Lan’s arm tightened, drawing Fen that much farther back until there was no space at all between them. His voice was a rumble. “It’s good, cub. Sleep now.”
Fen nodded before burrowing his face under the edge of the blanket, amazed to realize he was already half asleep at the order. He exhaled as he closed his eyes. “Thank you.”
“I… you’re welcome?” Lan answered as if he was as an uncertain as Fen had been, but then finished with another clear, though whisper-soft, “Fuck.”
Lan did not elaborate, or if he did, Fen was asleep and didn’t hear it. He stayed wrapped close around Fen until sometime early in the morning, when he rose to begin his day. He left the blanket and its lingering warmth with Fen.
Seven
Fen went about the next day with a folded blanket that he kept in Ati’s cart as they headed further into the foothills and his mind everywhere but where it should have been. He tripped over his words several times and blushed like a child when Ati rolled his eyes and declared him “a flower lost among the roses.” Fen didn’t know what that meant, but knew that others must have seen his night’s companion and were wondering about it.
He also knew Dol would have something to say about the matter and so avoided him, changing the subject whenever Dol requested conversation and brought up Lan, and outright walking away when Dol turned serious and seemed ready to ask him embarrassing questions.
Fen laid the blanket out a considerable space from him that night, and curled up alone as he usually did. He shivered and listened for the sound of Lan settling into his own bed, of course hearing nothing. He didn’t sleep and moved more than once, until finally a long sigh preceded the splay of a hand over his waist a moment before he was hauled back against Lan’s chest.
Half of the blanket was tossed over him before Lan’s arm settled over his ribs and his breath warmed the shell of Fen’s ear. “Will you freeze to death before you ask?”
“I didn’t want to assume,” Fen explained himself quietly. He didn’t know if Lan was aware his friends and advisors thought Fen ought to bed him, but couldn’t see how he wouldn’t be.
Lan’s friends probably wanted him to have some pleasure among his days of fear and fighting and struggle. They likely saw how Fen looked at him and thought Fen would be agreeable. Fen couldn’t deny that he stared at Lan too much or that he liked how he felt when Lan touched him. He even thought he would like more, or at least not mind it, which had never happened before. But Fen had not run from The Geon just to play bedwarmer to appease someone else. He wanted to be useful in other ways, exactly as he had told Lan when they’d met.
Anyway, Fen might have been able to beckon The Geon to him whether or not he wanted to, but he had no knowledge of how to seduce anyone and suspected Lan would not like the idea of being seduced. Not by Fen at least.
For that reason maybe more than the others, he kept the words behind his teeth and burrowed into Lan’s warmth while that was available to him.
The next night, he turned on his own to stare into the darkness and whisper, “Lan?”
He was enfolded in Lan’s arms within moments. Lan’s eyes were likely already closed, his mind half in sleep. He mumbled, “Good. Good boy,” against the back of Fen’s head, then released a breath and slipped fully into sleep and whatever he dreamed of.
Fen lay in the dark, shaking, burning down to his toes and up to his fingertips, and took longer than he should have to follow Lan into slumber.
He snuck away before the sun rose so he could conceal himself in the woods and hope none of those on watch could see or hear him stroke his prick or moan and bite his lip to keep the sound inside. It was bad enough feeling such fires when Lan barely spoke to him and having Dol or Race wink at him when they caught him looking for Lan across the fire. He didn’t need everyone in the camp knowing he’d been driven to this.
But Fen had never felt anything like he had for the words Lan softly rumbled into his hair and didn’t have time to examine why before he finished. He turned his face to the bark of the tree supporting him and hoped his shaken gasp did not travel far. Ati praising him pleased him very much, because Ati’s praise was rare and hard to earn, and yet Fen did not sting and tingle and squirm inside for it.
Perhaps it was that Ati did not touch him as Lan did. But Fen shouldn’t think of it now, and pushed the memories away so he could run to clean himself and prepare for another day of travel. He was grateful his leaving hadn’t woken Lan, at least, and that no one remarked upon his rising so early.
But that night, he set himself up for more embarrassment without any thought except that he wanted to be warm and for Lan to keep him that way. He woke in the morning with his face to Lan’s chest and Lan’s cock hard against his hip, and crept away to the edge of camp again to deal with what that did to him. Then, instead of staying away, he went back, and was grateful for the darkness and for how he hadn’t woken Lan. He slipped into Lan’s arms for a few more moments of rest and hoped Lan’s dreams of whoever had stirred him were good ones.
Eight
Heni walked at Fen’s side for a while, looking ahead as if she could see through the trees to the head of their long, winding trail around the ancient trees to wherever Lan was. The trees were thicker and larger here, slowing their progress, especially when Ati’s cart got stuck between some roots.
“Did you know you snore when you’re sleeping deeply?” Heni remarked after a while.
Fen shrugged. “So I was told.” After a moment, he peered up at her. “Are you saying I’m keeping him awake?”
Heni made a sound, not exactly a word, not exactly a cough. “It’s not that bad. I happened to be up, which was why I heard it. And Lan turned you and you stopped.” Fen tried to determine if he was mortified or if his flush was for the thought of Lan’s hands on him again. Heni continued without seeming to notice Fen’s distraction. “I’m mostly surprised it doesn’t bother him. He’s a light sleeper out here, which I don’t blame him for.”
“Oh.” Fen considered. “I thought the warmth was helping him sleep better. Is it…?” He stopped walking. Heni stopped too, looking back at Fen in confusion. “Am I in someone’s way?” Fen admitted to his worry. If there was another friend of Lan’s who could return to his camp and not be pleased to see Fen there, Fen ought to know.
“If you were, they would have said so by now.” Heni didn’t seem any less puzzled, as though something about Fen was a riddle to be solved. “But obviously there is not. The Wild Dog isn’t going to trust easily, and he won’t want to endanger someone who might be captured to use against him. But more importantly, Fen-flower, youareaware of the danger of being close to him, yes? He would warn you of it all day if given the chance.” Lan had many opportunities to talk to Fen and hadn’t, but Fen didn’t interrupt Heni to say so. “You’re comfortable with that?”
“Oh,” Fen said again. “He did speak of that when we discussed an alliance between us. I said yes then and I would say it again now if he asked. Lan thinks, or I believe he thinks, that people are with him only because they dislike what the Earls have done and not because they also admire him. He doesn’t understand why what he does means so much. I would make him see, if I could.” Fen frowned but resumed walking. “Maybe that’s why he avoids me.”
“Maybe,” Heni agreed with a light in her eyes. “Now, since Dol’s ankle is getting better, we need to find something else to occupy your time. Had any thoughts there yet?”
Fen had, in fact.
