Lex holds my gaze, and it’s a physical sort of grip. Like he has me clasped in his very palm. “Sugar…” His hand lifts and skims my flesh, pushing back imaginary hair I’ve already trapped in my braids, and perhaps what stings the most is the fact he didn’t call meHarriet. He’s talking tome. And touchingme. And acting likeIam the one he’s spent so long slowly, effortlessly, falling in love with.
Any girl would be star-struck.
I’m enraptured. My Kenneth. A man I made up is standing in front of me, playing my feelings like the ivory keys I love too much.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says.
My caught breath eases as he stops the scene, pulls out of what would have landed in tears and a kiss before I flee.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, something shy and soft in the word as he neglects entirely to pull away. “I don’t know why, but you seem to listen to Kenneth. I’m really going to start believing you’re in love with him or something.”
My jaw clenches, and I lift my hand to slap him.
Lex catches my wrist and won’t let me pull free. Sucking in a breath, he notes, “I would have deserved that. Where are my manners? Of course it’s rude to imply you’d have fallen in lovewith a fictional character, and one created by our teacher no less.” His eyes roll, his head shaking with distaste. “I mean what I said about it being okay, though. No matter what happens, we’re partners in this. I’m not going to leave you stranded. We’ll figure everything out. But you have to do one last thing for me.”
The taste in my mouth is stale and sour, but I whisper around it, “What? What more could you possibly want from me?”
“Stop lying to yourself.”
The words cut. Deep.
“We both know you’re not even a fraction of stupid. If you hadn’t wanted to do this in any part, no amount of money or coercion would have swayed that decision. You’re determined as—” He swears. “—and dang brilliant—”
“Don’t say that,” I hiss.
“Why? It’s true.”
“It’s a chain. When you’re average, no one expects much of you. When you’rebrilliant, even the best is never good enough. I’m tired of being brilliant. I’m tired of people seeing something they claim is outstanding and not even paying it an ounce of attention as they ask, endlessly, what’snext.” I take a shuddering breath, knowing the onlypeopleI’m referring to is my mother, and he finally lets my hand free. “You don’t know me, Lex. You don’t. You say we’re alike, but we don’t want the same things at all.”
“Let’s pretend that’s true for a second.” His smile is smug. “We’re still partners in this even if we want different things from it. And we still understand each other enough to feel less alone when we’re together.”
I wince, and I want nothing more than to deny that. But I can’t.
And he knows it. “You can’t deny it,” he notes casually, like he’s not read my mind. “You let me stay this morning. I’m not stupid enough to believe that doesn’t mean something.”
It means everything he’s suggesting. I didn’t want to be alone. I wouldn’t bear foreign eyes. Kenneth makes things better.NotLex.
But perhaps that’s just another lie I tell myself to feel better about letting a perfect stranger get so close so fast.
It’s been a week. A single week. But the way he looks at me makes it feel like he’s known me my whole life.
“I’m going to be late to Statistics.” It’s a cheap way to say I’m done with this conversation and don’t want to admit anything else or let him dig his way any further into my soul, but it’s all I have.
“I’ll see you in class later.”
“Yeah,” I mumble, turning.
Before I can take a single step away, he flicks one of my braids, and I shoot him a glare, finding the kind of grin that is too warm and open for Kenneth to show.
All the same, I blush and flee.
Lex
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate her.
I know I’m not fond of her every time she speaks up in class with a better-than-thou tone of voice or when she complains over some detail of the curriculum that is for “less-advanced” actors. Her pitch is grating, an unwelcome complement to her attitude.
