Nicodemus suddenly could barely breathe. He tried to remember what they were talking about, whatever Bel was trying to say. “Are you worried?” he asked at last. “You think your suitor will return here?”
“My suit—” Bel flattened his mouth and did not finish. “If it has sense, it would be too frightened to come back here. If not of me, then of you.” He narrowed his eyes, again implying Nicodemus had done something remarkable.
“No one said Icouldn’tbanish something in the Realm,” Nicodemus pointed out. “In any event, that thing doesn’t care about me except to get to you.” He tested Bel’s hold. Bel held firm. Nicodemus stepped in closer to glare more directly. “Those people it killed were meant to draw in someone for it to play with. And, Bel, it…moanedfor you when you hurt it.” He scowled at the memory. “You can’t torture it.”
“You can’t think that creature will go easy on me,” Bel said in disbelief. “I might not spend all day making it bleed, but I’m not going to grant it any mercy. Why should I?”
“Not mercy,” Nicodemus hissed like a furious alley cat. “You can’t torture it because it…itlikedit too much. And you are not going to give it that satisfaction. It doesn’t deserve it.”
Bel’s eyes widened, just a fraction.
Nicodemus kept up his glare with effort. “You won’t. You will remember who you are and remove the problem. Then you will come back.”
“Lambchop,” Bel finally answered, voice oddly rough, “you are ever-pragmatic, if a bit squeamish. I should not have forgotten.”
Nicodemus lifted his chin. “I’m a monster, too.”
“Yes.” Bel did not have fangs to show him when he grinned, but the hint of them was there. “Yes, you are. An entirely different breed than the likes of me. It knows it now as well.” His grin faded. “It might think of you as more than bait, after what you did. Once it finds its way back. And even if it doesn’t, I will have to find it. Tracking others in the Realm is…” he quirked his lips again “…difficult, if they do not want to be found.”
Whatever he was implying, Nicodemus has no time for it. “It wants you to seek it,” he offered, oddly uncertain, embarrassed in a new way because he would also want Bel to search for him.
Bel shook his head as if that point wasn’t what Nicodemus should be focused on. “You found me. You summoned me.” He nearly crushed Nicodemus’ fingers for a moment, his grip was so strong. “You want. That much. You wantmethat much.”
Thisembarrassment was familiar. Nicodemus lowered his head out of longstanding habit where Bel was concerned. “You knew that already.”
“I did not.” Bel seemed to bite out each word. Nicodemus was not even looking at him and he could feel the fires in his eyes. “We are no longer in the Realm.”
That made Nicodemus risk a look up. “I didn’t think we were. Can the Realm mimic Earth—”
“We are not in the Realm,” Bel said again, still staring at him.
Nicodemus twitched, and glanced at their hands, and couldn’t think of what to say. The Realm, what he knew of it, was uncanny and beautiful and terrifying. It was pleasure and pain and Bel keeping him from taking too much. Nicodemus would have taken everything if left on his own. That meant almost nothing here but there…he could have had it. He would have taken everything from Bel no matter what it did to Bel, and Bel had…. “Oh,” Nicodemus tugged one hand free and put it to his neck, where he could feel every scrape and bruise and bite. “That is who I am,” he realized in a whisper. He had been so greedy and careless. He had asked and asked and begged for more. He had not cared about danger or even Bel’s feelings. “I took your coat.”
A foolish thought compared to what he had actually taken. Nicodemus freed his other hand to wrap his arms around his chest. “I’msorry.” He kept his face turned away despite Bel’s silence. “I’ve always known it wasn’t possible for anyone to want me—keep me, as you were right to say. That doesn’t mean I didn’t dream of it. Especially when I’m…like this. I just didn’t dare to name it until you said that you…well, you didn’t even say it.Isaid it. I pushed it on you, because I wanted someone to want me. I’m so sorry, Bel. And now, you’re in more danger.”
Bel tutted as though Nicodemus was ridiculous. “You didn’t change in the Realm. You’re the same Nicodemus you have always been, only a little bruised.”
Nicodemus shivered for Bel’s fingertips under his chin, but obediently raised his head. “I used your feelings for me to get what I wanted.”
“You did.” Bel should not look at him like that, brightly and meanly pleased. “And you did it before you ever made a Ring. Just as I wanted you here. I simply meant that it is better to reconsider things when you are out of the Realm, so you can be sure.”
“That’s why.” Nicodemus sighed, quite helplessly. “That’s why, you see, Bel.”
“And I am in no more danger than before.” Bel seemed to enjoy the thought. “I have tasted its blood; it cannot hide from me now,” he promised, sylvan and wild, with his monster’s eyes showing. He returned his attention to Nicodemus. “You are not in your rut.”
Nicodemus shook his head. “It is near. But no, I’m not yet afflicted.”
Bel didn’t look away.“Youhave tasted its blood.”
“Hmm?” Nicodemus didn’t follow, distracted by the light in Bel’s eyes. Then he remembered kissing Bel’s bloody mouth. He wiped his mouth reflexively, far too late, but nodded. “I suppose so.”
“You suppose so?” Bel echoed, almost delighted at the polite phrase when Nicodemus had, in fact, licked blood from Bel’s mouth like a hungry animal. Bel opened his hand, slowly sliding his fingertips down Nicodemus’ neck, gentle over the mark he had left while wringing every last drop of seed from him. He studied the spot, then spoke quietly. “If it will ease you during your rut, you may use me for your pleasure. That is what you want, isn’t it? Just as you did tonight?”
Nicodemus looked into Bel’s eyes, thinking he had not used Bel, then thinking that he had, if only as much as Bel had used him. He put his hands to Bel’s stomach, but as hot as Bel was, it was nothing to the searing heat beneath Nicodemus’ skin.
“Yes.” He was also quiet. “Yes, I believe I do.”
“Then you shall have me, if I live,” Bel agreed, cool and serious. “At least for a week or so.”
