It’s around eleven when I’m curled up in bed with my phone that I get the odd feeling it isn’t normal for Lex to be so invested in text conversations. I’ve spent enough time around him and Jason to gather that Lex’s phone is where messages go to die. If it isn’t in person, there just isn’t enough going on to keep hisinterest.
I’m not bold enough to think I can possibly be an exception based upon my enthralling messaging skills alone.
Lex: I can hear the bird. I think it found my hall. Should I open my door tonight and see if I can make a friend?
Our last text was several minutes ago. And it could have been our last. It’s late enough for our conversation to come to a natural close, but he went and started up something else.
Scrolling up, I press my lips together and skim all the messages that we’ve sent back and forth today. Not a single one focuses on anything important. Not a single one alludes to how he kissed me until I forgot my name.
I’m not bold enough to think Lex would put this much effort and flippant care into a relationship that is already as worn and comfortable as ours. I’m not bold enough to believe there’s something particularly interesting about talking to me like this.
I swallow, my heart hammering.
Do it. Put some seeds in your loft nest so she knows there’s a vacancy and she’s welcome.
Lex: I’m sneaking down to the kitchen now. Do you remember where we keep the birdseed?
This dork.
You have sunflower and pumpkin seed on the top shelf in the back on the right.
This beautiful dork.
Lex: I was joking, but now it feels like I have to.
I can’t believe it didn’t click sooner. I can’t believe it took the understanding that Lex wouldn’t bother texting someone like this unless they’re a certain kind of special to him. I can’t believe I’ve been so naive and oblivious. I can’t believe I’m now so pompously certain from such a mundane piece of evidence.
Lex sends a picture of a tiny pile of seeds cushioned in his loftnest.
Lex: If this doesn’t work, I’m going to be pissed.
My breath turns shallow, and I curl up tighter in my blankets, heated to my core that this man who can only put his effort where his interest is has just walked all the way down to his kitchen, gotten a little handful of seeds, and trucked them up to his loft just so he could send me a picture of the joke.
Me too.
It’s late.
Lex: Are you sleepy, sugar?
I could stay up talking to him for hours. But tomorrow is shopping day. I have to get up early enough that Mom and I beat the rush. Otherwise the store will be out of all my favorite things.
Mhm.
Lex: I hope your dreams are filled with me.
So do I.
You think you deserve to play lead in my dreams?
Lex: Say the word, and I’ll audition for any role you’d like.
Even lover?
I delete the message and pull the collar of my pajama shirt up over my nose to combat the rise of blush, hide it from the shadows in my room.
Lex likes me.
I should have felt it in his kiss, in the way he held my hand. In the way he said itmeantsomething. In how he saidonly you. I was too busy consumed in my own whirlwind of emotions and desire to comprehend that Lex wouldn’t take his teasing that far. From the start, he’s been considerate of accidentally going too far.
