“Indeed,” Micah says solemnly, displaying a picture of a child biting the head off a chocolate bunny. Brown smears cover his face as he stares through the camera, straight into our souls. The next image shows a different child, holding what appears to be a marshmallow baby chick. She pulls on it from either end, stretching the neck until it’s nothing but skinny strands that are barely hanging on. She beheads the thing like she’s a descendant of Henry VIII, all while smiling.
“That’s fuckingbrutal.” I can’t pull my eyes away from the tiny child’s malicious grin.
Micah nods again. “They call them ‘Peeps,’ and my research indicates they are named after the cries they make in the final moments before their death.” A collective shiver runs through the room.
A thought hits me, and I scrunch my face as I shake my head. “Why is a giant rabbit laying chicken eggs?”
“Not only is he laying them, but he’s leaving them in yards for children to collect.” For what might be the first time in history, Micah holds everyone’s attention. “None of this makes any sense, and it’s why we need to step in.”
“Okay, pretend for just a moment this isn’t absolute insanity… we all have jobs to do.” Niklaus hesitates when he glances at Cecil, but he doesn’t say anything. No one really knows what Father Time does, but he’s been around so long we’ve all learned to roll with it. “It sounds like you’re creating work for the hell of it. What exactly do you expect this position to do?”
“At the beginning, nothing.” Eyebrows around the table raise. “Understanding the humans’ creation must be the priority. It will take a lot of observation and research. Only once we understand what they expect from this creature will we be ready to proceed.”
“Ohhh…. kay….” I drawl as his purple eyes land on mine. “Easter Bunny project, step one is spywork. Wasn’t where I saw that going, but alright. Then what?”
“Then,” he huffs with another toss of that pearly white hair, “we wait until the humans have accepted The Easter Bunny as a fixture in their belief system. Then we can flip the script and use it to influence humanity. Just like The Santa encourages children to be good, and The Lucifer motivates moral behavior from adults.”
“You just pulled that out of your ass, didn’t you?” Micah’s lip lifts in the slightest snarl as he glares at me, drumming his fingers on the podium. “You called this meeting and dragged all of us here because you were bored and needed some attention.”
“Drekoth, get your dog under control,” he growls through clenched teeth.
“If anyone’s the dog, it’s you, angel boy.” A bolt of pure rage flashes in his eyes as he flexes his fists, and a thrill shoots up my spine as I smirk. My arms cross over my chest as I lean against the wall, never breaking our stare-off.
“Well, I, uh… I think you b-both have good points,” The Cupid says, and flinches when I glare at him. “We don’t have to decide everything regarding the position yet, because it will take years before the humans forget they made this up.”
“Yes, Azrael, that is correct.” Micah tilts his nose so high he’ll drown if it rains. “And it is not a year-round job. Whoever fills the role will primarily be needed between February to April, and the rest of their time will be their own.”
Although the Christmas season has passed, The Santa stays busy year-round getting ready for the upcoming holiday. The Cupid is in high demand with Valentine’s Day approaching, and The Tooth Fairy never rests. My eyes move to Cecil, who yawns and runs his fingers through his long gray beard. Still don’t know what that fucker does, but I’ll just leave him alone.
Sliding my tongue across my teeth again, I glance at Drekoth. There’s a compact mirror in his hand, and he purses his lips at his reflection as he fluffs his hair. I have a strong urge to chop that beloved hair off his head and shove it down his throat. Bind him in magical handcuffs and toss him into a forgotten corner of Hell until everyone forgets his name. Nothing would change, because he doesn’t do a damn thing anyway. It would just spare me from watching his incompetence.
Drekoth snaps his mirror closed with a sharp click, like he does a hundred times a day, and the sound severs the final strands of my sanity. It chops my common sense right in half as I realize I will do anything—absolutely fucking anything—to never hear that sound again.
“I’ll do it,” I hear myself saying, and once again, every eye turns to stare at me. Even Damien is speechless, which is a feat in and of itself.
“I’m sorry… I’m not sure I follow,” Micah says, tilting his head as he drags his fingers along the edges of his obnoxious gavel. It’s like he’s about to protest to something and wants to make sure he knows what he’s arguing against first. “You’ll dowhat?”
Again, I glance around the circle, and the shock is still clear on everyone’s expression. Annoyance flares as I narrow my eyes, gesturing at their dumb, staring faces. “You need someone to fill the position, and I’m the only one present that doesn’t currently have restrictive obligations.”
“Who will trim my hair?” Drekoth wails in a whisper.
“How about I chop your head right off your fucking neck, and then neither of us has to worry about that?” I snap, and his blood orange eyes widen. I take a deep breath, shaking my head as I turn back to Micah.
“Yes, they might be busy, but you are…” The Archangel twists his face into a disgusted grimace and waves his hand, sweeping it up and down as he gestures at all of me. Just gestures at the entire thing with a sneer. “You are not special.”
“Oh, fuck you, Micah.” His nostrils flare as his temper rages, but I’ve never been one to back down. “Special? You think you’re fuckingspecial?No one else is jumping out of their seats to help you with this asinine project.”
“How dare you speak to me that way?” The lights flicker overhead as his power glides over my skin, and I fight a shiver. What’s meant to be intimidating prickles over my skin, caressing my body as it drifts over my arms and torso.
I lean forward, flashing him my most sarcastic smirk. “Why don’t you move that little party trick lower? If you’re going to put the effort in, at least I can get a happy ending out of it.”
“Must you be so indecent?” Micah growls and his gaze drops to my crotch, where my traitorous cock has started to chub up again. A giant smile rips across my face as a blush tints his cheeks, but he quickly darts his eyes away.
Fuck, is heshy?!
Why is that so fucking hot?
I bite back a groan and shift to cover the evidence of my current situation. “Yeah, it’s just part of the whole package, ya know?”
