No one will interrupt us here unless Adam decides to show up again, and I don’t think he’s dumb enough to do that. I really would kill him, and there are plenty of places to hide a body around here.
I park the truck beneath the weeping willow, killing the engine as I recline my seat slightly. I pat my lap. "Come here, bambi."
Lilac doesn’t hesitate. Instead, she climbs into my lap, straddling me, her knees bracketing my hips.
"What’s going on?"
I stroke her back slowly, curling one hand into her hair and letting the strands slip through my fingers. I breathe her in because she calms me.
I might as well rip the bandaid off, because I don’t know how else to tell her all of this. "Not too long ago, someone was after Madison, which made all of us at the house targets. Some things went down that will never come to light. I was involved because of my friendship with Hayden. Same with Tristan."
Her brows knit as she listens, but she doesn’t say anything.
"Remember the night you showed up at that bonfire and I carried you out, and you were all mad at me?" I reach up and stroke the side of her face. I don’t miss those days when all I could do was bark orders at her instead of what we have now.
She scoffs lightly, her fingers playing with the collar of my t-shirt. "Yes. You could be such a jerk sometimes."
I grin. "You liked it. That’s why you always showed up where I was. So I’d take you home."
She huffs, but the way her lips twitch tells me I’m right.
"I’ve looked out for you for a long time. And when I took you home that night, a group of people attacked everyone at the bonfire."
Her mouth falls open. "I’ve never heard anyone talk about it."
My hands drop to her hips, steadying her as she shifts on my lap. My body responds, and I groan. "I’m never going to get all of this out if you keep moving on me like that."
She laughs. "You are such a guy."
I grab her hips tighter and kiss her hard, biting her bottom lip before pulling back. "Yes. I am."
She waves her hand dismissively, because she’s engrossed in my story. She asks me, "Was anyone hurt?"
"They might have been, if I hadn’t come back and had my gun after dropping you off,” I tell her, running my knuckles under her chin. I can’t help it, she’s fucking beautiful and I’ve deprived myself of touching her for so long.
She gasps, eyes wide. I slide my hand up her stomach, over the swell of her breast, and move up and around to curl my fingers around the back of her neck. I massage there, just wanting to make her feel good in any way I can.
“What else happened?” She asks me, her eyes rolling up when my fingers dig into the sweet spot on her left shoulder.
"When I realized how much danger you could’ve been in if I hadn’t made you leave that night, I lost my fucking mind, Lilac. I really did. I knew that because of my affiliation, you could have been made a target. When Hayden and Tristan asked Ramsey Blackwood to put trackers in Madi and Winter’s necks, I had him put one in you, too."
Her entire body stills.
Her lips part, eyes searching mine. "When?"
I exhale through my nose, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I chloroformed you while you were sleeping. He inserted thetracker. I stayed with you until I was sure you didn’t have a bad reaction, and then I snuck out before you woke up."
She goes quiet, and it feels like my heart is going to crack my chest open because it’s beating so hard.
I don’t know how she’s going to take what I’ve just told her, but at least it’s out in the open and there are no more secrets. I’ve never needed anything the way I need her to still want me after this.
"You did all of that just to keep me safe? When we weren’t even…" she trails off, like she’s trying to understand the garbled mess I've just laid in her lap. To me it’s pretty simple though, and I’d do it again if presented with the same situation.
I shake my head, gripping her hips again. My thumbs stroke slow circles against her skin underneath the jersey she’s got on. "No. I did it because you’re mine, Lilac. You always have been. And I needed to make sure that you were okay. I wouldn’t have been able to bear it if something happened to you. I needed to be able to see where you were at all times."
She nods, not saying anything. Her eyes start to glisten, and my heart drops into my stomach. For a split second, I brace myself, thinking she’s going to pull away from me because I’ve severed the trust she had in me. My worst fear other than losing her is that she’s going to hate me for what I did. I don’t think I could handle it if she looks at me like I’m a monster. The ache in my chest is a slow, twisting burn.
When the tension is too much and she doesn’t say anything, I ask her, "Are you mad at me?" I ask softly. "I can’t say that I’m sorry because I’m not. I’ll always keep you safe. And at the time, I didn’t see another way to do that."
