The outline of Lan paused at the side of his bed, possibly to regard Fen with pity. Fen couldn’t tell; his eyes had not yet adjusted the lower light. If Lan’s had, he didn’t remark on how Fen watched him.
Fen shook his head to clear the passionate thoughts away. “Should I mind it? I know what my family would think of it, but they are far away. And you said it was different here.”
“To them, an Earl’s work is more valuable than the mending?” Lan’s tone was briefly mean. He sat on his bed, his back to Fen once again, and reached up to pull his hair free of the knot, although Fen didn’t notice any unraveling of braids. “I thank you for the work and am glad you might have found purpose in it. But it’s not enough to convince me to leave your family alone, if necessary, or whatever else you might have been plotting in your pretty head.”
“If I was told to do it, I wonder if I would still want to.” Fen slid down onto his back, his gaze staying on the shape of Lan. “But it’s necessary, and Icando it, and… I want to. Being free also means that, doesn’t it?” He got no answer but continued. “As for plotting, I told you I wouldn’t plot on their behalf, except possibly for my mother, to let her return to the Bal… if the Bal do not choose to support the Acana. But you will have to face The Acana someday, however you decide to do it. He’s too powerful to be avoided.”
Lan’s grunt was a surprise. But he didn’t explain what it meant. He said, “But youhavebeen plotting.”
“I’ve been thinking,” Fen admitted. He was starting to see better in the dark.
Lan turned toward him. He hadn’t gotten into bed. “And?”
Fen abruptly had to look upward to the ceiling. “Do you think Dol was right when he said the fae led him to Race?”
The bed creaked. “I try not to think of the fae,” Lan said after some silence. “Respect them, yes, but what good does it do to think of them or their motives? They were here and abandoned us, according to some. According to Race, that is not at all true. But either way, their motives will never be known to me. So I act as I will.”
Fen frowned thoughtfully, but it seemed the answer that the Wild Dogshouldgive, so he finally nodded.
When he spoke, it was in a careful whisper. “If itweretrue… then I would wonder how it was that we stumbled onto those ruins. I am sure whichever noble claims those lands is aware of them. They weren’t completely unknown. But they were there waiting for us, with rough berries and blackberries grown together where there is little sun. Summer fruits in the autumn, all of them looking plump and sweet.”
The bed creaked again. “It’s no use wondering.”
Fen moved his head and saw Lan turned in his direction, likely peering at Fen and thinking Fen was ridiculous. But he also hadn’t told Fen to stop or indicated he ought to shut up and return to his embroidery.
“True,” Fen agreed softly, seeking Lan’s eyes in the dark. “But the ruins are a reminder. The way things are is not the way they have always been or will always be. And whether or not the fae meant for me to realize that, Ihaverealized it. But that makes sense, for I am in a new place, with new people, and a new future. So that’s the messageIwould find there… among others.”
“Did you meet a fae, flower?” Lan asked, low and grave. “Race said they might take an interest in you.”
Fen shook his head. He didn’t think he was the one the fae had an interest in, but wasn’t about to say so out loud. “As I told you, I have not been plotting—I have been thinking. The Earls don’t unite against you yet because of their pride. It wouldn’t let them admit you could be a threat, but now even The Acana has started to ignore that. He sent me out to strengthen his borders, but I will not be the last child sent off, and he has many to send.”
The air seemed to still.
Fen took a breath. “The Earls also have not acted against you as one because many of them are full of hatred and spite for each other from their constant warring. That has gone on for so long that families and lands have been destroyed, and rivalries only grow. But when Earls first came into being, it was to put an end to such conflicts. According to the old songs, the fae left us and there was violence. The first Earl was not soft-hearted, not if the tales are true, but they sheltered people behind their shield. That is the story and people have forgotten it.The Earlshave forgotten it.”
“All this because of some berries?” Lan wondered quietly. “Those are only stories.”
“Are they?” Fen returned. “Even if they are, they are stories the Earls tell. They are remindersfromthe Earls, so perhaps it is time someone gavethemsome reminders. They’re here to offer protection, not remove it.” Fen felt the weight of Lan’s stare but didn’t look away. “Someone to shake them by scruff of the neck to make them stop. To make them kneel if they will not listen—and remove their heads if necessary while they’re down there. Plenty of them lose those when fighting each other, but none of them have ever had to calmly face the same judgments they give to others.”
“And this someone should be me?” Lan’s expression would doubtless have been impossible to read even in the full light of the sun.
“Couldbe you,” Fen allowed, but it felt dishonest.
“Youarean Earl’s cub,” Lan said, marveling and mocking at the same time. “Scheming without seeing a battle for yourself.”
Fen had never seen any fighting beyond sparring among the holding’s guards. The words still stung. “I wasn’t judged fit to learn combat skills.”
Lan turned back to face the other side of the tent. “Not to give your family credit, but that feels right to me. I wouldn’t have you fighting, either. Mending is better. And whatever else you like to do when you aren’t washing my smalls or cleaning my armor.”
“The loom, sometimes,” Fen admitted. “It takes strength but I found it restful.”
“Of course you did.” Lan snorted. “It was practice for your plotting and planning, but with linen and wool.”
Fen clasped his hands over his chest on top of his fur blanket. “The Acana thought we had weavers enough.”
“Is it his head you’d like me to take first?” Lan asked. Fen couldn’t tell if it was meant to mock him or not.
“I wouldn’tlikeyou to take heads.” Fen wasn’t even sure that sort of violence would have an effect on all of the Earls. “You might also create divisions between the Earls and more prominent nobles, and by that, leave them weakened enough that someone in the future may do what I said. It might not even involve much fighting of your own. The smaller rulers see you as an example. And, so far, you have given them respect as the Earls have not by leaving them to their territories and their business. You could make many alliances while doing this. Perhaps even some that will turn to true partnerships, with hands joined in marriage.”
