Melis could never offer such a thing,insignificant and young as he was. What was Desire to a cyclone, oran earthquake, or childbirth, or a seed in the earth? What was hetothis? No god, little or large, would ever have offeredthemselves the way this human had, the way some humans did everyday all over the world while Melis passed them by and never gavetheir courage a single thought.
Melis was not strong enough to match him, thatwas certain. “But I am Melis, Brave Antero.”
“Faithful, you said before,” Anteroanswered, as if he preferred that epithet toBrave. “Is itthat you’d rather have me as your priest, devoted to you since Ican’t seem to have any other?” He knelt gracefully without warning,putting himself at Melis’ feet before looking up. “You already knowI worship you.”
Melis reached out to touch his face and barelychecked himself in time. He knew what he was meant to do, what anyother god, or human, might have done without hesitation withthisbefore them. He put his hands at his sides and keptthem there, biting his lip to contain a beast-like growl whenAntero let his mouth fall open.
“This is not all you desire.” Melis would notchange that by touching him, no matter how great thetemptation.
“So?” Antero didn’t deny it. “No one getseverything they want, and I want this much. You know I do.”
“Youdo not mindthis much,” Meliscorrected as if he could not feel Antero straining forward or thethirst in his mind to have Melis’ cock in his mouth. “I will notuse you. I am not Storm-Bringer or Mischief, who take. …Though Iwant to as I have never wanted anything. But I am only Melis.”
The moon’s silver glow was nothing to the shinewithin Antero at the words, as if Melis’ warnings merely pleasedhim more.
“You listened even when I thought I was alone,which means I wasn’t. I was never alone.” Antero’s eyes were noless deep with hunger in them. “‘Only Melis’ you say, as if you areinsignificant. But I tell you now, it was only Melis who keptcompany with me and came to answer to me. Why shouldn’t I desireyou?”
“Nearly everyone desires me in some way,” Melisadmitted with a sigh. “Theideaof me.”
“Not who you really are?” Antero asked as iffamiliar with the answer, because of course, he was.
Melis clenched his hands tighter and kept hiswings back though he shook with the effort. “You’re as clever asthey say. More than deserving of a… of a companion.” His strugglewas audible in his voice. “That’s why I came. I mean—that I havedetermined to find you one, if one exists. Stand. Please. I cannothave you there, Antero,please.”
Though gods should not beg, except perhapsIndulgence who might enjoy it, Antero listened to Melis’ pleadingand rose to his feet. Melis had to tip his head up to continue tosee his face. If Melis took on one of his other forms, he wouldn’thave had to. But he had come here as himself and to change now feltwrong.
Antero’s thoughts were a heated tangle: somefear, now, that Melis might leave or that Antero had offended him,then lust, heated and constant, and also a worry Melis didn’tunderstand. Then abruptly, the tangle was gone and Antero’s gazewas clear.
“You had to come to my chambers to find me acompanion?”
His tone made implications, but Melis stillcouldn’t think with him so close. He stumbled back a step beforeanswering. “Many rumors reach me, and I desired to….” He heardhimself being a donkey but could not be silent. “I wanted to seeyou for myself.”
Antero let out a breath, almost a laugh.“And?”
His thoughts were as clear as his gaze and yetMelis still could not focus on anything long enough to examinethem.
“You are as they say,” he admitted, thoughsurely Antero knew that. “You are more than they say. I don’tunderstand the ones who left your side. That is—Idounderstand because I know their yearnings, but if I were human, andyou looked to me for the other part of your soul, I would dowhatever I could to make the edges of mine fit. I would… no, that’snot how humans work, and that’s probably why they are so woundedwhen they leave you. Some edges might bump together well enough,but no amount of wishing could ever make them your match. You’retoo great.”
Antero had not stepped back. Melis looked upuntil their eyes met again even though Antero should see nothingbut the painted walls of the room.
“You sent away the ones you realized were onlyinterested in riches, or power, or purely your physical form.”Melis’ gaze dipped for a second despite himself, his palms tinglingto feel the half-hard length of Antero’s cock and hear Antero pantin his ear as he had done in his dream. His tongue was eager to dosomething, so he spoke. “I could feel their lust for you acrosscontinents. I heard the others, the ones who left you, bemoan theiraffection for you, their yearning to be your equal. They foundthemselveslacking, not you. You bare your heart to them butthey know…”
He shut his foolish mouth too late.
“What?” It was careful and quiet. “Tell me.Please.”
“They know you must have someone willing to dothe same—bare their heart—and humans are hesitant to do that.” Godsas well. “Do not be pained, my beautiful Antero. I don’t want youto be unhappy. I would do anything to…” Melis stopped, havingenough sense left to remember that even accidental vows had power.“I would search even the realms of the gods to find yourequal.”
Antero closed his eyes, then inclined his head.“I am honored to be favored.”
“Myfavored.” Melis’ tongue had growngreedy again. It made him say that, then rejoiced in the taste ofthe words. There was a pulse of interest from Antero, and then sucha wave of pleasure that he was surprised Antero could stay on hisfeet. But Antero was experienced as well as stronger than Melis. IfMelis showed age as humans did, he likely would not have appearedmuch more than twenty. Antero had years on him and had takencountless lovers within those years to have helped him learncontrol.
He might even keep that control if Melis touchedhim, giving Melis freedom to explore.
Oh. Melis had never understood the lureof Indulgence before. He could take all his favored had to give himand drown in Antero’s desire to be desired by him, be as selfish asany other god and take all of him, then leave him as so many wereleft in the epic tales.
Humans blamed Melis when that happened. Butthose humans, at least, he had never resented. Discarded,heartbroken, forgotten, who else was there for them to blamewithout risking the wrath of their divine former lovers?
Melis sucked in a breath. He didn’t want thatany more than Antero did. He had not wanted at all until he’darrived here. Well, he’d wanted small things like respect and forWar to shut his mouth. Nothing like this. That Melis would feelthis desire only once and only now meant something, as it meantsomething that a human tempted him.
