“I’m … I don’t. No.” I swallow. Can I take my no back? Would it look weird? I think what I actually want to say is yes, but I don’t know. Are you allowed to respond to that question with an “I’ll think about it?”
Maybe he’d touch me during our date with those strong-looking hands. Bet they’d be rough. I wouldn’t like gentle hands. I’d get bored. Ari wouldn’t be boring. I bet he’d be a confident and savage lover, even though he’s not like that in person. Well maybe a bit, but you’d miss it if you didn’t look close enough.
And I’m always looking closely at Ari.
Doug wanders to the counter, licking his greasy fingers. Yeah,thatDoug. The asshole. He puts an arm around Ari and my nails dig into my palm. He kisses Ari on the cheek. My nails pierce skin.
“Stop,” Ari says. “I’m trying to convince Cody to give me a chance, and you’re ruining it.”
Doug raises an incredulous brow. “Really? Him? Didn’t think that was your type.”
That.I’m a that.
And he’s ruined it. Ruined everything. Ari’ll realize that he made some sort of tactical error asking me on a date. I said no, but somehow he knew my “no” was about as real as the meat in that hot dog sitting in front of him. Rocks of ice sink to the bottom of my gut, anchoring me to the floor.
Ari shoves him. His friend. “You’re a real charmer, Doug. Either apologize or get the fuck outta my face.”
“Option two,” he says. “I’m not apologizing to nerd boy.”
My cheeks flame. My eyes find the ground interesting.
“I’m gonna beat his face in for that once we get to the parking lot. He’s a real shithead sometimes,” Ari says. “So? What do you say? I’d love to take you somewhere. Bet we’d have fun. I’ll let you tell me what to eat.”
I almost smile. I want to smile. I won’t let myself smile.
I don’t want to like Ari as much as I do.
“I’m taken,” I lie.
“Taken as in, you have a person already?”
“Is that so hard to believe? Too hard to believe that someone like me has a person?” I let my eyes meet his, or force them to more like, so I can lie straight to his face.
“No. I thought the whole hot dog thing was flirting. I took it as the sign I was looking for so I could finally work up the courage to ask you out.”
Courage? Why would he need more courage? The man is a lion full of courage. I’ve watched him play hockey. The things he does on a sheet of frictionless frozen water. Sometimes, I’ve feared for his life.
“You eat horribly.”
“So do the other guys, don’t see you refusing to sell them licorice.”
Shit. I have nothing for that because he’s right. I could give a fuck about his stupid friends. I’m only worried about his insides. “Yeah, well, guess you can go now.” He needs to go before my lip trembles; before the tears come. He’s the last person I wanted to look stupid in front of, but thanks to Doug, now I do.
“I need a job,” he says.
I scrunch my brows. “A job?”
“Uh, yeah. Thanksgiving’s coming up, and I have a big family to feed. You know there are a few of us Meyers.”
There were at least three of them, including him, that went to our high school. “What are you doing spending fifteen dollars on hot dogs if you need turkey money?”
He shrugs. Does he ever not smile like the world’s happiest golden retriever? “In my defense, I was only going to spend four dollars on licorice and soda.”
I bite my lip. “Um, sorry. I’ll ask Rita if there are any openings to make up for that.” Rita’s my mom. I’m not sure if I want to tell him that.
“I’d appreciate it. Let me know on Thursday.”
“Wait,” I say before he can leave. “How were you gonna take me on a date without money?”
