PROLOGUE
CALLUM
Iwalk behind Hayden and Tristan, my steps easy but deliberate. All the bullshit has been over for a while, but I’m scanning our surroundings. Old habits die hard, I guess. Madison and Winter are on either side of the guys, fitting into their places like they were always meant to be there.
Hayden’s got Madison’s hand in his, and I’ll probably give him shit for being clingy, but I don’t blame him. He saw what he wanted, he fucking took it, and he’s not letting go. Without breaking stride, he lifts her fingers to his lips, brushing a kiss over them that is far too gentle coming from the dude I’ve watched crack someone’s skull on the ice. Madison flushes, her gaze flicking down like she’s trying to fight a smile, but she doesn’t pull away. She never does. Hayden’s got her, and he knows it.
Tristan’s a different story. Hood up as usual, hands in his pockets. When he turns on the walkway, I can see that his face is set in that blank, lethal expression that makes people think twice before getting in his way. He’s scanning, too. Not the way I am, but with that silent, brooding awareness that keeps people on edge.
Winter walks beside him like she doesn’t even notice, but I know better. I catch the way her small hand curls around his bicep, her fingers barely denting the muscle. Tristan doesn’t react, not at first. Then, like she’s flipped some invisible switch, his shoulders lose a fraction of their tension, the edge in his jaw smoothing out. He hasn’t said a word the entire time, but I watch as he turns to look down at her, and I’m really fucking jealous. They have something that everyone wants, even if they both deny that there’s anything going on between them. It’s like they’re literal soulmates, and they communicate in ways that none of us will ever understand.
I’m about to crack a joke, whack Hayden in the back of the head, literally anything not to feel like the fifth fucking wheel, but then I catch a glimpse of her.
Lilac Fairbanks.
That dress. Thatfuckingdress. It flutters in the wind, soft and delicate, the exact shade of her name. It’s impractical for the season, but when has she ever cared about that? It clings to her, hugs every inch of her body, and I can’t look away. Her chestnut hair is shiny, half pulled back with a purple ribbon that makes my chest feel too tight. I want to pull it out of her hair and tie her hands with it while I spend the entire night exploring the parts of Lilac that no one has ever seen.
I stare at my girl, jaw locked, and my fingers itch to just touch some part of her. She’s always looked like she belongs in some glossy magazine, perfect and untouchable. She grew up in Castlebrook Falls just like I did, but she doesn’t look like it. Her makeup is always done to perfection, and there’s never a hair out of place. I don’t want the polished version. I want the one beneath it, the one no one else gets to see. I swallow hard because that’s not exactly true. I get to see it every time I’ve let myself in her bedroom. Every time I’ve taken a chance of her waking up and catching me leaning against her door justwatching her breathe. I can’t let myself any closer. I’m erratic when it comes to her. There’s a single thread of decency left in me that keeps me from rushing to her bed on those nights and climbing between those silky thighs. I want to be so deep inside of her that her eyes roll back, and I’m the only thought she has before she comes all over my cock.
Fuck.
I force myself to breathe. She’s not mine. She never has been, and that’s the problem.
Lilac is the baby sister of my best friend since literal childhood. She’s untouchable. Off-limits. And then there’s me. Castlebrook’s walking nightmare. The guy people still whisper about even if they don’t remember why. They might not know the details, but they know the aftermath. The blood. The body. The fact that I walked away unscathed when I shouldn’t have. They should have convicted me, but Mr. Fairbanks was my lawyer. He’s a fucking good lawyer.
No one in the Falls trusts me, and that’s why I’m here at Castlebrook. Sure, hockey comes easily to me. I don’t even have to try, but that's not why I came here. Once I turned eighteen, I could have gone anywhere or done anything, but I wanted to be where Lilac is. I wanted to be close enough to protect her from guys who want to do the same things to her that I do.
The Fairbanks were the only ones in Castlebrook Falls who didn’t turn their backs on me. While the town whispered, while people crossed the street to avoid me, they let me in. They treated me like I was worth something. Like I wasn’t some rabid dog that should have been put down. And Lilac was always there, too, looking at me with those big, knowing eyes, like she saw something in me no one else could.
She has no idea what I did for her back then, to my own father no less. She certainly has no clue how many of her dates I’ve ruined before they ever started. I want to put my fistthrough the face of every guy who’s ever asked her out. Instead, I make sure they don’t get the chance. I’ve sabotaged every single date she’s ever been invited on. I made sure that they never happened, even if that meant the guys cancelled on her or ghosted completely. It makes me feel a little bad, knowing she thinks the guys just ghosted her, but not bad enough to stop. Because the alternative? Letting some asshole get his grubby hands on her?Never gonna happen.
No one gets to look at her the way I do.
I play my part. The careless playboy. The guy who doesn’t give a damn about anything because everything is a fucking punchline. It’s what they expect. But the truth? I’ve never touched another woman. I’ve been too busy stalking Lilac, watching, protecting, making sure no one else gets the chance to take what’smine.
This isn’t just about keeping her safe, it’s about owning her in ways she doesn’t even realize.
There are things I’ve never told anyone. Kinks I know I love, but I’ve never explored. Because the only person I want to try them with is the only woman I can’t touch.
“Don’t fucking cause a scene, I’ve already got a headache,” Hayden snaps at me, breaking me out of my thoughts as we walk closer to where Lilac is walking with her group of friends. I know every single one of their names and all of their personal details, but I’ll never acknowledge them to their face. I keep tabs on everyone she associates with, but they think I’ve never given them a second thought.
“Would you let Madison walk around in that dress in this weather?” I grin at Hayden, but I’m annoyed because we both know the answer is no. The way Winter giggles and Tristan snorts tells me that we are all aware that Hayden would crash out in the most obnoxious of ways if Madison was walking around campus in a low-cut sundress.
Hayden smirks down at Madison and then looks back at me as if to say, “Fair enough.”
I watch as Lilac spots me. Her eyes widen in a way that tells me she’s not exactly upset to see me, despite how much of a brat she’ll be when I give her a hard time about not wearing a coat.
Maybe I’m the brat.
I really take her in, and something primal inside of me snaps when I clock that she’s not wearing a bra. I have to breathe in and out through my nose to calm the urges that are racing through my whole body.
I have this fantasy about Lilac, and my imagination is running wild right now. A dark, filthy fever dream that’s been living in my head. In it, Lilac is in one of her frilly little outfits, running through the graveyard on campus. I’m in a mask chasing her through the headstones, her breath coming in quick little pants as she pushes herself to run, to escape, but she doesn’t really want to. Shewantsto be caught. Specifically, she wants me to catch her. Only me. Always me. When I finally tackle her to the cold, dirty ground, I know she’ll light up. Her eyes will go bright with excitement as I ravage her. I know she’ll crave more, I can fucking feel it in my bones.
I’d ruin her. Make her mine in a way that no one else ever could. I’d mark her up, make her feel me for days after.
As our group catches up to hers, I can’t help myself, “Where’s your goddamn coat, bambi?” Lilac’s pretty brown eyes narrow on me when the nickname I gave her so long ago rolls off my tongue. She might be an elegant and extremely skilled figure skater now, but I’m the one who introduced her to the ice, wobbly legs and all.
She doesn’t move and just stares at me instead. “Are you serious?”
