Clematis was not certain what that meant. “Attention brings trouble.”
Flor’s gently combative flirting abruptly ceased. “Is your lord trouble?”
“No.” Clematis frowned. “He means well,” he explained, and Flor thinned his mouth to a hard line. “It’s not his fault that I don’t know how have fun, or how to say what I want. Except that I did, didn’t I? I did say what I wanted.”
“You did.” Flor softened instantly, though he still seemed unhappy. “Is that what you’ll tell him once you’ve left the ball and removed your mask?”
It hurt to swallow with how tight his throat felt. The sudden sting at his eyes did not help. Lord Hyacinth had said nothing about goodbyes, and Clematis hadn’t dreamed this far.
“I will tell him this was perfect,” Clematis answered finally. “That you were… he shouldn’t have made me come here.”
“Why not?” Flor held Clematis’s hand, probably thinking this was a comfort and not torturous.
Clematis could not keep the huskiness from his voice. “Because I won’t ever get it again.”
“Glacé plums and dancing?” Flor still did not understand.
“Dancing withyou,” Clematis told him forcefully, admitting his every secret wish.
Flor took a breath, loud in that moment. “Do I know you?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Clematis could not move with the way Flor watched him, the way he continued to whisper.
“Clearly, it does. But we can do this again, with or without masks. Or something else. Sit in a library, if you want. I have never been able to sit still for long, yet I think I would try, if you were comfortable. If you stopped trembling.”
Clematis hadn’t realized hewastrembling.
“You wouldn’t,” Clematis insisted. “Not if it was me. Not if the mask was gone and you saw…. What if I was no one? Not anyone properly invited to this event. Not even gentry. What if I was a no one who had lived his life afraid, and rolled in ashes to keep the stares away, to keep their hands—” He did not like to speak of that. Flor knew what he meant, despite the silence. He hissed and bit out a word a prince’s friend should not know. Clematis squeezed his hand. “A nobody who came to one house, one pleasant house with one kind lord and his loving husband who are known for tolerating mad ideas, and wild students, and egalitarian words. In this house, I was given freedom and knowledge and places to hide away in the library, and also in this house, so many rich and privileged students came through to talk and drink and be just as free. And one of them—” Clematis stopped again and closed his eyes. He wanted to drop his head to Flor’s shoulder again, and because this was his dream, he did so. Flor let him, drawing him tighter into his arms. “This is more than I would ever have asked for.”
“You have a higher opinion of me than you should,” Flor told him gruffly. “I lose my temper a lot. Which you will see if you stay to know me better.”
Clematis shook his head. “You are often frustrated by injustice, but you have never lost your temper.”
Flor gave a start, then settled a hand on Clematis’s waist. “Most people call me a brat and hate me for having David’s ear.”
“You help him so much.” Clematis could not think once Flor began to rub gentle circles into his hip and curled his other arm to allow Clematis closer. “He gets lost in the theoretical, sometimes, but you bring him back to the practical.” Flor gave another start for that. Clematis tried to explain. “Tu will—would have—helped him be a great king, but you help him stay a good man.”
Flor exhaled roughly and held Clematis that much tighter. “Am I allowed to guess how you know me?”
“It won’t matter after tonight.” That was true, even if it hurt.
Flor only snorted. “If you believe that, you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”
Clematis raised his head to object, but then could not speak.
Their faces were inches apart. The curve of Flor’s mouth tempted him in a way that was new and thrilling. Clematis had never been tempted, but when he looked up and found Flor watching him, he realized Flor would allow a kiss. That was what made it so exciting.
“I’ve thought about what it would be like to kiss you,” Clematis admitted quietly. “If I would I like it,” he added, because he needed Flor to understand that. “But I’m nervous.”
“Because of your lord?”
Clematis held still for a moment, startled and then thoughtful. “No. My lord is not my lover, if that what bothers you so much, Flor de Maga.” He thought he was right in that guess when Flor sighed but did not deny it or offer an apology. “My lord sent me here to give me a chance to find a lover.” His face burned even in the cool air. “He is the one who put this on the list of things I was to try, if I wanted.”
Flor’s voice was rough. “You’re to kiss someone?”
“You,” Clematis corrected, almost shocked at himself, except that Flor’s arms were warm and Flor’s lips fell open at the single word. “His husband argued that it was too much pressure, but I agreed to add it to the list because I did not believe it would happen.”
Flor closed his mouth but did not take his arm from Clematis’s waist.
