“Well, I weren’t takin’ no chance that fucker got away. They only wanted to help. They would never hurt a lady. I swear, boss!”
“Right then,” I said, trying for a casual tone that utterly failed given the circumstances.
Above me, Devlyn clung precariously to a rusty scaffolding pole like a terrified monkey, holding a mangy kitten that was currently trying to claw its way under her skin. “They’re... they’re... GROWLING!”
Trying as hard as I could, I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Well,Chèr, that’s what they do.”
“Make them stop!”
“And just how would you suggest I do that?”
“I don’t care!”
“Out of curiosity, just how in the hell did you even get up there?”
“Trust me, it wasn’t like I had a choice, but when they saw the kitten, those things went psycho!”
The‘things’in question were Thore’s unique security deterrent. Two fully grown alligators named Nibblet and Kiki. Generally, they were pretty docile because Thore kept them very well fed. But something must have set them off, ’cause even I couldn’t get close to them as they continued to snap and hiss up at Devlyn.
“Just give them the kitten!” Braveheart shouted, and Thore lost his shit.
“NO!” the big guy screeched bloody murder. “That poor baby is scared to death. Look how it’s clawin’ at Devlyn! You hold on to that little kitten, Dev!”
Glaring at my critter-lovin’ brother, I snapped, “I swear to God, Thore, if that cat scratches my woman’s face, I’m gonna beat your ass!”
“Ain’t the kitten’s fault, boss,” Thore grumbled.
Worm sighed, shaking his head. “Survival of the fittest at its best. Kitten knows it’s at the bottom of the food chain.”
“Keep talkin’, Worm, and you will be too,” Thore threatened.
Munching on his bag of beignets, Donut chuckled as Nibblet opened his mouth, allowing Donut to throw a beignet into its mouth. “Hey, look, boss. Nibblet likes beignets too.”
“Donut, stop feedin’ the damn gators!” I barked, smacking a beignet out of his hand. “The last thing we need is Nibblet developin’ a sweet tooth.”
“Too late,” Donut replied with a smirk, pointing at the other gator. “Kiki’s already eyeballin’ the powdered sugar.”
Sure enough, Kiki was inching closer to the stray beignet Donut had dropped, her eyes fixed on it like it was the finest filet mignon. Thore, ever the animal whisperer, crouched down on the ground, hands outstretched like he was about to perform some kind of reptilian séance.
“Kiki,” he cooed, his voice dripping with faux sweetness. “You don’ want that junk, girl. Not good for ya. Bad for yer teeth.”
“Thore,” I growled, pinching the bridge of my nose. “She don’ care about her dental hygiene. She’s a damn alligator.”
“You don’ know her like I do,” he shot back defensively.
“Chèr!” I hollered again, trying to refocus the chaos. “You can climb down now. Thore will corral the gators.”
“Yeah, about that,” Devlyn called from her perch on the rafters. “I can’t!”
“What do you mean, you can’t?” I hollered back up, trying to sound reassuring. “Thore is putting the gators back in their enclosure.”
“I can’t!” My woman winced as the kitten scratched at her arms, trying to get to safety.
“Why not!”
“Because I’m scared of heights!”
