Bender isn’t alone, and I can’t make fucking sense of what I’m seeing. He’s snuggled around Shep, a very naked Shep. It’s not unusual to see Bender around a warm body, but naked Bender around naked Shep? No way Huddy would be okay with this. What the fuck do I do?
Stepping backward, I fumble, knocking into the dresser. Shep stirs first. He squints until his groggy brain figures out it’s me.
“Oh, shit. Ace, wait. I can explain,” he whispers. Why’s he being so careful about waking Bend? The two have been enemies since they met and had to form a truce just to get through being on the same hockey team. This had to be a drunken hate fuck.
Right?
Shep slides away from Bender, or tries to. He fidgets a little, and Shep leans over to whisper something in his ear. Whatever he says makes them both smile, Bender still with his eyes closed, and it convinces him to let Shep go for what’s clearly understood as temporary.
“Okay, what the actual fuck?”
Shep finds his sweats and a shirt and drags me into the hallway. “Hudson and I broke up two weeks ago,” he says.
The floor tilts.
Looks like everyone’s doing shitweeksago and not telling fucking Ace.
At least there’s heart-wrenching pain in his voice and I’m fucking glad for it. Those two were fucking meant to be. Them breaking up is like love ending. As in all love. Forever. Does it even exist if Shep and Huddy don’t?
I was already near tears after brunch. This sends me over the edge, and I wipe at the stupid wet stuff. I can’t believe I’m crying about someone else’s breakup. How ridiculous am I? It’s got to be the climax of too many emotions, piling on top of each other.
“You can’t have a one-night stand with Bender,” I tell him. Bender’s been through some shit. He’s not getting his heart broken, too.
“First of all, too late. Second of all, Bender can decide what Bender wants.”
My jaw sets, and fierce protective instincts burn to the surface. Under normal circumstances, sure, Bender would decide what he wants, but Bender’s … Bender. I’ve done my best to shield him from getting his heart sliced in two all my life. Actually, I’ve done my best to keep all trouble away from him since the day we met.
Does that mean I think Shep is trouble? Fuck, I don’t know. I trust Shep, just not the situation.
“Why didn’t anyone fucking tell me?” I hiss.
“You’ve had a lot going on, man. We were gonna tell you, but?—”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Not long. Hudson and I broke up two weeks ago, and I sorta noticed … anyway, this just happened last night.”
From the way he doesn’t know how to explain anything, I guess it must be as new as he’s saying. Possibly even a one-night thing … but the way he whispered in Bender’s ear a minute ago …
“Hudson’s been coming to our games.”
“We’re still friends. Best friends. We still love each other, just not the way we used to.”
“And you can justdothat?” I’ve never heard of that working out.
“It’s not easy, but we’re trying. Part of the reason we held on so long is because of how much we love each other. We didn’t want to lose each other.”
“If you’re in love, you work shit out, not sleep with Bender,” I whisper yell.
“The issue is we don’t know if we’re in love anymore. The love has changed to something less romantic. We’ve grown way apart—that’s what my sister calls it.”
I wanna talk to this sister of his. Maybe I can hold her responsible.
Is it weird that my heart’s breaking, even though I didn’t break up with anyone? There’s a weird hollow in my gut, like the world fell out of me. Like the world lost something.
“Bender can’t be your rebound.”
“He’s not, Ace. I promise. He’s … look. I’m the only one who’s gonna get hurt here. He hates my fucking guts, and that’s not an exaggeration.”
