Calypso doesn’t move, her fragile breaths vibrating against my chest with every inhale. I could wrap my arms around her in a second, tell her she’s okay, that she hasn’t done anything wrong, that brats like Agatha have no right.
I know Agatha and Calypso have known each other since high school. I overheard that days ago. Whatever specifically happened between them, I don’t have a clue, but judging by the way Calypso is frozen up against me, it wasn’t good.
I should hold her.
Even if just for a moment.
I can easily mask the action beneath Kenneth. Kenneth would hold his Harriet in an instant, if only as an excuse.
But I’m not Kenneth; she doesn’t want me to be.
So I don’t.
Calypso
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What’s the deal,Caly?” Agatha catches me in the restroom right before I leave practice. The moment I get to the sink and finish washing my hands, she’s pressing toward me, like some kind of feral beast.
My stomach tightens, flipping, and I meet her hazel eyes. They glint with determination and hatred. My mouth opens, but I can’t for the life of me form words.
She scoffs, leaning against the counter to admire her perfectly trim nails. “Look at you. You can’t even talk to me like a normal person. What in the world are you doing on stage?”
I got the part. That’s what I’m doing on stage.
I can’t put those words into sound.
“Cheap tricks like playing the piano is rotten,Caly,” she snarls. “And you’recompletelybutchering Harriet.”
Mr. D’plume doesn’t think so.
Her depiction of Harriet is portrayed so precisely how I pictured her that it’s almost as though she wrote the play herself.
Then again. Ididwrite the play myself. The bias connected to Mr. D’plume’s opinion is unmistakable. Whether I’m good or not, he wants me to break out of my shell and be a part of the thing I created. He’s like that, saturated with a sort of distant care. With expressionless eyes, he does whatever he can for his students.
“Aw.” Agatha tuts, a bitter smile curling her lips. “Of course. You’re mute. How in character for you.”
I choke on a swallow and whisper. “Why does it matter so much to you? This is just college. I don’t want to be an actress, so it’s not like I’m going to be bothering you in the real worldwith your career ambitions. You were the lead last year, and you’ll probably be the lead next year. No doubt before this year is up, you’ll have even done some work in real films through the opportunities offered in your acting classes.” My chest tightens, and I think I might cry. “Why doesthismatter to you? Why can’t I havethis?”
It doesn’t take her a moment to laugh. “You’re a disgrace. Can you even hear yourself right now?” She pushes off the counter and presses toward me, cornering me back against the wall until my backpack is pressing into my spine. “You don’t want to be an actress, so why do you even want this? Clearly, you don’t have any passion, Caly. It’s an insult to everything I love just seeing you up there.”
My throat is so tight it burns.
“You’ve never really been passionate about anything, and people can see that.” She lifts her head. “I’m nobody’s understudy, and certainly not yours. But, maybe this is a good thing.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Mr. D’plume knows better than to assume you’ll actually be able to do this. That’s why I’m lined up for opening night when you can’t even make it there.”
“Sugar?” Lex’s voice calls past the door, a knock accompanying it.
I look past Agatha, and a breath manages to push its way through my chest.
Agatha turns, chuckling. “Don’t think I don’t see the way you are with ‘Kenneth,’ too. Something’s off here. I will get to the bottom of it, and I will have my way.” Lifting her head, Agatha is suddenly younger, the queen bee at her mother’s school, staring down at me like I don’t even belong in the same building. “After all, there are those of us who are born to play a role in this world, and then there’syou.”
Useless.
What she’s saying comes loud and clear, despite her not putting it into words.
Some people exist to be brilliant. And some people can merely fight to be useful. Some people wouldn’t shy away from the stage or being exceptional. Some people aren’tme.
The door opens in the same moment a tear falls down my cheek.
