The realtor is in the kitchen, her paperwork on the large island. “I’ve prepared everything. You’re lucky in that the sellers are highly motivated.” She works through the documents, explaining what each item means.
Ash stands beside me, but he’s careful not to let our arms brush. The scent of his cologne makes my head spin, but I force myself to concentrate on the agent's explanation of closing costs and timelines.
“We need a quick closing,” he says. “We want to move in next week.”
“Next week.” The agent looks up at him in surprise.
“I’ll pay in cash, so we don’t need a mortgage. And” —he glances around the empty kitchen, as void of furniture as all the other rooms— “it’s not like they have to move.”
“If we can’t close by then, I can arrange for early?—”
“My lawyer can make sure everything is ready.” There’s a power behind his voice that doesn’t allow for discussion. It reminds me of my father when he’s talking to the men who work for him.
“Of course.”
When Ash is happy with the paperwork, he signs the offer contract and slides it to me. I look up at him and blink.
“Your name is on it too,” he says.
“I… ah… I don’t have any money.”
“We’re married. What’s mine is yours.”
For a moment, I believe it. When I sign my name on a legally binding contract to buy a house, I want to believe it. But I’m not dumb enough to think that I have any power or any ownership in my life.
Once the contract is signed, Ash leads me out of the house, still careful not to touch me. He guides me to my car and surprises me by sliding in next to me in the back seat. After all, we arrived separately.
The engine purrs as my driver pulls away from what will be our new home. Ash's jaw is clenched tight as he looks out the window. The passionate man from moments ago has vanished, replaced by this stone-faced stranger who won't even look at me.
I do the same, looking out my window as pain settles deep in my chest. I recall the discussion Ash had with Phoenix this morning when Ash talked about betraying Meghan. He did it again this afternoon. Is that why he’s now distant?
Ash clearly loves this Meghan woman, and I'm just a duty. A business commodity.
"The house is lovely," I say, desperate to break this suffocating quiet. "Thank you for?—”
"Don't." His voice cuts deep into my heart.
I press my lips together, fighting back the sting of tears. I won't cry. I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he hurts me.
I don’t understand him. One moment, he's touching me with a desperate need. Like he’ll die if he doesn’t. And the next, he’s pushing me away, ignoring me. He’s unable to hide his guilt and regret. But it’s not for how he’s treating me. It’s for betraying the one he really loves. Meghan.
I want to scream, to demand answers about who she is and why I'm being punished for her existence. But I keep my spinestraight, my expression neutral. My mother didn't raise me to make scenes or beg for attention from men who don't want to give it.
As we stop at a red light, I glance in his direction, catching his reflection in the window. The pain etched across his features makes my heart ache, even as it fuels my frustration. Who is the woman, and if he loves her, why did he agree to marry me?
“Did you draw the short stick?” I don’t mean to ask out loud, but when he looks at me, I realize I did.
“What do you mean?”
“Did you lose the ‘who has to marry Hannah O’Donnell’ contest?” Tears threaten again as I feel the pain of not being wanted.
He sucks in a breath. “My brother Flint is already married. And Blaise… well, he was nearly married.”
“Phoenix?” My hurt gets the best of me when I say, “I think he might have been a better match for me.”
I’m surprised when he doesn’t look offended. “No doubt he’d have been better to you, but…” He doesn’t say anything further, and I know that either Phoenix didn’t want me either or Ash did indeed draw the short stick or lost at Eenie-Meenie-Miny-Mo.
I realize that this is my lot in life, married to a man who loves someone else. Who tries to avoid me. Who won’t want to have kids with me. I’ll have to find my own interests and passions to fulfill my life.
