runs to Nanny Fiona instead of me for comfort, when she calls me "Keira" instead of "Mommy”.
But now Phoenix has returned, bringing chaos and danger into our carefully constructed world. If he discovers the truth about Brigit…
