Lan scrubbed a hand over his face. “A place could be found for you in one of the other tents, even if it would be a place perhaps not suitable for the child of an Earl.”
Fen lowered his head to stare at the ground under his feet. “I have slept in the leaves and the dirt many times now and done well, I thought. At least, once you—once I was warmer. Any place will be fine, I’m sure.”
“Tellan could have found you ‘any place’ and yet…” Lan paused for so long that Fen raised his head to see why. Lan was watching him. “You told me you felt safe. Do you not feel safe around the others?”
“They’re fine,” Fen assured him. “But I don’t know where they all went.”
“And now you’re surrounded by strangers?” Lan’s interest was heavy but warming; Fen didn’t know why it made him tremble. “You could have made a friend already.” Lan frowned, then continued on harshly. “But never mind that. You’re free. There are no Acana here. Youdoknow that? Regrettably, you likely wouldn’t survive long on your own if you left this camp, and I can’t change that until spring at least. But you’re not my captive any more. You’re free to do as you like. That’s what safe should mean to you. You don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to.”
Fen’s eyes came up on their own.
Lan stared back at him for long enough for Fen to worry that he ought to look away, and then to wonder why his heart was pounding and worry over that too.
“You want to stay here.” Lan pronounced it slowly, as if he wasn’t sure of his own words. Fen forced his gaze away. Lan took an audible breath. “I suppose this tent is the best place for an Earl’s son, but I’ve no intention of giving up anything to Earls and that includes my bed.”
Fen shook his head forcefully. “I wasn’t asking that. I wouldn’t.”
“You weren’t asking anything,” Lan pointed out. “And it seems you won’t. What did The Acana do when you asked for something?”
Fen moved his shoulders in as close to a shrug as he could manage. “He was not inclined to favor me. I can sleep outside. Ican. I will eventually, at least.” Lan thought Fen should ask for something. That was what he’d meant with that question. Fen licked his bottom lip nervously but formed the words. “Perhaps a spare blanket would help, if you have one.”
“Fuck,” Lan said fiercely despite how he whispered it. He narrowed his eyes. “You feel safest with the Wild Dog?”
“I thought you didn’t like that name.”
“But not enough to ask for what you want,” Lan carried on as though Fen had said nothing.
“Do you want me to ask for something else?” Fen returned and felt himself frowning.
Maybe he shouldn’t have. Lan frowned in response to Fen’s frown and then crossed his arms. “You look confused.”
Fen nearly opened his mouth but controlled himself in time. Then he remembered that Lan had just told him he was safe here, and there was no Acana to irritate, so he decided to answer. “I don’t know how to interpret this situation.”
“Do you believe I’m angry with you?” Lan didn’t sound angry, so Fen shook his head. For half a moment, Lan’s mouth curved up, then he smoothed it away before studying Fen again. “The only spare space in here is on the ground, though the tent might keep the wind away, that’s true.”
Fen’s mouth fell open. “I can sleep here?”
“If the camp gets more crowded, all the tents will be filled to bursting soon anyway,” Lan answered, glancing to the door and then to the bed before meeting Fen’s eyes again. “And I have not restricted your movements.”
Lan made decisions in silences and around spaces. Fen had forgotten. Hehadn’tbeen restricted. If he happened to stumble into one of Lan’s councils, the others would stop talking, or move, or wait for Fen to politely excuse himself. But he’d never actually been told to leave.
That seemed something he should think about, so he would, but later.
“Oh.” He bowed his head to show his gratitude. “I’ve no objections to your tent, if I won’t bother your spouses or lovers. Let me know if that happens and I will find somewhere else to go.”
Lan slowly tipped his head to one side. “My spouses or lovers?” he echoed incredulously, then gave another small half-smile. “Do you imagine me with hordes of them? Hardly that, even before I chose this path. And I’m not The Acana, taking all I can get from my alliances.”
“Do I imagine you?” Fen asked in return, breathless when he should not be. “With others?” His voice seemed too high. He tried again. “Not hordes. But surely….”
“It’s already a risk for everyone to be here with me, and we both know that my fate will likely not be a happy one.” Lan’s expression didn’t tell Fen what Lan felt about that fate. “So you don’t need to blush for me and any spouses. Or frown when I tell you that.” Fen touched his face, startled to realize he was frowning again. Lan sighed. “I’m happy for Race and Dol and any others who find love. But the people who have come here aren’t looking to me for that—I’m no Flower-of-the-North. You’re still frowning.”
Fen was the Flower-of-the-North and he did not care for it.
“You’re the Wild Dog,” Fen said, foolish and confused again.
“Precisely,” Lan replied, as if that meant Fen agreed with him. “I’ve been waging war on the Earls. Who would bring a lover into that?”
“You would.” Fen raised his head in time to catch Lan’s startled stare. “What you’ve claimed, you keep, you said. Or that is what I thought you meant. So if you had a lover, they would be here with you. You would keep them. And I imagine,” Fen was so hot, even now, “they would want to be kept.”
