My heart drops. I feel so ashamed for letting my teammates down.
Coach steps forward. “Rest. When Doc says you can, you can come watch the rest of the game. Take it easy, and we will talk about this later.”
“Thanks, Coach. Tell the guys I’m sorry,” I mumble.
“No need to be sorry, kid. We will get this worked out. It’s not the end of the world.”
He moves to leave but stops once he opens the door. “You’ve got a James sibling sitting outside the door. Should I send her in?” he asks.
My eyes fly to the door, seeing Cora sitting across the hall.
“Yes.” My throat seems raw all of a sudden.
I sit up, waiting for her, and she doesn’t disappoint.
Cora comes running in, stepping between my legs to hug me like it’s the last time she will ever do it. She has tears pouring down her face.
“How did you get back here?” I whisper, kissing the side of her face.
The medical staff are all avoiding looking at us, giving us some semblance of privacy.
“I begged the security guard. It was only after Grace told him I was related to Clay that he let me back. I had to show him family photos. God, I thought you died. My heart stopped, Kellan. Literally stopped.”
She’s sobbing now. I hold her and let her get it all out. I rub my hand down the back of her head as she does.
When she is all cried out, she pulls back, sniffling. I hand her a tissue, smiling as she coyly turns around to blow her nose.
“I’m so gross, I’m sorry,” she mumbles.
“Not at all. Come sit with me.” I pat the side of the medical table. She hops up next to me, resting her head on my shoulder.
“What happened?” she asks.
“I had a panic attack. At least that’s what they think. Medically I’m fine, but I felt like I was dying.”
“That’s not good. Are you going to the hospital to get checked out?” she asks.
I nod. “Once the game is over, I’ll go. Coach will want to go with me. He said we could discuss what this means for me later.”
“You think it will affect your ability to play hockey?” she asks.
“No idea. I’m trying not to think about it. Makes me feel all tight-chested again,” I admit to her.
She holds me around my center, and I wrap my arm around her, kissing her head.
“It’s going to all be okay. I love you,” she tells me.
“I love you too.”
Tonight was the scariest moment of my life, but having her here with me helps soothe some of the anxiety.
After twenty minutes, I feel better, so I ask the doctor if we can watch the rest of the game. Cora stays by my side as we watch my teammates lead us to victory.
A pang of sadness hits me that I wasn’t on the ice with them, but I’m proud of them.
I’m proud of us.
twenty-six
