Zelli should have thanked him and given him more time to go trade kisses with the probablyunderstandingKat Ryssa.
He pulled in a long breath, held it, then let it out.
Tahlen twisted around to give him a look.
Zelli directed his eyes elsewhere.
By midday, Zelli had his hood up to conceal his face from anyone working in the fields who might look to the road, and also from Tahlen. Grandmother might have implied he was sulking, but Zelli was tired and didn’t feel like talking, that was all.
Anyway, Tahlen got to behave this way all the time. No reason Zelli couldn’t.
“Would you like something to eat?” Tahlen had asked a while ago, when the fog had been reduced to wisps along the ground and a few clouds in the sky.
“No. But thank you.” Zelli’s answer had earned him one of Tahlen’s little exhales of irritation.
Zelli did not care. He should not care, it was perhaps better to say. Tahlen did not want him to care, so he would not.
He sank down miserably and scratched at his arms, at his neck, through his clothes and cloak. A long, hot bath, that’s what he needed. And tea. And news that a powerful but peaceful beat-of-four family had a son about his age, who would love to tie himself to a short, wild creature with no manners, a tendency to sulk, andfeelingshe could not contain.
“Zelli,” Tahlen tried again when the sun was getting high, “would you like something to eat?”
Zelli blinked, then raised his head to hear Tahlen’s voice so close. Tahlen rode alongside him, observing Zelli intently. Whatever he saw, he obviously did not like, because he pulled back, then steered Starfall off the road to a stand of scrubby trees.
Since it was leave him there or join him, Zelli followed, sliding clumsily from Lemon Blossom when it was clear Tahlen had no intention of getting back to the road. “What are you doing?”
Tahlen pulled a cloth bundle from one of his packs and handed the whole thing to Zelli before turning away. “It’s good to walk for a bit.”
Zelli decided to ignore that true, if strange coming from Tahlen, sentiment in favor of opening the cloth bundle. It was full of spiced biscuits, the kind he’d eaten with relish the day before.
Zelli hadn’t thought to add to their supply of provisions, but Tahlen had. Zelli really was in Tahlen’s way. He could have sent Tahlen out here by himself and Tahlen would have learned everything by now. Not that Zelli would ever have sent Tahlen on his own.
His cheeks were hot. Maybe his itchiness was illness. Wouldn’t that be just like Zelli? Finally get a chance to have a small adventure and be useful, only to immediately get sick.
Zelli looked up. “I am not ungrateful. But it’s not your duty to ensure I eat.”
Tahlen held an apple, which he spun in one hand even while giving Zelli a piercing study. “No. But I usually wouldn’t have to. If this is about your nerves and what your grandmother might say, I thought you did well.”
“You do?” Zelli’s disbelief made Tahlen draw his brows together.
Even Tahlen’s frown was rather beautiful, although he had shadows beneath his eyes. “Why is that so surprising?”
Zelli quickly shook his head. “I didn’t mean to suggest that you could not have opinions as a guard. You are Grandmother’s guard and she values your opinions—highly. I’m sure she would even if she didn’t know… your family name.” He finished with a stumble, cross with himself for mentioning it.
But Tahlen’s brow smoothed and then he sighed. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way last night.”
“Why?” Zelli wondered, staring moodily at the biscuits. “Because you are a guard and I am a beat-of-four? Iama beat-of-four. That is about all I am. You needn’t apologize. I’m the one who needs reminding that you are not my friend and don’t want to be, and I shouldn’t have questioned you. I’m sorry for that and for whatever someone said or did that hurt you so deeply that it still pains you.”
“Zelli,” Tahlen said hoarsely, “are you apologizing for others now too?”
Zelli looked up. “I can be sorry without apologizing for someone else.” The people who had hurt Tahlen and Esrin did not deserve Zelli’s apologies. “Having people act as though your family’s loss meant nothing is not the same as having people afraid of you and what your wild blood might do, but when I say even noble blood only goes so far with some, you know precisely what I mean, though I’d rather you didn’t. I’m sorry you were treated badly. That’s all I meant to say last night.”
Tahlen stared at him, then turned away. “It taught me things, anyway.”
“I imagine it did. Were you like this before?” Zelli gave a start. “Forget I asked that. I’m not prying. I’m eating.” He marched over to a small fallen tree and sat before shoving a biscuit into his mouth.
Tahlen studied him, eyes narrowed. “What is it that I am like now?”
“Watchful. Silent. Impossible to read.” Zelli hoped his crunching sounds drowned out most of the words.
