Esrin made a sound in her throat.
“No,” Tahlen answered over the sound of his sister’s annoyance. “You’re not one to go back on your word. Is that your bow?” Tahlen’s voice went stern again. “Leave it.”
Zelli jerked his head up. “Why? I can hit the target every time.” Esrin picked the bow and quiver off the floor and carried them away as if that was that. Zelli stared at her, then at Tahlen again. “I don’t want to be useless.”
“A target of straw is not a person,” Esrin said from the other side of the kitchens.
Tahlen kept his eyes on Zelli. “You would have to be at a distance to be of use with your bow, and have a cool head when you chose to kill someone. I don’t wish that for you.”
Zelli bit his lip instead of letting out his initial responses. He weighed pressing the issue and Tahlen’s possible replies. But it was mostly Tahlen’s phrasing that kept him from protesting. It was probably what had kept Esrin from objecting as well. Wishes were not to be taken lightly. And… and Zelli had not considered killing anyone, though he should have.
He settled on, “Am I supposed to do nothing if you are endangered?” only to glance nervously to Esrin, but she was back to packing up food as though intending to feed them for days.
“You’ve taken no oath to protect me.” Tahlen held up a hand as if to prevent Zelli immediately offering such an oath. Zelli closed his mouth. “If we’re smart, and careful, and lucky, it shouldn’t come to that. As you said, there are no reports of anything and we will only be gone a few days. We are also not attracting attention with a large retinue. And, well, you are of the fae.”
If Zelli revealed himself as being even partly of the fae, anyone wise would not bother him. Unfortunately, people were not always wise. Zelli proved that with his next words.
“If my appearance is so disturbing, then surely you don’t need to come with me,” he heard himself say, sour as old wine. He didn’t even mean it. He wanted Tahlen with him. But he was tired of being odd and avoided.
Tahlen was stiff. “I am aware you didn’t plan on my presence. But once The Tialttyrin discovers your absence, it will soothe her to know I’m with you.”
“For Grandmother,” Zelli muttered, mostly to himself, then jumped when Esrin dumped several more bundles of food into his arms.
“I will protect you,” Tahlen said as if in answer to Zelli’s whining. Zelli looked up and regretted it with how warm he grew. He always knew what he was doing until Tahlen was near.
Frazzled, confused, faintly embarrassed and uncertain as to why, he grumbled. “I can’t fit all this food in my pack.”
“I’ve put another on Lemon Blossom.” That Tahlen had already been to the stables and prepared Zelli’s favorite horse made Zelli grumble again, not unhappily. “I found no mail in your size within the guards’ spare equipment. When we get back, I’ll ask for some to be made.”
“I’ll make a note in the household ledger,” Zelli answered with surprise, “if you think I should have it.”
“Lolo,” Esrin called to her brother from the opposite side of the kitchen. Tahlen left Zelli to go to her. Zelli truly had no more room for all the food, but attempted to find some rather than appear to be listening to the brother and sister across the room. He didn’t know why Esrin sometimes called Tahlen by that nickname and could never ask. But if he happened to overhear….
“You don’t have to do this,” Esrin whispered, low and upset, as if she had already said it but had to try again. Tahlen must sometimes be like stone even with her. “Let him make his own choices or bring someone else.”
“Who?” Tahlen asked softly. He didn’t say that there was no one else willing to do it or that no one else was nearly as capable as he was, but Esrin must have understood all the same, because she crossed her arms. “I have to,” Tahlen added when she didn’t speak, his voice even softer. “Even if I didn’t, I am sworn to protect them with my body and my life.”
“Theywill be up in these hills, behind mighty walls,” Esrin argued. “Where they do little good, but at least don’t get in the way.”
Tahlen shook his head. “And he will be out there alone, doing what they should be doing.”
If Esrin didn’t dislike Zelli so much, Zelli would have shared a smile with her for her aggrieved sigh. Tahlen had a powerful effect on certainty with everyone.
Esrin muttered something else which Zelli did not hear, then lightly shoved her brother out through another door. She stared after him, though, hands clasped tight behind her.
Zelli took his chance. “Do you have any tarts or sweet cakes?”
He stopped abruptly in his approach when Esrin rounded on him. “I just gave you enough to feed a…”
“No, no.” Zelli did his best to gesture placatingly. “I meant, something special. I’m going to leave an offering by the gates to ask the fae to assure his safety.” He didn’t know why that would make Esrin freeze, but he was glad she did. Zelli lowered his voice though Tahlen was gone. “There is no convincing him not to come, but I didn’t mean to drag him into it, and… I don’t want him harmed. It’s a big favor to ask of them, so the offering must be something good. I have nothing they could want, but they do like sweets.”
Esrin stared at him without blinking, then pulled the knife at her belt so quickly Zelli jumped. In one motion, she tugged a lock of hair loose from her braid and sliced it off. She held the lock of pale brown hair out and Zelli shifted the food bundles once again to get one hand free. She set the lock in his palm and gave him a look that for once was not furious. “Don’t tell him.”
Zelli nodded. “I won’t.”
Esrin cleared her throat before turning away. “Then get going. The sooner gone, the sooner back. And be careful.”
She said that for Tahlen’s sake, but Zelli nodded again though she couldn’t see him, then left to make his way to the stables.
