“Really,” Tiiran tried again. Exhaustion was making him slow, leaving him to blush where Nikoly could feel it and turn his head to allow him to work instead of protesting with more force. “A hard scrub would only be uncomfortable for a moment.”
“And yet you told me Orin was gentle with you.” Nikoly’s breath made Tiiran shiver.
“I did?” Tiiran couldn’t seem to remember any such conversation. Nikoly moved his free hand, sliding it into Tiiran’s hair to tug his head up. Tiiran… really should frown about it. But the pin was already loose and Nikoly’s touch wasn’t painful.
“Even if he does also want to put you over his knee.”
What went down Tiiran’s spine was too strong to be called a mere shiver. He opened his eyes, then promptly shut them again.
“He gets—ah—upset with me for not taking care of myself, as he sees it.”
“As anyone would see it, Tiiran most worthy.”
Tiiran blinked his eyes open and tried to meet Nikoly’s gaze but Nikoly seemed focused on his careful, gentle work. “You said that before. Does it mean something?”
“Yes.” Nikoly was silent so long, Tiiran thought that was meant to be his entire answer. “The Rossick do not have sworn guards the way many other noble families do. Some who are not of the Rossick are loyal to them and choose to serve them, but the Rossick have others within the family who swear to them as protectors, as watchdogs and helpers, as eyes-and-ears. But they don’t swear to protect the entire family as sworn guards do. They serve one or two chosen family members only. They’re not ordered to do this by tradition or by the head of the family. They do it because they want to. Because they feel that person, or persons, is worthy of it.” Nikoly exhaled heavily, almost wistfully. “I told you my mentor would admire how you work, and by that I meant, if you were Rossick, you would have people sworn to you as she does. They would be eager to.”
Tiiran turned his head, not giving a fuck about the wet cloth or the ink on his skin. “I’d accuse you of lying, but I can’t think of why you would.”
Nikoly glanced to him, then let his attention linger. “Orin is a patient man, I think.”
Tiiran frowned. “I don’t know what that has to do with anything you just said. But maybe I’m more tired than I thought. Oh, I left those books up there! I should…”
“They will be there when you return at dawn.” Nikoly put the rag on the counter and picked up the lamp again. “You should sleep.”
Tiiran was having trouble following him tonight. “Yes, but…”
“What would Orin say if he were here and saw you heading to bed this late, under protest?” Nikoly put a hand to Tiiran’s back to gently, firmly, nudge him from the room and toward the library doors. “Over his knee again?”
“Possibly,” Tiiran admitted, uncertain why, but it was too dark for his blushes to be seen. “Which is more of his teasing, so you know. He hasn’t…. That is… we don’t.” He pulled in a breath. “Orin is not my lover.” His voice was strange.
Nikoly looked at him, but said nothing while Tiiran fumbled for his key to lock the doors behind them. Nikoly had a key of his own at the moment, but Tiiran didn’t remark on it, glad to be looking away.
“But what would he say to find you like this? Exhausted, alone, hungry, getting stares from palace guards?” Nikoly asked that last part in a whisper.
“He would sigh and tell me to get myself something extra at breakfast, something only for me and no one else in the library. Or to leave early tomorrow night. Or both.”
“And you do what he tells you?” Nikoly’s voice was also strange, low and strained. “Tiiran, who obeys only the ruler and that only reluctantly, obeys one particular outguard?”
“Shh.” Tiiran bumped into Nikoly’s side. “No talk of rulers! And I… I do what he tells me because it makes him happy, and that….”
“Makesyouhappy?” Nikoly filled in, soft.
“Nothappy,” Tiiran clarified. That would be too strange. “It makes me feelwithout tangle. And sitting in a garden or eating a meal is a small thing to give Orin to make him speak warmly.” He stopped walking. Nikoly stopped a second after him, glancing around in alarm before seeming to realize Tiiran’s arms were crossed as Tiiran stared hard up at him. “If you laugh, I’ll throw you out of the library myself.”
Nikoly’s head went back, then slightly to the side. “Why would I laugh?”
“Oh.” Tiiran waited, then uncrossed his arms. “All right. But don’t tell the others. Po already teases me for it. And I know you heard what those outguards said, but it’s not like that, even if I… it’s just a game Orin and I play.”
“A game,” Nikoly echoed. “And in this game that many people happen to play, in and out of their bed sport, what does Orin do if you obey? If you sit in gardens, and eat meals, and allow yourself small pleasures like keeping the scent of roses near, or eventually place yourself in his lap?”
“Nikoly!” Tiiran exclaimed, stirring one of the palace guards falling asleep at his post some distance away. Tiiran crossed his arms again just to do something. “The things Orinsuggestsfor me to do are all things I want to do, even if I don’t know it at the time!”
“You said he was observant.” Nikoly froze Tiiran in place, then returned to his side to put his palm to Tiiran’s shoulder to urge him on. “To be ordered about in that manner is something many people want.” He saidmany peoplein a particular way.
“Yes,” Tiiran spat with sudden, though fleeting anger, “in and out of bed sport, you said.” His exhaustion must be catching up with him because his body was heavy. “I am not his duckling. You would make a much better duckling than I. You’re many things I’m not: good with people, handsome, skilled at things outside of copying books.”
“Is this the way to your room?” Nikoly let Tiiran take a few more steps, turning off a corridor to head down another one, and followed him without acknowledging Tiiran’s words. Tiiran nodded, having walked this way more than once with no conscious choice of direction, letting his tired feet carry him to the right place.
