“Both and neither.”If anyone could understand me, it was him.“I didn’t expect we’d find an answer, but I guess I’d hoped we’d have a quick break through. The real problem is how I feel about my grandfather. I’m still mad at him. That, and digging through ancient texts doesn’t play to my strengths.”
“You’re more disciplined than you think,”he said gently.“With all the years we’ve to be together, we could teach a master class in patience.”
Not that I had a choice, but we agreed long ago to make the best of our situation. “I’d wait centuries if I had to.”
“Let not put that determination to the test.”His presence in my mind was stronger, as if he were attempting to wrap his energy around mine.“You should get back to your research. We leave for Maine soon. I’ll update you when we arrive.”
“I miss you.”The words slipped out, but I didn’t regret them.
“And I miss you,”he said.“Be safe, my love.”
His presence faded from my mind, but I felt more centered than I had all day. Taking a deep breath, I returned to the text I’d struggled to read before I spoke to Rod.
Closing my book, I pushed it away and sat back. “We’re missing something,” I whispered.
“What was that?” Leo asked.
I hadn’t meant for the others to hear me since it was a half-formed thought, but it had been so quiet I forgot Leo was seated next to me. Having put it out there, I decided to go with my thought. “By every account, Blackstone is a methodical being. He wouldn’t have taken Grandfather unless he believed every aspect of his plan was in place. The fact he hasn’t acted suggests something didn’t go according to plan.”
The others had stopped what they were doing and looked at me and Leo.
“We don’t know that,” Gund said. “Maybe he needed your grandfather before he could begin his next phase.”
“No,” Leo said quietly. “Cinaed might be onto something. I’ve had similar thoughts. Holding a powerful being like Ailpein captive is difficult. Ask the warden at a mage prison if you don’t believe me. The longer Ailpein is detained, the greater the chance he can escape, we’ll notice the magic used to detain him, or he’ll be able to get us a message. It makes more sense Blackstone planned to act swiftly, but hit a snag.”
I was glad to hear I wasn’t totally crazy. As a trained inquisitor, Leo’s opinion carried a lot more weight than mine. “If I had to guess, the hitch has to do with how phoenix regenerate. When we die, we go to a place between life and death. It’s possible to stay there for as long as we want.”
“What if he took away Ailpein’s ashes?” Otto asked.
“It wouldn’t make a difference,” Percy said. “Rising from the ashes is a myth. If the ashes were required, it would make regeneration fairly easy to thwart.”
He was correct, but it wasn’t something we told the world. If beings were focused on our ashes, they wouldn’t search for a different method to kill our kind. “That’s correct, but I still don’t understand how he plans to permanently kill a phoenix. Adelais had to willingly end her life by refusing to regenerate.”
“I have a question about that,” Bart said. “Do all phoenix know how to do what Adelais did, or is it a secret only a few know?”
My snarky side wanted to ask if he wanted to be sure I could do it if needed. I didn’t know Bart well, but Rod said his brother had been willing to sacrifice himself to save his mate and brother. “We’re taught at an early age the danger of releasing our power in the way Adelais did. The idea being, if we know, we won’t do it by accident. Why?”
Bart suddenly looked uncomfortable. “I’ve been trying to think of how to kill a phoenix so I could figure out what Blackstone is planning.”
“No one thinks you’re trying to kill beings, Bart,” Anso said. “If we’re being honest, Percy, Darius, Ignatius, and I have had this conversation. Not that we have anything to show for it.”
“I think I know,” Bart said. “The spell that trapped the guards was able to leech dark magic into their souls. When they regenerated, a tiny bit was still there. If Blackstone finds a way to insert a thread of magic into Ailpein’s soul, he might be able to trigger the kill switch.”
Grandfather would point to this discussion as proof of his fears. The context mattered, but he’d ignore that and focus only on the words. “It doesn’t work like that,” I said. “There’s no ‘switch’ to flip that sets it off. It’s about how our energy isfocused. When we die, we instinctively go to the place in between and regenerate. Blackstone would need to convince Grandfather not to go.”
“If the ashes don’t matter, why can’t he regenerate somewhere other than where Blackstone is holding him?” Thalion asked. “Why not regenerate back at the phoenix castle?”
Regeneration was a deeply personal aspect of a phoenix’s life. Openly discussing it with outsiders went against everything we were taught from an early age. I wanted to tell them to ask someone else because Grandfather had already hurt me enough, but I didn’t. I’d agreed to this task and needed to push through my discomfort.
“The short answer is we can’t change where we are reborn.” The hopeful expressions dimmed when the potential solution was cut short. “I’ve never tried, but others—many others—have tried. Wealwaysreturn to the place where we died.”
I waited for more questions, but no one spoke. The room suddenly felt small and stuffy. “I need some air.”
Percy met my gaze with a kindly expression. “There’s a small courtyard in the back of the house that’s warded. I’ll take you there.”
Grateful for the offer, I followed him up the narrow staircase. Percy led me out back to a garden surrounded by a low stone wall. The night air had the bite of winter, but after hours in the stuffy library, it felt like heaven against my skin.
“Thank you,” I said. “I needed the wind in my face.”
