G.G.’s sigh was almost longing.
Trevor made another note, then looked up. “What else?”
He was unprepared for G.G. staring at him as though Trevor was some sort of adorable marvel. Or for how G.G. said, slowly and carefully, “First, tell me about Sky.”
That was very possibly another test. But Trevor sat back too and realized that though he was excited, he wasn’t upset, or even really surprised. It was a necessary conversation, and anyway, he liked talking about Sky, even when it was unpleasant truths he didn’t want to acknowledge.
“Sky talks with his hands a lot.” He didn’t know why he started there, but tried to gesture to demonstrate what he meant. “Graceful. Constantly in motion unless he’s hyperfocused on something. I try to draw his hands sometimes for art references—for magic, spellcasting, that kind of thing—but also because it’s just beautiful, how he moves.Whenhe moves. He can sit in a computer chair while working and not notice an entire day going by. He feeds on information. Helovesinformation. And he processes it in a way that people admire… and pay him for. If someone he knows mentions something they might need or are curious about, he will look it up so that he can talk with them about it or help them. He plans campaigns and paints miniatures for fun, and knows things about movies I’ve never heard of. He could probably quote Tolkien’s appendices at you if you wanted.” Trevor’s smile was only vaguely sad. “If you surprise him with a video chat, he will more than likely be in his underwear, if that.” There was a spot at the back of Sky’s neck that, when tickled, made him snort laugh. He had a small gap between two of his front teeth because he’d refused to wear his retainer as a kid and still did. “He wants so much but he never says it. It has to be teased or dragged out of him, and he worries he’s forced me into doing that. I don’t know if he ever tried to find someone else to dominate him, but for all that he loves other people, I don’t think he trusts them very much, so he probably hasn’t. If he worries that he’s forcing me, I worry that he only finds me convenient.”
G.G. made a tiny sound as if he might interrupt but then didn’t.
“We were friends for several years. More acquaintances at first, through mutual friends and then the gaming group, and grew closer over that time. We dated a year, a year and a half. Then he got a job offer two states away and I told him he should go because he was bored here. Which he was. He’s thriving there, in his Sky way. And he will only do better once he finds someone to care for him—physically, I mean. Sky is, as they say, going places.”
“And you’re not?” G.G. raised his eyebrows again. “You’re writing a novel—drawing one. Whatever.”
Trevor shrugged so he wouldn’t click the pen. “I have no idea if it will be any good. Or even if it’s good, that it will sell. I don’t need reassurance about that when I say those things, by the way. That’s just facts.”
G.G. lowered his eyebrows. “Aside from that. You take care of your grandmother. That’s also a job. A noble one.”
Trevor rolled his eyes. “I want to kiss you when you say things like that. But to stay on subject, like, look at you.” G.G. had no call to make a surprised face. “Look at the wonderful things you can make. You owned a business. You can make money even without a business. You’re like him, you know. You and Sky are both special.”
G.G. made that face again but didn’t explain it. “You told me about him. Did you tell him about me?”
“Yes.” Trevor met his stare. “But Sky and I aren’t dating. Not exactly. Maybe we would again if he were closer, but he isn’t and he isn’t going to be because he needs a job that utilizes all or at least most of his big brain, and that’s not here.”
“I didn’t ask if you were dating.” Pointed, and a bit mean for G.G., but Trevor nodded.
He wasn’t shaky. He made sure he wasn’t. “Sky is my best friend. And occasional…” no, that was wrong, “notoccasional sub, even if he’s difficult about telling me what he wants. And we are not good at being broken up. Possibly because our reasons for breaking up were… lies. And true. But also lies.” Trevor sighed noisily at himself for explaining it badly. “You probably don’t want any of this now?” He waved at himself, at the mess that he was. “Like the grandma lifestyle wasn’t bad enough. This is me. Dragon porn, and a sort of tragic relationship with an ex, and very few friends.” The gaming group might not have even noticed he was gone. “No career. No real money. I’m fine taking care of you but I could see all the rest convincing you to go elsewhere. If you wanted to, I wouldn’t blame you. I am… good at satisfying people and fussing over them afterward. I am probably a bad choice to date.”
“Trevor,” G.G. said quietly.
Trevor carried on over the interruption. “I would date Sky. I would date you. I am obviously very in love with Sky. I think you’re amazing and want to know you more. I should probably go live in a cave.”
“Then you’d end up like me.”
Of all the things G.G. could have said.
Trevor scowled at the sexy, soft nerd in front of him. “Someone should be taking care of you.”
He had no idea why G.G. was still sitting there, regarding Trevor with tired, fond interest. “But you want to take care of Sky.”
“I want to take care of you both!” Trevor snapped and then shut his mouth hard and stared at G.G. without moving. “Saying what you want out loud kind of hurts,” he observed a moment later after finally blinking.
“Yes.” G.G. regarded Trevor with real warmth in his eyes. “But some of us like that.”
Trevor just breathed. He was maybe a little shaky.
As though he didn’t see that, or saw it and didn’t care, G.G. continued, “Thank you for today. I’d like more of that, more of you.” He took a breath. “I don’t know what you think you are, or why you think it, but you should consider what you do have. I’ve found that helps. Also… spinning fantasies about your new neighbor to pass the time. I want to see more of you and I don’t mind sharing. I don’t expect a happy ending anyway. You shouldn’t worry about that for me.” G.G. even smiled. “I’ll be content with this.”
Trevor raised his head, his eyes already narrowed. “I want to give you that. I want you to have a family that’s good. A family like mine… like this one. The one you said I had. Me and Grandma and Sky… and you, even if all you’ll allow is you kneeling for me.”
It burned but Trevor didn’t care.
G.G.’s pink was steadily darkening. He glanced away, swallowed, then glanced back, giving a start to find Trevor hadn’t looked away. After a moment, he nodded, making Trevor’s heart leap. Then he said to the table, his hands still pressed flat to its surface, “There’s room for more than just me in that garden, Sir—Trevor.”
Trevor stood up. He had to. But he didn’t approach G.G. because they weren’t done yet. “When you’re ready to call me that, I think I’ll like it.”
G.G. was wracked by another shiver. “I’ll want you to hurt me.”
