I shake my head, tears falling from my eyes from the laughter and relief I feel. I want to marry Kellan, but today is not the day.
“Oh god, no. I mean, I want to marry you too. One day, but I am way too young to be thinking about marriage. My life is a mess right now. Fuck, that wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“So no to getting married, but does that mean I can’t stay with you? I don’t want to be hours away from you all summer, and getting an apartment makes no sense when I will be in the dorm in September.”
“Oh, you sweet adorable man.” I get out of my seat, straddling his lap. “Yes, you can stay here with me for as long as you want. To be clear, that wasn’t a no on the marriage thing. It was a not right now.”
He nods. “I got that. Can I kiss you now? I feel like I embarrassed the hell out of myself.”
I don’t answer him. Instead, I take his lips with mine. The kiss starts off innocent enough, but when I start grinding, he unbuttons my pants and sticks his hand in them. As he circles my clit, I moan.
“Hotshot, take them off.”
He helps me stand, stripping me of my clothes. When he goes to stand too, I shake my head.
“I’ve always wanted to fuck someone with their clothes on. Makes it seem more taboo,” I tell him, taking his cock out of his pants.
His breathing grows quicker as I stroke him until I’m certain he is as lustful as I am.
Then I position myself over him, sliding down his length in one go.
He halts my hips, hissing. “Condom.”
I smile at him. “Birth control. I’m not ready to take a major step, but I am ready to take the next step with you.”
That was all he needed to hear. He grips my hips, helping me set a steady pace as I fuck him into the chair.
My orgasm hits me first, his name falling from my lips.
The feeling of warmth fills me as he shoots his load.
He holds me in his arms as my breathing slows back down. Then he slaps my ass once.
“Hold on, beautiful. I’m not done with you yet.”
He picks me up, carrying me to my room.
We don’t leave it for the rest of the night.
* * *
Everything is right in my world.
We won the championship. Cora is sleeping by my side more nights than she is not. She even agreed to let me stay the summer with her. The guys and I are on good terms. Grace is slowly becoming my best friend again. Well, outside of Cora, that is. Wyatt and I have gotten close as well. I confide in him more than any of the other guys.
On top of all of that, my anxiety is under control. Or as under control as it can be. It’s weird how something can affect you so much without you even realizing it. It’s taken months, but I’m slowly figuring it out and what works for me. With the help of my family, Cora, and my doctors, we decided to avoid medications and only go that route if I couldn’t manage it other ways. Now I have a whole regimen of relaxation techniques that I use daily to keep my stress levels down. It’s been trial and error for sure, and while I have had an attack here and there, nothing as bad as the night on the ice.
It’s something that I’ll always have to live with, but knowing what triggers to avoid and what to do if it happens helps. For a moment I thought being diagnosed with anxiety would be a death sentence for my career, but I’ve learned it’s more common than one would think. It’s something that I can manage all while continuing to do what I love.
My world couldn’t get any better.
“All right, guys. The moment you have all been waiting for. This has been an amazing season, and I have been blessed to be your captain for the last two years. What no one will ever know is that we are a team, yes, but we are also a family. Those who bleed for the family and give every last drop of sweat on their brow will always be part of this family. Ten years down the road, we will still be family. No one can replace the chemistry we had this year. I only hope that you find your own chemistry next year and the year after that. Life is constantly changing, but it’s how you handle the change that determines the person you are. With that being said, we have the votes, and the new captain has been decided.” Clay holds up the envelope, but I know he already knows who it is.
Coach called him into the office before this whole thing to discuss it with him.
“Being a captain is less about the glory and more about what you are willing to do in order to keep your guys on the right track. At times, you are like a father to your peers, offering the guidance they need to keep themselves on track. Other times, you are a friend who listens to their burdens and helps them through their rough times. Most of the time, you are their coach. You are helping them become the best they can be for themselves and the team. It is a thankless position. Many times, you will be hated for the decisions you make. Others will covet it and want what you have.”
My heart hurts at that statement. I know that I was one of those people.
