Yet they are here, ready to defend my honor. Or in Wyatt’s case, go all Dexter on the poor sap who decides to date me.
“I understand. Thank you, guys, for coming. It means a lot to me even if I’m not acting like it. I’m going to date Kellan. If it ends badly, I won’t regret it. I’ll take it as a lesson learned. I can’t live my life scared to do something because of the possible outcome. That wouldn’t be living. I need to take the leap of faith and deal with the consequences later. I want to find my Grace, Clay. I need you to give me room to do that.”
He sighs. “I know. I’m not saying don’t date him. I gave my blessing, and I meant it. I only want you to be careful and think about the decisions you make. That’s all I’m asking.”
Grace said he had given his blessing, but I didn’t believe it. Guess I have to now. I don’t get what he is saying then. Date Kellan, but be careful of my decisions?
Then it hits me.
Oh god. This fucking idiot.
“You do know that I’m not a virgin, right?” I ask Clay.
He balks as the other guys all make choking noises.
“Excuse me?” Clay’s eyes narrow.
“Junior prom. I lost it to Billy Jackson. Been active since. If that’s the decision you want me to be careful with, that ship has sailed.”
“I…what? I will kill him.” Clay clenches his fist.
It only makes me laugh. “Seriously? That’s what all of this was? You have sex with Grace all the time. I’m going to have sex too. It’s part of life. You need to get over it.”
“Please stop saying sex. The vein in his forehead is popping,” Beckett says to me as he stares at Clay.
At that moment, Brett pukes.
I jump back, glad the splatter misses me.
“Seriously, dude?” Beckett screams.
Wyatt grabs his arm, helping him stand back up.
“The pain was too much. That wasn’t a reflection of you, Cora,” Brett mutters.
Wyatt gives me a chin dip, moving Brett until he is in the back seat of the car.
“Cooper is going to get it,” Clay mutters.
I march up to Clay, pushing him in the chest. “No. You won’t do a thing to him. He has barely even kissed me. He is trying to do this right, and so am I. So stay out of my relationship. If you can’t, then I will have to cut you out of my life until you can. I won’t live my life forever in your shadow, Clay.”
“Cora.”
I shake my head. “No. I’m done. I’m going to be late. Goodbye.”
Stalking away, I leave them behind.
My heart hurts, though. I don’t want to shut Clay out, but I don’t need him to be acting like my father. I need him to be my support system when I need it but give me the space to grow and learn about myself.
If he can’t do that, I don’t know what I will do because life without him seems impossible.
* * *
It’s D-day. Okay, not really, but it is team-building day. My anxiety is through the roof. Breathing is even hard for me. I feel like there is this weight on my chest as I stand outside the building.
I know what I need to do, but I can’t seem to get my feet to move.
“Cooper, are you going to stand out here all day?” Clay asks as he comes up behind me, stopping at my side.
