Little God
Desires streamed around the columns andcorridors of the temple complex with the force of a river inspring, spilling from windows and doors to rise high on the breezesfrom the sea below before the north wind caught them and carriedthem to Melis. He kept his wings at his back, his hands at hissides, his feet above the well-trodden paths around the templecomplex. The scent of food from the vendors outside the temple senta wave of new, more mundane desires through those leaving thetemples or doing business in the area. Stomachs rumbled with suddenhunger. The cold evening air made others long for the warmerclothes they’d left at home, fooled by the sunny afternoon intoforgetting that Autumn approached.
…that scarf looks so pretty with my hair,he’d be sure to notice me then…
“My home and the fire call to me, Skoris. Ican’t stay, though I wish I would.”
…haven’t the coin for a hand pie, but damnthose smell good…
“Not so many steps around this blasted templefor those of us without good shoes. That’s what the gods ought togrant us. I’ll fuckin’ ask them myself, I’m serious.”
…visited every shrine in there. I even prayedto The Fair-Shaped twice. Ankirra will definitely like me now. Shehas to—unless The Prankster has his way. Did I leave anything forhim? Fuck, I forgot…
Melis glanced toward that one, a figure weavingthrough the crowd heading away from the temples instead of backinto them to leave the offering he’d forgotten. Melis forgot him inturn, continuing on as he had been, following the long, low wallthat surrounded the complex and glancing more than once to theimages painted onto the stone.
The Bringer of Storms and Lightning. TheFair-Shaped. The heroes turned to stars or lesser gods. The Fatherof War and the One Beneath the Waves. Ever-Pregnant yetEver-Birthing Harvest standing with the eternally young Green.Green with her talons dripping blood. The Silent One. TheEver-Present. Vengeance and her children. The noble wolf’s headatop the shoulders of The Hunter. Owls and hawks, wolves and deer,bears feasting on berries or dressed as Indulgence.
Most of the elders appeared several times, inhuman-like forms or represented in some other way: swords, shields,a basket of grapes, fish, rabbits and eggs. Once or twice, thebright yellow and black of a bee hovered above the others, thepaint fresh and new. Or, instead of the stinging wasp, a laughingboy would lurk in corners, or a gorgeous youth with breasts and acock would beckon temptingly. More often, an older handsome man ora lush beauty with curves to rival The Fair-Shaped grinned cruellydown at the other gods, bees resting in the palms of their hands,readying to fly out at a moment’s notice as though even other godswere not safe.
Maybe that was why the other gods seemed toglare back though their paint was faded with age.
Melis paused, pulling at the hem of his shorttunic until he caught himself doing it and stopped. Humans carriedon around him, a few stumbling before righting themselves andglancing back to the empty spot in the path that had somehowtripped them. Melis tried to share a grin with the figures on thewall, but The Ever-Present glowered back, and the tired god ofHome, Family, and the Warmth of the Marriage Bed crossed theirarms, unamused.
The wind whispered more dreams. Higher on thecliff, the walls of the palace loomed, white and bright.
Wishes came from inside shops closing for thenight, scraps of dreams of more money or softer, personal yearningsfor food or bed that all humans had. Sometimes, they dreamed ofwhat might be done in that bed that was not sleep. Sometimes theydreamed of it with someone they were not married to, if they weremarried. Sometimes they dreamed of marriage. Sometimes, they didnot wait for their eyes to shut before they imagined their ideallovers.
Melis had found humans to be fairly obsessedwith the activities of the bedroom. He’d also found many of theelder gods to be afflicted with the same fever—another touchysubject, particularly with the eldest and most powerful of gods whooften behaved exactly like the humans they looked down upon.
And lusted after. And admired. And cared for asthey might care for their own children. And sometimes became sodeeply devoted to that the humans were granted immortality so a godwouldn’t pout for all eternity.
No one could pout like the elder gods, not eventhe human children Melis had observed.
The elder gods were a strange lot. But so werehumans, who seemed to exist in a constant state of wanting.
Well, perhaps notconstant. But it feltthat way, yearning calling to Melis no matter where he stood in thehuman world. Proximity to a temple hardly mattered; there waslonging behind every door in every house and in every breeze. Itspoke to Melis now, trying to disguise itself as resignation.
Melis bit back what he might have said inanswer, scoffing lightly instead and ignoring the human who turnedto look for the source of the sound before shrugging and walkingaway. The human wanted to be home to fall into the arms of theirnew husband. Melis smiled to himself at the simple, pleasing wishbefore catching sight of the smirk on the painted face of TheFair-Shaped as Mother. All-Mother looked entirely too smug, as ifshe held knowledge she should not.
Melis didn’t feel hunger, but like those humansbehind him around the food stalls, there was a tremor in hisstomach, a rumble. “Acraving,” Storm-bringer and Warhad both said, sneering in the face of Melis’ confusion. “If youhaven’t known hunger for yourself, you have no place creating it inothers, little wasp.”
Indulgence, heavily furred, lying on a bed ofpetals with roasted seeds at their lips, had smiled.They do notlike to feel powerless, Indulgence thought in a voice likefalling rain, knowing Melis would hear.For that, they do notlike you. But they don’t know what love truly is, so pay noattention to them.
Indulgence, curved and fat and ripe, had manylovers and equally as many beloveds. Melis didn’t understand butdidn’t need to; desire to Indulgence was the sweet taste of honeyandthe sting of the bee, but a sting Indulgence enjoyed.Even Desire Unfulfilled was an aspect of Melis that Indulgencewelcomed, moaning and bewailing disappointment and their brokenheart with abandon before some new fancy caught hold of them.
Indulgence had always been Melis’ favorite.Harvest turned her back on him. The Ever-Present continued toglower, as he always did. Bloodthirsty War sulked and staredlongingly at The Fair-Shaped, who did not think of War evenabsently. She longed for mirrors, birdsong, and mattresses offeathers, for mouths, or fingers, and legs spread for her.Life-Giver as she was, she did not and would not yearn for Battle.Not even Melis could make that happen.
Not that he would tell War that. Fucker deservedwhat he got. Which was a dry cock and a bed empty of the one helusted after. War might speak of love, but physical need was as faras his longing extended and Melis had no interest in answering it.Perhaps hecouldmake The Fair-Shaped want War, but he sawno reason to.
He had a million other wishes to consideranyway: rumors and prayers in the wind, curses muttered low as ifeven a lesser god wouldn’t hear his name invoked. Those cursingtheir fate were fortunate Melis was not inclined to wrath.
The wall around the temple complex ended atlast, and the path beneath him began a slow incline to the highestpoint in this city. If Melis had chosen to feel it, he would havebeen shivering at the cold in his simple tunic of linen. The skydarkened; Night busy at work crooning to the moon as it rose.Unaware of the song above them, humans around Melis ducked intohomes and lit fires to keep the world warm and bright. Behindwalls, they fought and fucked and shared meals. Some sat alone,content, others gazed out windows toward the sea, waiting forsomeone’s return. Still others looked up to where the stars werebeginning to shine and wished to not be so alone.
Melis didn’t see what the stars had to do withit. Most lonely humans could have fulfilled their own desires bysimply speaking to one another, which couldn’t bethatdifficult. Most human wants and needs were the same: food, shelter,pretty things, friends, affection, and, for most of them, sex.Melis didn’t need the first three, and didn’t have the last three,but he could have if he wanted. Humans could do the same if theirdesire was so great. At the very least, they could make offeringsto the right god about it, instead of pleading to The Warmth of theMarriage Bed, or to The Fair-Shaped in her aspect of PhysicalPleasure. Even Merriment, a lesser god, got prayers of gratitudefor friendship and affection, as if Melis wasn’trightthere.
“They put you on their friezes so as not tooffend you,” Night took a moment from serenading the moon towhisper to Melis. “It doesn’t mean they love you or evenunderstand you.I bother most of them too, except in thesummer when they welcome me—or really, the absence of Day.The only ones who welcome me are lovers.”
Melis flicked a hand up toward the moon, smilingto himself at the nearly inaudible chime of bells as the moonreturned some of Night’s admiration. Something the moon could havedone at any time, but perhaps it enjoyed the attention. Some neededto be prompted to share what was in their hearts.
