I pull the sheets over her. “I didn’t hurt you?”
She shakes her head. “Did I hurt you?”
I laugh. It bursts through unexpectedly.
She must think I’m laughing at her as she turns away.
“Hannah.” I wait until she turns over. “I came hard… and it felt fantastic.”
She’s not convinced.
“I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing because…” Fuck, I don’t know why except in that moment, something about her innocence, her sweetness filled me with something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Joy?
“Because I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“No, baby.” I do something I haven’t done with a woman since Meghan. I tug her close to me. “Your body knew exactly what to do. Didn’t you feel it?”
She nods, looking a little less embarrassed.
“I laughed because I felt the opposite of hurt. Isn’t that where humor comes from sometimes? In contrasts?”
“I guess.” She yawns, and I realize how late it is.
“Get some rest.”
She nods, rolling away from me. It feels wrong, especially since I’m sure she’s doing it to appease me and my rules.
I lie on my back, listening as her breath softens until she’s asleep. I’m not sure how she can sleep. My body still tingles from our encounter, every nerve ending alive with remembered pleasure.
This arrangement seemed logical. Keep things purely physical, no emotions involved. But watching her come undone as she rode me, feeling her respond to every touch, hearingthose little gasps and moans, it sets my blood on fire even just remembering them.
Being inside her, raw, primal, is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Not even with Meghan. The only thing I can attribute it to is the fact that once again, I’ve failed to use a condom. I've never been with anyone without protection before. Not even Meghan. Hannah has made me do things, lose my mind in ways that are dangerous. Such as nearly killing her art teacher. And not using a condom.
The thought should freak me out. Weirdly, it doesn’t. Perhaps it’s because the sensation of being inside her without a barrier is still pulsing in my cock. That skin-to-skin connection, the perfect friction, it nearly made my eyes roll back in my head. When I'm buried deep inside her, everything else falls away, the guilt, the revenge, the past. There's only sensation, only Hannah.
My body stirs with interest just thinking about our encounters. The perfect clutch of her body around mine, hot and tight and… fucking hell, I want to pull her under me and do it all again. And I want more than what I said I could give her. She makes me want things I swore I'd never want again. That is the thought that freaks me out.
I force my thoughts away from that dangerous path. This is just physical. It has to be. Even if no other woman has ever made me feel this way.
I scrub a hand over my face, trying to shake off these unsettling thoughts. Every time I'm with her, my walls crack a little more. And now I've been reckless, taking her without protection, like some hormone-driven teenager.
This time, the thought does concern me, but it’s not about Meghan. At least not specifically. A baby would make her even more vulnerable in this violent world. The Keans wouldn't hesitate to use a child against us. Just like they killed Meghan.
My chest fills with that strange sensation again, and it’s the scariest of all. It’s the realization that the fear isn’t from the possibility of loving her but the near certainty that I’m already halfway there.
The way she cares for me even when I’m not here or when I’m being an asshole. Her willingness to take on the burdens of her father and my family as her own. The way she stands up to me, challenges me, supports me without question. I'm falling for her, hard and fast, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
I press my palms against my eyes until I see stars. Loving her makes her a target. The Keans destroyed everything I loved once before. I can't let that happen again, can't watch another woman I love die because of me.
But pushing Hannah away feels impossible now. She's woven herself into every aspect of my life. The thought of losing her… it guts me. And because of that, I know I’m doomed.
I glance at her sleeping form. I need to be smarter about this, more careful. No more unprotected sex, no matter how good it feels. I can't risk getting her pregnant, can't give the Keans another way to hurt us.
A week later,I lean against the doorframe, watching in amazement as Hannah works her magic at yet another dinner party. She moves through the crowd of Irish mobsters with an effortless grace, her musical laugh drawing people in like moths to flame.
Tonight it's the Byrnes, Callahans, and Russos.
“The Russos will know that the Donovans and Rileys already met with us,” Hannah had said when she pitched this next party. A few days ago, we’d had them over and by the time they left, I knew for sure her father would stop dragging his feet.Between Hannah’s brilliance and my brother’s emergence from the shadows, I could feel Hampton Kean’s neck within my grasp.
