He was a little hungry too.
When Trevor finally got back to the house, his grandmother kept her gaze strictly on the TV and asked no questions.
She was the best.
Trevor went to his room for a new shirt, then grabbed Ellie and headed out for a long, thoughtful walk.
Chapter Nineteen
After his eventual shower, alone in his room on his bed with some cooking show playing on his laptop that he wasn’t paying attention to, Trevor got a frustrating message.
You’re being quiet, Sky dared to say, as though he wasn’t the one who had been too busy to talk.
Trevor stared at the words for a good, long while, reaching over to turn off the cooking show and sit in broody silence.
I’m not going to get in your way, he typed finally, holding his phone afterward to watch the tiny dots tell him Sky was working on an answer.
In my way?He imagined Sky’s eyebrows raised.
I’m trying to do better.Trevor had done all right with G.G. today but he was so tired of fucking up. Sky must be tired of it too.
But Sky answered in a quick, typo-ridden snap:I keep tellng you u can do anythng u decide to do.
I make a lot of mistakes, Trevor typed, but then deleted it.Hope the campaign went well. Tell me about it?
The tiny dots went wild. Flashing and then disappearing. Flashing again. Sky trying to get his thoughts in order.
Right now I’m trying to be patient, he answered at last.I left clues, but people rarely follow those, do they? They do things I can’t anticipate.
Trevor shook his head. There was so much Sky must want and couldn’t ask for, and Trevor wasn’t clever enough to pick up on the signs.I’m sorry.
??
Trevor explained himself.That I didn’t give you what you wanted. I’m sorry.
More dots. Trevor watched them while his stomach tightened and tightened, making him grateful he hadn’t managed dinner.
He wondered if Sky sighed.I didn’t even know what I wanted half the time. No that’s not really true. Admitting it is difficult. I literally make you force it out of me.
Trevor scowled.Make me?
I worry sometimes.That was one message. The rest came altogether.That I pushed you into this. I mean I knew. Sort of. I saw it in you, like, looking at your drawings and knowing how talented you are.
Sky.It was all Trevor typed but he didn’t get a chance to send it or add anything else because Sky sent a stream of anxious fears.
I saw it but maybe you wouldn’t have acted on it outside of like, fairly normal stuff, like handcuffs or spankings if I hadn’t made you. I worry about it sometimes even though I know that you would think that wasn’t very smart boy of me.
Trevor had never actually spanked Sky but now he was thinking that he should have, that Sky had been bratty on purpose to get him to.
They had gone about this so backwards.
Still scowling, Trevor sat up.You didn’t force me.That was important to say first.But you could’ve asked me.
I can’t.He could almost hear Sky’s whine.But you give me what I want anyway. It must be exhausting.
It’s not exhausting.Trevor didn’t lie. But he paused, not to torture Sky, to give himself the moment to think.I think you should tell me what you want or what you might want. In some way that’s clearer than you have already. Just to give me an idea to start from, so I’m not always guessing. Even after… I don’t need a review. But you could tell me what was good or bad.He paused again.That sounds needy.
No dots. Then,I don’t think that sounds needy. That sounds like something I should’ve done. I’m sorry.
