She glances at Barrett with a small smile. “It’s recent.”
Barrett snorts. “We met at the beginning of this trip. We aren’t really together.”
Candice gasps, frowning at him.
“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise. Well, what would you say is your favorite thing about Candice?” the comedian asks Barrett.
“Have you seen her tits? They are phenomenal. My ex didn’t have anywhere near this much.”
My heart pinches at his comment. I’m obviously the ex.
Dominic leans down to whisper in my ear, “Ignore him. He’s a douche.”
“Yeah, she has quite a rack on her. Tell me, darling. What would you say is his best quality?”
Candice is pissed now. She is leaning away from Barrett. “Well, it isn’t his small dick. Honestly, I’m not sure he has a good quality about him at this moment.”
“Oh, come on, babe. You know I’m only playing. Candice here is a sweet girl. Total girlfriend material.” Barrett tries to save himself.
The comedian chuckles. “Now there’s a man with an open mind, you can feel the breeze even from up here! Regret letting him stick his dick in you yet?” He asks, looking at Candice.
Candice doesn’t confirm or deny, just shifts uncomfortably in her seat.
“We will take that as a yes. Bright side dude, Isaac Newton died a virgin. That means you have one up on one of history’s greatest scientific geniuses.”
The crowd laughs.
“You know what we’ve never heard about? An astronaut masturbating in space. Why? Because then they would be admitting to masturbating while at work. You can’t even do that at a fast food place, it’s a fireable offense. I should know. How do you think I ended up doing this?”
“Oh god.” I laugh.
“Sorry, sorry. When in doubt, go for a dick joke. It makes people laugh every time. I have a lot of growing up to do, I realized that the other day when I was rearranging my Pokémon cards.”
“Where did they find this guy?” Dominic whispers.
“No idea.”
“When I signed the contract for this gig, I decided to watch a video on how ships are made. Let me tell you, it was riveting.”
The crowd laughs while shaking their heads.
“Nah, I took this job because my girlfriend broke up with me. She didn’t like that I was pretending to be a Transformer. I kept promising her I could change, but I guess it didn’t happen.” The comedian shrugs.
* * *
The comedian has kept goingon his set and while Katie has laughed several times, I can’t tell you a single thing he has said.
How can I focus on him when I know Katie is sitting next to me without panties?
Not only that, but she put her wet panties in my pocket. Isn’t that a known signal that a girl wants to get fucked?
Maybe not for Katie though. She’s not the usual type I go for. If I was home, I would know for sure what this means. The girls who flock to me either want my money or my body. While I have used those avenues to satisfy an itch from time to time, it was never that often.
This isn’t like that though.
Part of me is questioning whether or not Katie is testing me. She set up her boundaries. She said no sex. Is she trying to see if I’ll break her rules?
Why would she do that though? To prove I’m a prick? Or maybe she wants me to cross those lines so she can blame me when it’s over.
