Then he went into his bedroom to sit at his wobbly desk and flip the pages of his sketchbook back to the potential main characters. The ones he should be focusing on and not some monsterfucking interlude.
He should work on the bigger plotline anyway, and stop getting distracted by remarkable wizards or warriors with pierced nipples. They probably weren’t the only emotionally stunted characters Trevor could dream up. His brain was obsessed with them right now because he was frustrated and horny and it bothered him that the wizard would go back for someone like that but for no one else, and that the warrior wouldn’t even expect that much.
The warrior had learned to be self-sufficient. He didn’t need help. Whatever the dragon gave him probably freaked him out on some level. It wasn’t what he actually needed; it was just what was there. He couldn’t accept the dragon’s or the wizard’s protection because he didn’t understand it.
It was no wonder G.G. was so guarded. Had anyone in his family shown up for him when his cat died? The cat had probably had to be put to sleep, and probably with little warning. Cat illnesses could be like that. Had G.G. even told his family Pumpkin died, or had he thought, known, they wouldn’t care?
Trevor shouldn’t be thinking about this. G.G. hadn’t shown up. He’d changed his mind for whatever reason: cat puns, nerd references, Trevor’s big nose, it didn’t matter. He’d changed it and that was the end of that.
It was possible that something had come up, that G.G. hadn’t come for some other reason, but G.G. had fantastic manners and would have knocked on his door to tell Trevor that. Not showing up was probably nicer than letting Trevor go over to his house again with food and a hopeful expression. Trevor would be nice in return and not bother him anymore.
He waited until it was very late to go for his last walk, taking Ellie out when the street was dark and lights were shining from G.G.’s upstairs windows but not the downstairs. Trevor supposed he had options; he just didn’t feel like considering them at the moment.
Start driving to the city more. Save up for one of those Domming 101-type seminars so he could learn how to be less obnoxiously forward, or at least less dorky, and keep his domestic fantasies to himself. He wondered if that was what G.G. had done after getting rejected so many times in so many ways by the people he cared about; retreated further and further until he was all alone. Then he shook his head and shoved the thought away because it wasn’t his business.
One thing he was not going to do was push anymore. He would leave Sky alone and do the same for G.G. except to wave across the court when he saw him. Work talk only with Sky, if Sky even wanted that. Or just gaming, if that was all they had left.
Trevor could do that, and find an outlet somewhere else. Which he probably should have done before.
But he thought he was allowed to be sad for a while. To mope and take care of his grandma and work on his project like it was the only thing in his life that mattered.
His main pairing should be a Tall and a Small, he finally decided, coming home with a weary Ellie. People always liked those. They could be vanilla and still fuck nasty, eventually, and be far less emotionally exhausting to contemplate.
He didn’t think about Sky not sleeping despite Sky’s assurances the night before that he was trying to. The gaming group chat was active, reminding Trevor belatedly that there’d been a game scheduled and he’d never gotten back to Sky about it.
He didn’t even remember the details of the campaign but skimmed through the chat comments made earlier as everyone had been getting ready and responded to one or two people before getting into bed.
Sky definitely would not be sleeping anytime soon tonight but that was not Trevor’s problem. It wasn’t even actually a problem. It was only a game and staying up late for those was normal. If that added to Sky’s general exhaustion, it still was not Trevor’s concern.
He called Ellie up onto his bed and cuddled her in the dark until a scratch on the door told him Mr. Tammy wanted in as well. That was unusual but not unheard of, so Trevor sighed and got up to let him in too.
“Nice family I’ve made for myself,” he commented to the both of them, though Mr. Tams had come in to get Ellie to groom him and not for Trevor.
Trevor stared up at the ceiling. He could put his project on hold since it wasn’t like anyone was waiting breathlessly for it to come out. He’d take on more commissions and save up. Get a desk from IKEA. Maybe get a day job again when it was safe to.
His phone chimed. He seriously considered not answering it, then sighed noisily because he knew he would.
You were in the chat, Sky observed as if that meant something.I figured you would be busy so I planned around you. But if you want to join the campaign later, I can work you in.
Trevor felt like the biggest loser on earth, pity-invited to his ex’s game.
It’s fine. Don’t worry about me.He even added a smiling emoji.
He should have known better.
You ok?Sky pressed.
Enjoy the campaign,Trevor answered with another smiling face, then put his phone down and didn’t pick it up again.
Chapter Seventeen
Aside from his jog and then his breakfast of a granola bar, Trevor spent the first half of the next day sequestered in his room, fulfilling commissions, forwarding emails to his father without comment, and updating his website to try to get more work. He consulted several forums in his search for platforms to help with organizing a story like what he wanted to do.
He left his phone in the kitchen and skipped lunch.
He stopped only to rest his wrists and to go to the backyard with Ellie to watch her growl at squirrels along the fence.
His plan was to get right back to work, but his grandma looked up from her laptop as he came in and asked if he planned on eating today.
