“I don’t know, Calypso. Come on. I didn’t think I was. I know if I am, I’m being stupid. I guess I’m hurt.” I close my eyes again. “Yeah, hurt.”
Seconds pass. Long enough for the stupidity to build.Hurtbecause a girl I can’t even bring myself to confess to doesn’t want her first kiss going to someone she isn’t even dating. That’s not just idiotic. That’s selfish and egotistical.
When Calypso’s soft voice breathes into the muted sounds of night, my heart skips a beat.
“I don’tnotwant to kiss you.”
I cringe, forcing my gaze toward her. If I’m really making this poor girl explain herself for the sake of my inept feelings, the least I can do is look at her.
My body rushes warm.
Legs pulled up against her chest, she has her body tilted away from me. She holds her braid across her cheeks, as though the slim tail can cover her blush. “I’m not put off by you or anything. And it’s not like I think you’re some creep or I’m scared you’re going to do something to make it weird.”
That isn’t even on my list of concerns. Iknowshe’s comfortable around me. She slept in my bed, in my arms, without a care. Is there such a thing astoocomfortable? For how often I make her blush and flustered, I’ve never even stopped toconsider whether she sees me as a guy or whether I’m just some odd rich person who went so far as to hire her on a whim.
“Is it because we’re friends?” I ask, biting back any bitterness that could come with that word. I went to great lengths to earn that title, and itisn’ta bad thing. Friends is exactly where all serious lovers should start. What’s the point if the person you’re dating isn’t someone you genuinely like past whatever comes with romance?
Sex is just bodies.
Friendship is the touching of souls.
Both kinds of intimacy are important in a romantic relationship, but if I have to prefer one…nothing will ever come close to twenty dollars of chocolate milk or baking enough muffins for my entire staff to enjoy.
“It’s because I’m stupid,” she murmurs.
Confusion muddles my expression. “What?”
“I wrote a romance.”
I watch her. “Yes?”
“Ilikeromance,” she notes, like it clarifies things.
When I don’t say anything else, she removes her glasses and covers her face with her hands, sinking so far into the seat I’m not entirely sure how she’s going to get out.
“I keep seeing my first kiss happening on a stage, all scripted, and then I literally run from it. It’s not even a real one. There’s nothing good about it. I’ll just remember it as some sterile thing that happened in front of a literal crowd, and who the heck knows what Agatha’s going to say about it once Harriet falls away and all the things that make me dread it come back to haunt me in clear view.” Her fingers curl, her nails digging into her skin, leaving tiny half moons. “I didn’t think it would bother me like this when I agreed to the contract at the beginning of the school year. Honest. I’m sorry. I’ll get over it before Monday.”
I reach for her hand, and she flinches, pulling her nails freeof her flesh and glancing at me out of her cocoon. Taking a breath, she somehow unfolds herself, sitting back up and facing me. “So that’s the reason. It has nothing to do with you not being kissable. I hear you’re not bad, though my source—you—may be unreliable. You can put your pride at ease.”
Pride. Of course she thinks it’s just a dumb pride thing. With the way I act, she has no reason to believe I’m serious about her.
I look outside at the mostly vacant lot. Not a single soul speckles the grounds around the auditorium. We’re alone.
Alone and chilled and bathed in moonlight.
“Calypso,” I say.
“Hm?” She presses her lips together, as though she might be able to protect them.
Cupping her face with one hand, I lean across the console, and kiss her.
Calypso
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My heart stops. My thoughts stop. My breath stops. I have no idea how I’m even still alive. Lex’s lips touch mine, and I shut off, entirely.
His lips are warm, gentle, slightly chapped from the cold.
