“I think we all knew you would.” He inclined his head. “Else, why allow Orin to say it at all? You aren’t one to tolerate such things.”
Orin coughed, amused. Tiiran bit his lip, winced at the slight pain, then pursed his lips instead. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know it would make me….” The words he wanted eluded him. “Warm,” he decided at last.
Orin coughed again. Tiiran reached up honey-slow to cover his mouth with his hand. Orin smiled against his palm.
Nikoly observed that, eyes dark, then turned back to the table and the tray. He had a handkerchief in his hand when he came forward, glancing up to Orin when he stopped in front of the chair. Then he was leaning over to gently wipe Tiiran’s face. If he knew he was wiping up drool and snot and tears, it didn’t appear to bother him.Nothingabout Tiiran’s current state appeared to bother him.
Tiiran took hold of his hand anyway, just for a moment.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t mind.” Nikoly resumed his delicate work, a slighttskescaping him when he cleaned up a speckle of blood from Tiiran’s lip. “I said as much, though I understand that your thinking isn’t the clearest right now.”
“How do you know that?” Tiiran wondered, distracted and annoyed for it. “Do you like this too?”
“Ah.” Nikoly looked from Tiiran to Orin, then straightened his shoulders. “Notthis, no. I like to be of use. Which can take many forms, including some similar to this one. But you could spank me if you wanted to. I wouldn’t mind, would even like you hurting me. You already know that.”
“Stop sayingspank,” Tiiran mumbled, ignoring Orin’s continued amusement.
“I would allow it,” Nikoly continued. “But I don’t think it would please me for the same reasons it pleases you. I’ve had a small cane used on me before and enjoyed it. I took it well,” he said proudly. “I would do the same for you. Whatever you like, Tiiran, gentle or rough.”
“Oh.” Tiiran reached for him, and thankfully, Nikoly extended his arm to let Tiiran hold him. “A cane? I don’t know if I can do that.”
Orin gave Tiiran’s hair a chiding tug. “He means you may use him however you please, kitten, as long as you use him, and praise him, and treat him well.”
Hurtandtreat wellseemed very different to Tiiran, or would have, if he hadn’t enjoyed Orin pulling his hair just then.
“You’re so pretty,” Tiiran told Nikoly breathlessly. He didn’t think about the cane again because it would lead to more questions, like how even after something like that, Nikoly was, according to Orin, still starving.Desperate to serve.“So strong,” he added, because Nikoly must be to take something like that without snarling as Tiiran would have. Nikoly dropped his head but glanced at Tiiran through his lashes. Tiiran knew that look. It meantpleaseand sometimes,won’t you kiss me again, Tiiran?“But what if I…?”
“Are you about to warn me again that you won’t be any good?” Nikoly asked before sharing another look with Orin. Almost immediately his attention was back to Tiiran. “Or ask if I’ll make fun of you? You’ve asked that more than once. Did someone do that you, bee?”
Tiiranfeltthe angry sound travel through Orin. He wriggled and looked away, trying to ignore the throb in his bottom when he moved.
“Is this something wemusttalk about?” No hiding, Orin had said. But Tiiran released Nikoly and turned to bury his face in Orin’s shoulder as much as he could. “Fine, if it will make you happy. There was an assistant named Fial. Library visitors and other assistants all thought he was wonderful.”
Nikoly was so gentle with him. “Tiiran.”
Tiiran waved a hand back and said nothing when Nikoly captured it. He also didn’t raise his head. “He and his friends used to take me with them to go ogle guards while they sparred. I wasn’t terrible looking, might even be pretty someday, he said. So I let him take me into the stacks a few times. Just kissing and hands. I’d never touched or kissed anyone before him. I was bad at it.”
Orin began to pet his hair. “Did he make fun of you?”
Tiiran tried to shrug. “Assistants talk. And it was very funny.Iwas funny. Funny looking, with fae blood. They all thought so. Library full of randy assistants and outguards who understand the games they play and not one of them thought I was….” Tiiran jerked upright, startling Orin. “Some were probably interested,” he allowed in a grumble, knowing Orin would say it if he didn’t. “But they would’ve likely mocked me for being my age and not knowing how to do any of it properly… or at all. Who else was I supposed to approach to learn once everyone knew I was terrible at it? You? Gorgeous, infamous Orin who rightly had no idea who I was? Or some other guard frightened of me and my temper?” Tiiran looked into Orin’s eyes, then swung around to consider Nikoly. “You’re so friendly and handsome, Nikoly. You don’t know what it’s like. I can’t get people to like me as you can.”
Nikoly looked so distressed that Tiiran pulled him closer. He leaned away from Orin to urge Nikoly to come down lower so Tiiran could pet the sadness from his face. “Po once slapped him,” he said to reassure them both, “if that helps you. Although I don’t know if that was why. It’s not your fault you’re so pretty, Nikoly,” he went on. “Though you certainly know how to use it.”
Nikoly inhaled, then exhaled long and slow. “Do you ever look in a mirror? You’re delicate, with hair like light through honey, and your mouth is… I stare at your mouth nearly as much as you stare at mine. Maybe more,” he admitted, smiling faintly when Tiiran gaped at him. “As for your eyes, the black is like storm clouds.”
“You like storms,” Tiiran remembered.
Nikoly nodded. “Though I also love when you’re happy and your eyes become a deep brown. Like they are now.”
“How you problem-solve without even realizing you’re doing it—for others, rarely for yourself. kitten,” Orin contributed helpfully, hands at Tiiran’s hips. “That mind of yours….” His tone suggested he liked Tiiran’s mind, very much. He dug his fingers into Tiiran’s soft places, almost certainly leaving more bruises, more claims. “Those clever, colorful insults. All that, plus a bottom that was made to turn red under my hand.”
“Has it really only been this Fial before us?” Nikoly asked with disbelief. “Are the rest of the outguards total cowards?”
“Apparently.” Orin rumbled it. “Or fools, fae bless them.”
Tiiran didn’t bother to address the reference to the fae.
