Fen threaded a needle and pretended not to hear that Race’s warning had come too late for some. That was fae business now.
“You look quite content up there.”
Lan’s voice brought Fen’s head up so quickly Fen was a little dizzy with it, although not enough to fall from his perch.
He was even more startled when Lan approached him. Fen held very still, looking at Lan in full light, catching the reddish glints in his hair and the lack of a traveling cloak, noting how Lan’s cheeks above his beard were flushed, probably more from a recent scrubbing than from the cold.
Lan’s observation had a lilt at the end, almost making it a question, so Fen bobbed his head and felt for a moment like an awkward bird.
“I like sewing, and I am finally useful.” He bobbed his head again, not sure what else to do, and nearly startled from his perch in truth when Lan only continued to draw nearer.
“Then I’ve some more mending for you, Earl’s cub, if you don’t mind.” Lan had folded cloth in one hand and finally stopped to the side of Fen’s heap of stones, leaving his face level with Fen’s knee.
He glanced at Fen’s patchwork there, then raised his head. Fen looked down at him and felt his tongue grow too big for his mouth.
“I… no. I mean, yes, I don’t mind.” The silliness of his own words made him flinch, as though a sibling or The Acana himself was there to strike, so he forced a deep breath into his lungs and tried again. “I’d be happy to.” He stuck his needle into his sleeve to keep from losing it, then held out his hand to take the cloth from Lan and unfurl it in the light.
An undershirt of Lan’s, judging from the size and the linen used to make it, with a tear along the bottom. Simple enough to repair. Fen nodded his acceptance before stowing it away to work on next.
Lan did not speak. Neither did he move away again. Fen glanced down and found he was being studied. He supposed Lan didn’t often see Fen during the day either, although that was hardy Fen’s fault.
He picked at the woolen socks on his lap, showing nerves, but Lan wouldn’t care as others would.
“Will you wear such rough spun to meet the Earls too?” Fen wondered aloud, then regretted it, although he didn’t call back the words. “As you surely must, at some point, I mean. They won’t understand or respect such a decision,” he went on, no less nervous at speaking his mind. But Lan didn’t interrupt or leave, so Fen’s thoughts kept spilling from him. “The dull colors make sense here in the trees but nobles love the chance to show off bright shades and intricately patterned fabrics to each other. Though others still celebrate older ways, that is certainly true. The Bal… the Bal do some things wearing only powdered dyes on their skin.” Fen picked at the socks again. “If you stand before the Earls defeated, the rough spun will be a symbol they don’t care about. If you defeat them, it will be a symbol to infuriate them. But if you intend to talk with some of them, you will need more. Wear these clothes if you like, but let the Earls know you wear them intentionally. Perhaps dress Heni or Race in finer clothes and have them flank you. I could… I could help you there, if better cloth and more thread were available.”
“Is that what you have been thinking of while you do our mending and help Ati?” Lan spoke at last.
“Clothing?” Fen didn’t see what was wrong with discussing the matter. Nobles loved fine clothes and appearances mattered.
“My future with the Earls,” Lan clarified.
“It’s everyone’s future.” Fen reclaimed his needle with its tail of thick thread only to stick it back into his sleeve when his fingers felt stiff and clumsy. “If you find me the cloth, I can also make you gloves for the winter.”
“Youwill need gloves first, I think,” Lan remarked, strangely mild even as he reached up to free the end of the thread from where it caught the edge of one sock.
Fen didn’t know why his voice had a tremor and chose to ignore it. “The lesser nobles might like you more for not competing with their little fineries. They might be more inclined to listen to someone who doesn’t rub their smaller wealth in their faces as the Earls sometimes do.”
“Hmm.” The sound might have meant anything. Lan reached out again, catching Fen’s hand and then pulling up the sleeve to reveal the rope around Fen’s wrist. Fen stared at it too, but mostly he stared at Lan’s hand. Lan was silent for several moments, then released him before saying quietly, “You know you don’t need to wear that now.”
Fen pulled his hand to his chest, using his other hand to make sure the rope stayed in place. He didn’t know how to explain why he’d kept it. “It’s a comfort,” he said at last.
“A comfort?” Lan raised both eyebrows and Fen wanted to ask if the action tugged on the jewelry pierced through one of them. “It’s a mark you were a captive.”
Fen glanced away. “It means I am here. That I amsupposedto be here.” He paused and waited but Lan didn’t object, so he looked back down to him before trying to explain again. “It means I am safe. That I am yours.”
The sun behind the clouds was fierce. No cold winds seemed to touch the fae palace. No winds seemed to touch anything. Lan stared up at Fen, drew in a breath, then let it out. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse.
“Are you trying to influence me?”
Fen frowned his confusion. “Are you saying I could?”
Lan drew in another breath. He left his hands at his sides though they were clenched tight. “I’m just a man, flower. Not whatever you might think. You cannot say…. I’m not an Earl.”
Fen tipped his head to one side in imitation of the man below him. “Yes, I know.” He had missed something in their conversation, which was what came of The Acana deciding Fen was useless and keeping him from important talks; Fen missed nuances other would spot easily. “You’re not a hero from a story or a powerful Earl with a holding and countless soldiers to die for you. That’s what I worry over. You’re human and vulnerable, and I would like to help you.”
“To help me,” Lan echoed. He studied Fen’s patched knee. “Help mehow, Flower-of-the-North?”
Fen had been hoping no one remembered the title of the song The Geon had commissioned for him. But he didn’t comment on Lan knowing it.
