For several moments, neither of them spoke. Then David tightened his mouth.
“You said you weren’t good enough.”
The quiet statement was not at all what David ought to have said.
Tu blinked several times. “I’m not,” he replied at last, again in his own voice. “I’ve already failed you.”
“But you’re here,” David answered.
Tu still could not follow.
“Of course, I am here.” Tu had to make that clear, at least. “I had to see you. I didn’t mean to bother you, or even to speak with you. But you were miserable instead of happy, and I… if there was a chance that I could fix that, then I had to try.” Tu sighed at himself. “Whatever the bravery of a bookseller is worth. I allowed myself to think this was possible. That I could belong here. That you might want me to. I’m sorry.”
David’s silence was crushing. He was too kind even though he must feel betrayed and angry, and would not shout or order Tu gone. Tu dropped his gaze, only to bring it back up at the composed voice of Prince David.
“If I were not the Heir, I would forgive you now.” David stood like stone. “But I am, as you reminded me that day. And my marriage is not only for me, is it? It must be to the Prince as well as to David. It must be with someone who believes in both of them, and who could be accepted by a kingdom and my family, and who is brave enough to try.”
Tu had not wanted any reminders of who David was for so long, but it was a part of him. It shaped his every decision, down to how he spoke and held himself. It was impossible to love David and not the Prince, too. But realizing that at last still did not make Tu a fitting consort.
“You were right to remind me, even though it hurt,” David continued. “I thought love would solve it all. You were afraid, and I didn’t notice.”
“That’s because you are that strong.” Tu held his hands out. “I never blamed you for it. I couldn’t. If anything, it only proves I am still no match for a prince.” The rest fell out of him. “But I love one dearly. So it seems… so it seems I must fight for him, in my way.”
David dragged in a long breath. “The first night you were here, I thought I was still looking for you, even through the mask. That I missed you so much I imagined you. But itwasyou.” He took another deep breath. “Will you come again? You stood in front of me and told me you would try.”
“If you want me to.” Tu stared at him wonder. “Do you really? Even though you know who I am?”
“Will you dance with me again?” David asked in return, without innocence, because he had warned Tu that a second dance meant the King and Queen would wish to speak to him.
“Your family will not approve,” Tu protested, but quietly. Prince David would be his undoing. “Yes,” he agreed in the next moment, shaking. “If you still wish it.”
“When have I ever said no to you?” David was also trembling. “Tabatha will like you. Flor has been wondering when you would reappear—he had more hope than I. Though I love you.”
Tu grabbed one unsteady, beautiful hand and brought it to his mouth to press painted lips to it. He lowered his head. “You are loving and kind. The best prince. Much too good for me.”
Someone called David’s name.
David stayed where he was, only turning his hand over as if wanting to feel Tu’s breath on his wrist. “I often thought the same when I was in your bed while you worked so hard to bring me pleasure. Being beneath you is like lying in sunshine.”
“David.” Tu briefly closed his eyes. “You should not forgive me so quickly.”
The calling of David’s name became decidedly more urgent, as though they had an audience and someone felt they had to be reminded of propriety.
Because David would not, perhaps would not ever, Tu was the one to let go and to straighten until they were standing at a more respectable distance.
David only watched him. “You were right to remind me, and wrong to doubt me. But you are here now, and if you return, I would grant you a dance. I would grant you anything, Tu, if you tried for it.”
Returning for one more masquerade could not possibly equal that declaration.
Tu was not brave like David. But he understood the knights in the books on the shelves of his shop now, and the promises they made to their beloved kings.
He took David’s hand again, and kissed it, and said yes, just to see the dimple on David’s cheek.
TU SPENT two weeks in a dream, alternatively anxious and hopeful. Lady Stephanie laughed at him, and Flor de Maga appeared in his shop on a search for some novels, he claimed for a gift, but he left behind an invitation to the final masked ball in addition to the payment for his books.
It was the only communication from anyone near the royal family. A test. Because Tu could not be forgiven or accepted if he did not answer David’s invitation.
Tu downed brandy in Lord Hyacinth’s library and allowed the Countess al-Nihar to fuss with his hair, and did not look in the mirror at the remarkable creature they turned him into.
