He disappeared from view and I sighed, knowing what was coming next. The back door opened and closed. I stayed where I was, sipping my useless water, listening. A thump as he removed his boots. Footsteps. Then there he was, looking like a cowboy and smelling like pine trees and cold air. And I was supposed tonottouch him? Honestly. How was that even reasonable?
His stride faltered when he caught sight of me. “You’re home,” he said. “Your car was gone when I woke up. I thought you were at work.”
I shook my head. “Holiday hours. I don’t go back until Tuesday.”
He came right to me and my heart fluttered in my chest. Then I realized he wanted the sink. I moved aside to give him space to wash his hands.
“Where’s Amy?” I asked.
“Out hiking with friends. Some kind of tradition they have instead of hitting the Black Friday sales.” He dried his hands on the towel hanging off the refrigerator door. “You hungry?”
“No, I had cookies.” I gave him a wide berth as I moved to the counter and pushed the plate of cookies forward. “James and I made them this morning.”
He tensed and then slowly rolled his neck. “She still likes to bake, huh? How is she?” The words sounded reluctant, like he had to drag them from his mouth.
“Good,” I said. “You can have one, you know.”
He considered the plate. “Why do I feel like I shouldn’t?”
I snorted. “Because you know it would piss Adam off.”
“Fuck that guy,” Steven muttered and snagged a cookie off the top.
“Fuck that guy?” I repeated. My eyebrows went up. “For what? Firing you after that shit you pulled with James? For breaking your nose?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “No. I don’t blame him for any of that. I would have done way worse, if it had been…” His gaze dropped along with the words unsaid.
“Then what?” I pressed. “What do you have to be mad at him for?”
His shoulders jerked slightly, like he was trying to shrug something off. “It feels good to hate him, okay? It feels good to be angry at someone else instead of just myself. What does it matter, anyway? He hates me, too.”
My lips flattened. “I’m not taking your side on this.”
“Yeah, no shit,” he bit out. “I never thought you would. I didn’t ask you to.”
The words cut deep, even though they shouldn’t have. Of course I couldn’t take his side. James and Adam hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Adam is a good man,” I said, almost pleading. For what? For Steven to figure out time travel and go back and fix everything? Some things couldn’t be fixed. It was a hard pill to swallow for someone who believed every problem had a solution.
Steven’s eyes narrowed. “So I’ve heard.”
I give up. My shoulders slumped. Whatever this thing was between us, it didn’t work. I had always known it wouldn’t. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. Because part of me had hoped that somehow, some way, it would all work out.
“Adam offered me a cabin at Lodestar Ranch,” I said, looking everywhere but at him. “I can move there with Radish in May.”
Steven froze. “Lodestar Ranch? You’re going to move to the one place in Aspen Springs I can’t go? What the hell, Chloe? Did I fucking imagine last night, or was that you begging for my dick?”
I flushed. Oh, shit, he was furious. The tendons in his throat bulged as he stared me down, his dark eyes nearly black. Well,that was fine, because I was mad, too. Mad at him for hurting James. Mad at him for not being able to fix it. Mad at myself for thinking even for a second that we would end up anywhere but right here, in this moment, with all these bad feelings and disappointments swirling around us like an inferno.
“Where else am I supposed to go, Steven?” I demanded, slapping a hand on the counter. “Home?”
He growled. “Youarehome, Chloe.Thisis your home. Even if you never let me into your bed again, this is still yours. Hell, you can turn my room into a nursery. I’ll sleep in the basement if that’s what you want. Just don’t—” His voice cracked. “Just don’t go where I can’t follow. Please, princess.”
Oh, god, the hurt I saw in his face was so much worse than anger. “Steven,” I choked out. My chest felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it, cracking me open. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Anything you want.” He rubbed a hand over his hair, disheveling it. “Anything you want. I love you, Chloe, and I think you could love me too, if you let yourself. Hell, I’m a reasonable man. If you need to hate me a little, I can live with that so long as you call me yours. Because that’s what I am, princess. I’m yours.”
My heart banged itself against my ribcage like it was trying to fling itself at him, but I held myself back. Held tight to my anger. If I caved now, where would that lead us? Right back here again. “Steven. Ican’t.”
